My mom used to tell me that the most annoying kids at school were the ones who needed my love, acceptance and compassion most. At the time, I could hardly bare hearing about it. I mean who wants to be friends with, “the crier, “the bully,” or “Miss bossy pants”?  But as I got older, things changed. I realized that while it was never my responsibility to befriend those I deemed unlikable, there was potential for my own self-growth if I could go beyond their external difficulties and look within.

Her words of advice has helped me to win over challenging employers/clients and loosen my grip on how I judge others and even myself. It’s a reminder that we’re all vulnerable and doing our best most of the time. And it’s given me a clearer perspective of people’s behavior. When loved ones are being controlling, for example, they might be feeling out of control.

Or if someone is being overly confident, cocky, or close-minded, they may be compensating for feeling weak, insecure or unsure. It’s heartbreaking that those who are most difficult to deal with haven’t learned how to get what they need. In desperation for love, attention, respect, they react in confusing ways, repelling the very people they are trying so hard to attract.

This week you may recognize a few of these individuals or you may even see yourself in our top posts. The point is not to forget who we are and our own needs in the presence of those who are grappling with their own. But in understanding why your family was not the happiest growing up for example, or what’s been triggering your bad behavior lately, you may open the door to accepting others and yourself.

Continue reading… »