This guest article from YourTango was written by Dr. Bruce Derman.
Should I stay or should I go?
If your marriage is on the line and you’re considering divorcing your spouse, you may have had some of the following thoughts:
I feel like I need to end this so-called marriage. Yet, how can I be sure? / Some days I feel more confident of my decision than others / A part of me still loves and/or cares for him. / I don’t think I am in love with him but what if I make a mistake? / Many people will be affected by my decision. / Maybe I’m being too hasty. / If only he would just change his behavior …
Or, maybe your spouse wants a divorce. In that case, you’ve probably had some of the following thoughts:
Divorce? Where did that come from? Two weeks ago, we were talking about going on a vacation! / I had no idea our marriage was this awful./ I am shocked and devastated./ I have to find a way to stop this. / Maybe this is all a dream and when I wake up things will be back to normal.
Many books and articles assume that once a couple says they want a divorce, they are truly ready for it. However, that’s often not the case. In fact, usually, when couples begin the divorce process, either one or both partners are not really ready at all.
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Site last updated: 18 May 2013
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Lots of him’s in this article.
I think there needs to be a paragraph about how sometimes it is not possible to wait for divorce when domestic violence or any other type of abuse is the reason for the divorce.
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If your marriage is on the line and you’re considering divorcing your spouse. I don’t think I am in love with him but what if I make a mistake? / Many people will be affected by my decision. / Maybe I’m being too hasty.