This guest article from YourTango was written by Dr. Margaret Paul.
“Science has finally confirmed what anyone who’s ever been in love already knows: Heartbreak really does hurt.” — CNN Health
In a new study using functional magnetic resonance imaging (fMRI), researchers have found that the same brain networks that are activated when you’re burned by hot coffee also light up when you think about a lover who has spurned you.
In other words, the brain doesn’t appear to firmly distinguish between physical pain and intense emotional pain. Heartache and painful breakups are “more than just metaphors,” says Ethan Kross, Ph.D., the lead researcher and an assistant professor of psychology at the University of Michigan, in Ann Arbor.
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Hi,
I can add this. I can tell you that I am from a background where divorce and breakups are rare. When I lost my best friend of 12 years and wife of a decade to antidepressants, it left a mark on me. I have tried 2 other serious relationships since then. One should have been with the perfect counterpart. We shared many of the same passions and philosophies. But as I got close, I couldn’t help but to concentrate on the negatives with razor attentiveness. I would push them away. Both noted that the most intense periods of negativity came after spending the weekend with my young daughter. Remarking how I would hide away my emotions when with her, but as soon as she was out of my custody, I would grow irritable and closed off. There is certainly a Pavlovian trigger, a “Skinner affect” when one has a heart break. Even knowing that I am doing it can’t stop it.