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8 Quick Facts on Sex Addiction

This guest article from YourTango was written by Dr. Joe Kort

While some people are inappropriately labeled “sex addicts” — providing a blanket excuse for all kinds of irresponsible sexual behavior — others truly suffer from uncontrollable sexual impulses, or sex addiction.

Someone with sex addiction isn’t just someone who loves sex. The main symptoms of sex addiction include a loss of control, failed attempts to stop unwanted sexual behavior, and a pattern of negative consequences from anxiety to depression and legal problems.

Here are some quick facts about sex addiction you may not know…

6 Comments to
8 Quick Facts on Sex Addiction

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  1. Hi Dr. Kort,

    Very much enjoyed your article and found myself nodding my head throughout. I would say however that the bulk of the clients I see who present as sex and love addicts are well-functioning neurotics, people who did not experience either severe trauma (sex abuse, i.e.) or suffer with a personality disorder. They got hooked up with fantasy and masturbation from an early age and have relied on it ever since to self-soothe and avoid hard feelings.
    I very much like your comments on treating the couple. The addict is usually the IP (Identified Patient) and I too have to really hold both parties responsible for their individual contributions to the relationship. Thanks for providing more info on that..very useful.

  2. Dr. Kort,
    Thanks for you posting. You mention sex addiction but you do not mention porn addiction. A sex addicts use of porn can be harmful to a marriage. Here is a link to a site that describes porn’s impact:

    I agree many sex addicts have had childhood sexual abuse but many do not. Some were just exposed to porn when they were too young.

  3. Hello Dr. Kort
    I agree with your 8 quick facts about sex addiction. I just wanted to add that I have found with some substance abusers that the underlying primary addiction has been sexual addiction, and that if the substance abuser was not able to address the sex addiction he or she was not able to stay sober from drugs or alcohol.

    Thanks for writing such a clear and informative article.
    Gail Appel, MS, LMHC, CASAC,CSAT

  4. “People with Asperger’s Syndrome may be at greater risk of exhibiting out-of-control sexual behaviors.”

    why? This makes no sense to me. What is the reasoning for this and what is your source?

  5. am curious to know, does this run in families? My ex-husband…and everyone of his male 1st cousins, on his fathers side..have all been arrested and charged with sexually assaulting children and women!This is something i have never heard of before, it’s just so many of them…charged with the same things. They all have physically beat their women as well. Three of them are in prison right this minute, for killing their gf or wives. Another, was just charged this week..again, with molesting a child for a number of years. They are all the sons of brothers..they are also closer kin than what’s normal. The brothers all married and had children with their 1st cousins, enbreding runs deep in their family.If you have ever heard of such a thing, as this ..please let me know. thanks.

  6. Dr Kort
    I am the partner of a sex addict. On the surface, he was a very accomplished business man who travelled extensively for his work and on the surface was a loyal and loving husband. I knew when I married him, he had been sexually abused at 8 by a teenage boy and he came from a home in which his father was an alcoholic and very emotionally abusive. He presented as being well adjusted and never wanted to talk about his childhood. I came from a loving well adjusted family. My parents have been married 59 years and are still in love at 93 and 84. My childhood was amazing and other than being raped at 19 which was very traumatic, my life was and has been fulfilling and full of love and joy. Discovering my husband’s secret life has been devastating and has been an eight year hell. I encourage you to do more reading and research into Partner Trauma and the work of Dr Omar Minwalla, Lili Bee with PoSARC and many more who are leading the way for partners healing and really providing research based findings on partner trauma vs co addiction/dependency. I did not pick a sex addict for a husband, rather I believe he picked me because I provided him with a good, trusting relationship in which he could hide behind and do his acting out! I’m not perfect but I did not have anything to do with his devastating behaviour… He is owning it and in Recovery. He is also very supportive of the Recovery work I am doing to heal the emotional abuse and betrayal he inflicted on me!

  7. My husband and I are both in counseling for his pornography addiction, but with separate therapists. At what point should we be seeing a counselor as a couple?


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