“If you get lost in a trigger that thrusts you to a painful event, take a deep breath and remember: we can’t change that we’ve hurt before, be we can choose not to suffer now.”
~Lori Deschene, Founder of TinyBuddha.comI perceive happiness to be a choice. It can be as much of a choice as deciding what pair of jeans to wear in the morning, what song to upload onto your iTunes, or what Italian restaurant to dine at on a Friday night.
If we can easily succumb to the negative emotions of hostility, jealousy, anxiety, or sadness, why can’t we turn it around and decide that in the present moment we want to be happy?
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I so loved and needed this today. I looked over at a picture of one of my sons that passed away 1 year ago, and felt the old familiar drop in the pit of my stomach. This website came up and the first paragraph just slapped me in the face with awesomeness. Thank you.
I’m so glad : ) I absolutely love that quote!
I can’t wait to share this!! Thanks
This post really brings home the fact that we can control a lot of how we feel, and that happiness isn’t just something that happens to us; it is something we can create. Thanks for the reminder!
Just walked away from 35 years of life with a man who has been the family scapegoat all his life. He has too many triggers. Sad he cannot see what a miracle he really is.
I have not read the book you have referenced. Nor do I believe that you can LOVE another person from your past when you have committed to another one in your present. You might LOVE them as the mother or father of your kids or as a human being but in my opinion, when you live together with someone, get engaged, marry, or exist as common law, that person becomes your “SOUL MATE”. This society has become too dependent upon if your not happy with the person you are with, find another. A little self reflection, forgiveness, repentance for wrongs committed and good old fashioned communication could resolve many of the divorces or failed relationships in our society.
I appreciate the point that, though genetics are important and do have an impact on who we are, they are just one of several factors that shape us. I think genetics can provide us with some important data, but it is always better to focus on the parts of ourselves we can do something about. Genetics shouldn’t be an excuse for not taking responsibility or for not trying to improve ourselves and our situations. I’ve worked with a lot of clients who say, “That’s just the way I am,” as though no one should ever ask anything of them that might be a little uncomfortable or unpleasant. In other words, no one should request a behavior change. Much of how we are is learned, and we can choose to behave differently, whether its heredity, personality, environment or whatever. It might take a little more concerted effort, but change that takes effort is a vital part of how we grow. So much of happiness, contentment, satisfaction, peace, or whatever word we’re using is about watering our own grass rather than paying attention to grass that might look greener.
Yes, but if you previously made a stupid choice which has lead to unhappiness, now, then it is a little difficult to turn your life around by not dwelling on your utter stupidity, and that the world would so much be a better place if you had not been so stupid…blah..blah..blah.
After all, missed opportunities never return, no matter how hard you look for them, and if a missed opportunity would have lead to happiness, as distinct from the unhappiness the wrong choice caused, then you CANNOT choose to put aide your stupidity and think that “tomorrow is another day”