This guest article from YourTango was written by Dr. Erica Goodstone.
Did you know that 99% of men cheat in America — and the other 1% cheat overseas?
That is a joke, of course, which highly overestimates the percentage of men that cheat. “It is estimated that roughly 30% to 60% of all married individuals (in the United States) will engage in infidelity at some point during their marriage … Men are more likely than women to cheat. But, as women become more financially independent, women are starting to act more like men with respect to infidelity.”
We have probably all heard the statement that men tend to cheat just for sex and women cheat for emotional connection. I believe that both men and women cheat for similar reasons. Many men, and now almost as many women, spend more hours at work than at home.
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Actually, the primary reason a person cheats is to make him/herself feel better because:
A. S/he feels subordinate in the relationship.
Or
B. S/he feels neglected.
Actually you are forgetting a few…
C. Sexual incompatibility (in level of desire or sexual issues with one or both partners).
D. Severe disabilities where the disabled partner is not able to have sex.
E. Some combination of the reasons.
Your joke doesn’t just overestimate percentages it underestimates the intense pain and devastation cheating causes. Personally I didn’t get past the ‘joke’. Maybe the rest of the article takes the subject more seriously but you lost me in the first paragraph. If you want people to be interested in what you have to say you might want to start by not alienating the very people who have been affected by this issue.
Men cheat because of an internal conflict they want to run away from … It’s usually never becuase of the relationship. Cheating does cause you to magnify the issues of a relationship though, which is why marriages that survive affairs flourish.
You have to try testmytrust.com ! It is a service I used in order to keep my own stresses in check. Come on all of these people just throwing stones.. we all know how it is to feel doubt.. even if he is not doing anything wrong, at least some of us can admit it. Honestly, I used to worry about where my boyfriend was all the time. Wonder if he was honest and committed to me. But after hiring testmytrust, I got to see that he tells everyone he meets about me right away when he meets them! I was able to be a fly on the wall and just see how he was when I wasn’t around. I have never been more secure and happy in a relationship as I am knowing what I know now. Thank you testmytrust!! I let them know just how much it helped me. I don’t think that everytime we girls worrythat there is a man doing something slimy, but sometimes even finding out for sure is all we really need… it was in my case!
Men don’t just cheat because their partner isn’t giving them enough.
Sometimes, their partners can be giving them everything in the world, thinking nothing is wrong at have all of that come crashing down on you.
Sometimes men just do this because they CAN…
Because they WANT to, because they have boundaries they are unable to maintain…
And because they lack the respect for themselves to maintain these boundaries and the commitments they made…
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