In their must-read book, Loving Someone with Bipolar Disorder: Understanding and Helping Your Partner, authors Julie A. Fast and John D. Preston, PsyD, provide a wealth of information on how readers can support their partners with managing their illness. Each chapter features practical and wise ideas on better understanding bipolar disorder and working together to identify problems, triggers and effective solutions.
One of these tips is creating comprehensive lists of behaviors and activities that minimize symptoms and those that don’t. It can be tough to know how to help your partner, and sometimes, naturally, your own frustration, confusion and anger may get in the way.
Plus, some of the behaviors and activities that work may not be intuitive or automatic for you, especially if you’re stuck in old patterns. In fact, according to Fast and Preston, you may be surprised to learn that “bipolar disorder often doesn’t respond to traditional problem-solving behaviors.”
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Does your book address the problem that the spouse doesn’t believe in bipolar disorde and thinks the medicine causes the problems?
I was diagnoded over ten years ago and he is fine as long as I work. I had to real problem with stress in my last job began losing my memory and health and had to quit. Now he is angry/depressed. As long as I can hold down a job he’s fine. He does have a good job and is able to support our family. He just wants the security of my having a job. He has an anxiety problem with finances. It is a great challenge for me to work outside the home. I told him that this makes me feel unloved and if I need to have a job to make him happy, then I may get one but will probably not be able to be married to him. He also thinks disability is unethical.
What about a spouse with BP-1 accompanied by full-blown anosognosia?
How do you help a person who completely and absolutely sees nothing wrong with his/her behavior even though they are leaving a trail of hurt and destruction around them?
Any comments from myself or others are met with “I don’t have a problem, YOU have!”