Let me first say that I’m glad that many many mothers around the world can go about the challenging and rewarding job of parenting without experiencing mental illness. Clearly the majority of mothers can weather the storms without …
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Thanks for this GREAT article! I have been writing about my own experience with depression in my blog, but it is so pervasive, that it’s hard to put into words what I have experienced. I am now doing much better, thanks to an anti-depressant. But because I have realized, as you say, that there are so many factors involved, I’m doing my best to address all of them while I have the advantage of medication on my side.
Thanks for this enlightening article – it’s very helpful for women who are depressed to know they are NOT alone and there IS help.
Thanks for a great post! Women and mothers, in particular, are vulnerable to mood related problems. So few are accurately identified, especially since depression can so often be confused with medical problems like hypothyroid and hormonal imbalance (specifically, estrogen dominance). There are so many environmental and biological factors that can be identified and quickly corrected these days, and yet so many women are handed antidepressants without proper evaluation.
I am a mother of a 10 yr old son & 8 yr old daughter. I love my kids so much & want to be the best Mom I can to them but I am not. I work a full time job.I jungle my schedule aound them to attend their school & sports activities. But my husband is the better parent b/c he cooks for them , makes them exercise, helps them with their sports & homework. He is smarter & wiser than I am. He says I am dumb & can not help them with their homework because I will teach them wrong. I speak & write improper grammar. Also,when my kids start backtalking to me or arguing with me I try to discipline them & tell them to stop but my husband says that I am just arguing back with them & that I like to cause arguments. But i don’t I just want my kids to respect me as their mother & not talk down to me like I am stupid. They do not do that with their father & he is no help bc/ he disrespects me too.
Lately I have been just wanting to die. I have been having sucidial thoughts but I am too scared to act upon them. I realize that it would be stupid to take my own life & have my children wonder why? But instead I have been praying & hoping that I would have some type of illness or accident that will kill me. I feel that my kids will be better off with out me in their life. But I can’t leave them bc I love them so much. So I pray to god why does he let innocent children die everyday, take me instead. I will not be missed my kids bc they have their daddy to take of them bc he does a better job than I do.
I really want to be a good mother, wife & person but nothing I do seems to be good enough or right. I am lazy,stupid a liar & irresponsible with money. I want to change but I do not know how to? Please help me?
Awheat, I cried when I read your post. It breaks my heart that you have been made to feel that you are not worth the respect of your children or husband. That someone would even dare to call you stupid, is disgusting. NO-ONE deserves to be treated like that! The fact that you long to be a good mother means that you are well on your way! Your children need and deserve you in their lives. You can provide them with things and teach them things that your husband can’t.
Before I had children, I had severe depression and I almost ended my life because I hated myself – I thought I was worthless and everything just seemed hopeless. I am so glad to this day that I stuck with it and sought help for my depression. And although I am struggling with some of those feelings again now, I know with absolute certainty that my situation is NOT hopeless.
Although you may feel that your situation is hopeless, can I please assure you that it is not. There is a way out. But you need to find people who will lift you up and treat you with the respect and love that you deserve.
You are a mother, you are VALUABLE and you are LOVED (even if it doesn’t always feel like it!), you are a precious human being and you are worth the effort it will take to get through this.
nice
I am only recently feeling the reality of motherhood depression.. I have a beautiful 2 year old that came into my and truly transformed me and my world. I do everything possible to be a good mother and provide for her, still I can’t but feel overwhelmed.. The idea of being a mother has just been a real though issue to address. I know I’m a good parent and I know I show my daughter the love she deserves, there’s always room to be better and that’s something I’ve come to understand. Yet, I can’t shake the depression feeling off.. These articles have made me feel better as I realize I’m not the only mother with hidden feelings, depressions and fear.. Thank you a lot!!
“Other moms may feel overwhelmed by affection and interaction, doing the minimum amount they need to for their kids and keeping their distance. It’s not that they wouldn’t know that kids need more, but they simply can’t do it. It makes the mom feel worse to engage and touch than to back off. She conserves herself to “fight another day” by limiting herself each day. Of course, this means that the kids are missing out on emotional connection, teaching moments, social interactions, and so on. ”
What can mothers in this situation do? My daughter is 4 and a half years old. She has clothes on her back, food in her stomach, goes to a private Montessori, wants for nothing–except every second of my time. I do really love her dearly and don’t want to give her up—everyone I know says that I should have from the beginning…I just can’t seem to love her more than I already do. I’ve always preferred to be on my own and when I get lonely only then do I seek out others…However, my daughter constantly seeks me out. I inevitably feel like I must hide (literally) from her to get a moment alone…I seriously can’t even go pee without her following me! I’ve tried just being nice and suggesting activities that she can do alone…but then she sulks, cries…sobs…tells me that I’ve hurt her feelings…This particular course of events makes me feel anger/aggression (I’m an out burst yeller) and it happens daily, at least once… I’ve told her, tried to help her understand how I feel—I know it’s selfish, but I just can’t…and I’m starting to resent her. I’m so conflicted. I just don’t know what to do. I have been on 100-200mg of Zoloft for 3 years now. I exercise regularly–cardio at least 4 days a week as well as Pilates twice a week, I had a year of cognitive behavioral focused therapy…Nothing seems to help the fact that I am still feeling overwhelmed/depressed/angry…