I’ve posted this quiz before, but because I think it’s such a very helpful thing to know about yourself, I’m posting it again. Recognizing this distinction has been one of the most important insights that I’ve had into my own nature — more helpful, say, than understanding that I’m an under-buyer, not an over-buyer.
A piece of advice I often see is, “Be moderate. Don’t have ice cream every night, but if you try to deny yourself altogether, you’ll fall off the wagon. Allow yourself to have the occasional treat, it will help you stick to your plan.”
I’ve come to believe that this is good advice for some people: the “moderators.” They do better when they try to make moderate changes, when they avoid absolutes and bright lines.
For a long time, I kept trying this strategy of moderation — and failing. Then I read a line from Samuel Johnson, who said, when someone offered him wine: “Abstinence is as easy to me as temperance would be difficult.”
Ah ha! Like Dr. Johnson, I’m an “abstainer.”
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I overindulge, if it’s there or available my mind just craves it until I get it. The only solution for me is to be an abstainer. Making the strict, person choice that I just have to remove it from my life.
Of course this amplifies the binges in those moments of weakness and stats the cycle all over again. There’s gotta be a trick to it, some form of lasting mental discipline. I’ve tried to quit smoking before in moderation, one or two a day, but it always let back to that old pack n’ a half day.
My lifelong struggle has been with overeating, especially certain foods. I realized many years ago that it is easier for me to totally abstain than to moderate. I’m tempted at times, but simply ‘turning away’ physically or psychologically, is easiest. We don’t buy the foods I (we) avoid — if I don’t have access to it, I won’t eat it.
I struggle at buffets, so I choose not to go to them. I’m more comfortable being served a plate of food than having to select from an array, and then ‘force’ myself not to get more! The internal debate detracts from the experience. But, sometimes, social exigencies are contrary to my preferences, and I’ll go with family and friends to a buffet restaurant. It’s not pleasant for me (re: the internal debate), but socializing is more important than rejecting, refusing, or imposing my desires on others.
I’m also an abstainer. Wine is my downfall. I rarely drink to feeling drunk, but I often have more than the recommended 2 drinks per day – probably 3-4; and rarely have the recommended 2 alcohol free days, unless I abstain.
I’m a little of both, but probably more of a moderator. I abstain from certain things that I’d have difficulty moderating with, like pizza and Haagen-Dazs vanilla ice cream. It’s easier to avoid those altogether. But most things I would prefer to have a little, rather than none at all. I guess it comes do whether I have the self-control to moderate certain things. If I don’t, then I abstain – as a last resort.