Sometimes the killer of relationships isn’t a lack of trust, a lack of communication or arguing with your significant other. It’s simple indifference.
A relationship can survive most things if both people involved in it are committed to the other person and act with respect toward …
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Totally agree with this point – it’s also a difficult one to fight against as it can creep up on a relationship. The counter to indifference is passion
Give me time please. I’ve been a user and admirerer ( love that sp erroe ) of you and your site for years. Do you link your kind of ‘indifference’ with the dismissal type of attachment?
Thank for your efforts.
What the **** is wrong with people acting like they care at the beginning of a relationship then turning to indifference after a few months? I never stop caring, or doing the things that show I care, regardless of how much time has passed. I’ve heard that in order to attract people who are genuinely kind and caring, you have to be that kind of person. Why isn’t it working, then? Our world is built on lies, you know. God has forgotten all of us and left us to die in suffering for the choices that other people made long ago. Boycott God! Let him know that we will stand up against the hipocrisy that he has allowed to accrete within humanity!
I was puzzled by the fact that my last relationship ended so quickly after he made a commitment to the relationship. In the beginning there was laughter, love meeting of minds so close we would finish each others sentences or say the exact same thing at the same time.He lied to me about being celebate for over 6 years as he then said I have had an AIDS test not long ago if you want to see it. I never called him on it.He never in the while time I was with him called me by my given name,he would not answer why. I would love to know what others think and also why I cannot after 3 years banish him from my heart and mind.
Helen I think you thought you were in love with him because of the way things were at the beginning and that didn’t let you see the negatives of the relationship. You can’t forget him because you fell in love with the illusion of being in love with him.
my boyfriend of 2 and a half years just broke up with me and this seems to say exactly what was happening inour relationship. I care but he just didn’t seem to anymore. He never made plans that automatically included me, he refused to commit to any plans I tried to make, there was no passion left in our relationship. All this really confusedme and I was unable to get an answer from him as to what was wrong. I cared so much for him but could not understand why he didn’t feel the same way. It was definitely indifference. I can see that now. I was willing to try councelling and he initially agreed but then wouldn’t let me make an appointment. I feel really hurt and don’t know what I could have done differently to avoid this situation from arising and killing our relationship. I hope that just being aware of it in the future may help me spot the signs earlier before all is lost.
@Helen
I don’t call people by their names
usually. This just means I have a
distance to people I don’t know
very well. For me, using the name
is kind of personal and a bit
intimate.
I have to really like someone and
trust the person to call Him/Her
by Her/His name. (unless it’s
necessary to shout to someone
from far away)
Maybe it’s just me, but I think the
guy just didn’t like You that much.
I think sometimes ‘indifference’ develops after you have ‘felt’ too much, and for too long, and nothing has changed.
Like this: First you really ‘love’ him so much. Then he hurts you so much. Then you get ‘angry’ so much, and from there you stop caring altogether.
Yes some good points raised, I have seen this very much in older relationships, couples who have been married for more than 15 years or so with Children. My own marriage broke down however not because of indifference but acceptance and then lack of real love. there was still some caring and concern but the passion was gone. I can now feel the difference with my new relationship because the feelings of love, passion and true caring have returned. there is acceptance of each other but not a lack of care.Its interesting to consider now do people show indifference because they really just don’t care or is it to prevent being hurt anymore…or perhaps both!!
Hi, I really like your points. I am in similar situation as you described in your ex-marriage, but I’m very stuck, I don’t know how to move forward. I am very much in God and that I should never give up and leave, but I really don’t know what to do. I am in so much pain and my hurt is so bitter all the time.
What was the trigger that finally made you us decide to seperate?? Were there mentally abuse in the end of absolutely just no communication or feelings any more??
thanks for all your advise in advance.
Florence, you got it. Me, 29 years of marriage, 3 kids, one drug-addict, other two fine. I think that I used my wife to bring my kids. Barely I have lived with her from 7 to 9 years. Other time traveling and finding ways to be far from her, but responsible with my economic obligations. Now I try to live together, it is to cold for me, for her, she is still in love for me. For my drug-addict son I take the challenge to live with her. I am finding the way to kill the indifference.
it’s a myth that people date and marry people that they’re “into.” in reality they date and even marry people they are indifferent to (and sometimes dont even like or respect.they may even be AFRAID of them).most people date and marry people that they can USE.they dont date and marry people that they’re “into.”
what to do if one is indifferent most of the time but the other’s not??????
Indifference comes after years of fighting for a great relationship only to find your spouse so selfish, irresponsible, and disrespectful that you finally just give up trying.