I have noticed that for most of my life I have felt this strong desire, almost a need at times, for those around me to understand what I am going through. This happens particularly with those I am closest to and particularly given certain situations.
For example, if I am going through a challenge, I want a loved one to understand to some degree what it feels like. I tend to believe that if I explain something very well, I can enable them to grasp what is going on.
The problem is that I am not always able to make someone else understand. And if I get them to, I notice the topic comes up again in a couple weeks and I find myself having to start over, this time much more frustrated that they are just not listening.
We all have different reasons for wanting to be understood. But many of them are similar. And so I share my own situation because I know that many others feel the way I have. For me, I realize that the one big reason I have wanted others to understand me is I wanted approval and validation. I wanted a sense that they don’t blame me for what I am experiencing, they know that it is typical (as I know it is), they fully accept it and they still think well of me.
Simply, I have had a need for approval.
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