As divorce rates in the U.S. were rising by the end of World War II, so were fears over the state of marriage and family life. Skyrocketing rates sent many couples to seek expert advice to bolster their marriages.
During this time, the idea that marriage could be saved — and a divorce prevented — with enough work gained ground, according to Kristin Celello, assistant professor of history at Queens College, City University of New York, in her fascinating book Making Marriage Work: A History of Marriage and Divorce in the Twentieth-Century United States. A slew of experts stepped in to help American couples strengthen their unions — and with some interesting suggestions.
These experts, however, weren’t necessarily trained therapists or even anyone who had anything to do with psychology. Take marriage expert Paul Popenoe, for example. He was incredibly well-known and established one of America’s first marriage counseling centers in the 1930s, made regular media appearances and contributed to Ladies Home Journal — and he was a horticulturalist.
The marriage prescriptions of the 1950s could be summed up in one sentence: It was mainly a woman’s job to foster a happy marriage and steer it away from divorce.
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I grew up and married in this atmosphere. It took me a long time to overcome the guilt that swam over me as I broke these types of rules. I recount my struggles and victories in my self help memoirs. Many women all over the world and here in North America still live with these types of beliefs. After you laugh at the absurdity take a look around and see if you know of women struggling in abusive relationships who could use your support.
Yes, *clearly* we have this marriage thing much more figured out now … just look around you.
Obviously nobody is in favor of abuse. But that doesn’t mean that every bit of marital advice from the past is bad.
Maybe we need to take the best of both eras and blend them a bit. Laughing at the past is a cheap shot and a good way to miss some good insights.
What exactly do you consider good advice in this article or this book? Just curious of your opinion. I actually agree the some of the concepts are good ideas and can help save a marriage. Only difference is both MEN and women need to adopt them. Lets face it, most divorces are activated by women theae days, which means women are no longer happy or fullfilled in marriages anymore. Now that we are allowed to work full-time and no longer need to depend on men for financial security, men need to find ways to keep their wives home (or out of divorce court at least, since the fear with women is of outright divorce rather then cheating. At least that’s the impression I get from hearing men talk.) Bottom line, there has been a total power shift recently. Now I think there is an impression that men get more out of marriage but women get more out of a divorce/single parenting (alimony, child support, tution aid, welfare, single life).
Heee Hawww… Let’s just use a ROPE like Ellie Mae did on The Beverley Hillbillies TO LAND US A HUSBAND!!!… This article makes me want to curl up with a good movie… THE STEPFORD WIVES..comes to mind. Thanks, But No Thanks, I Would Rather Die Alone than Relieve The FAKE FIFTIES~~~PS Thanks To FACEBOOK YOU GOT THE WOMEN CHEATING AS WELL, EVEN WITHOUT HAVING TO WEAR A PILL BOX HAT~~~Desiree Cart Dugas
*thumbs up* Metallica’s song “Sad But True” comes to mind…
If you wanna have a decent laugh at what an ‘ideal’ wife was like int the ’50s, look up 15 Ways to be a Good Wife
its amusing
This article from the ‘50’s’ proves that things haven’t change at all. It is still a women’s responsibility to maintain a marriage, to handle and eventually accept her husband behavior even when she disagrees with it. Over 90% of the divorce are filed by women, which also indicates that females are no longer in agreement with those ideas. According to females…men do not value the sacrifices they do to maintain the union and wellbeing of the marriage and when caught (men) doing things that not contribute, they had become good at excuses utilizing the “right words”. If the female accept the apologies the conception from their (men) point of view is that they could get away with everything.
Marriage is responsibility of both…not only one and should be a 50-50 responsibility…”it takes two to tango.” It is the corner stone of the society and divorce rate is affecting everyone. The reality is that things have changed…females roles have grown enormously and in addition to the old ones while the men role has stayed almost intact. Females are not longer willing to cope with abuses and disrespectful behavior coming from anyone and that includes the husband…time has changed…it is starting to be fair… One thing that haven’t change and we heard constantly… “don’t do to others what you don’t want done on to you” ..so, husband…treat your wife the same way you want to be treated by her… Wife…treat your husband the same way you want to be treated by him…
Wow! This was a very informative article. Though it made my stomach literally turn to read it, I am glad that I was not born in the 1950′s. We still struggle today with some men still believing that men are inherently more important than women, but those men are few and far between now. It is good to be evolved.
Wow. I am a domestic violence advocate and I am hosting a fundraiser called “Bring back the good ole days with a 50′s 60′s Jukebox Saturday night.” (Dance) I actually thought all my life that the 50′s offered better times. Well, apparently, it was to men. They were not held accountable for their actions. Cheating, drinking, abusing, ect. by the men made legal authority point the finger at women!!!????!!! For not looking good enough? Seriously? What about the fact that God created man AND woman in his own image. It was not good for man to be alone, so He gave man a woman as a companion, not to rule over. He gave us the beasts to rule over. We’re not even supposed to abuse our power over our own children!!! Yes, we can discipline, but never out of anger! Now I am lost, confused, and feel like I have faced the unbelievable reality of what it was really like in those days! I am now thankful to be living in today’s world, where a man must take responsibility for his crimes. The end, and Amen.