When the economy — or a company’s business — goes south, the quickest way a company can chop its costs is by laying off its employees. …
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When you said losing a job is right up there with losing a loved one…I remembered what it was like when I was laid off. The grief (and anger) was quite similar. So much feeling and no where to put it. Talking with friends who had “been there” really helped.
Your seven ways to cope are all good. I would only add that when our ego is vulnerable the short term comfort we find in alcohol or food can turn dangerously against us. Instead of hitting the bars I hit the road and started running. It really helped.
All good information. However, I would add that job seekers learn where the nearest One Stop Career Center is that provides a variety of free resources. One Stop Career Centers have online job search capabilities, some training funds, assistance with resume writing and interviewing skills just to name a few services.
I got canned in mid Oct. I was a web developer. The boss just call me into his office, said here your roe and severance pay and “get lost” (not literally but it felt like it). I work for this particular company for 3 years. I was devastated. Now 3 months later my job outlook is bleaker now than it was 2 months ago. I was one of those people who had no life outside of work, work was my life. Now I feel lonely, depressed, isolated and hopeless. I took my layoff very personally getting canned IS personal; no matter other will tell you. I was pessimistic before getting canned, why stop now? Sure my ex-boss gave me a glowing recommendation, but I think that such things are just a lot of BS. If I was so great why did they can me in the first place? As for my future “career” I have one question, what career? My job didn’t have any health benefits so that is irrelevant.
Nearly all of the job posting in IT have dried up, those that are posting I do not qualified for. Other people that I know seem to think because I have a college education and I work in “Computers” that I don’t need any help getting work, because I can work anywhere. Nowhere is more like it!
I am sick of sending out resumes it is pointless!
“Believe in yourself, because if you don’t, others will have an even more difficult time believing in you.”
So you’re saying I’m screwed? That’s what I thought. I am screwed. I am also sick of resume, references, interviews, and all the other BS that goes with it.
I give up, period.
Wayne,
Mate,you can come through this. Go to http://www.iambackfromthebrink.com
It’s our ruminations about ourselves that eat us up (and some of us, including myself, are expert “ruminators”!). See if one of your local volunteer groups wants your IT expertise, visit local pastors and charities, tell them to pass the message on to other charities who may need you. Sure you are not earning any extra money but you are not doing that sitting at home either. Also by being out there you may make a friend or meet “someone who knows somebody” who needs an employee like you. When you are at home, learn something new eg research veganism, how to grow planterbox veges, Arabic, history of the Vikings, lifestyles of the Mongolians, ice sculpturing, plumbing difficulties for urban planners, a different style of music,meditation and yoga, boat building – the world is your oyster (not that I ever really understood that saying)
Nice
Hi Wayne, i agree with Jez, you can come through this, it may take a little time, but in the meantime this seems to be very sound advice from Jez. I wish you the very best in your future.
Nice tips. I think with a little hard work and determination, people who got laid off can easily find a job again. Positive thinking and a little push from savings and grants can either kickstart a business or pave the way for a well-paying job.
Hey Dr. Grohol,
Great article about coping methods! I really liked some of your points so I wrote about them on my blog for people who have been laid off:
http://laidoffnation.com/2009/02/coping-with-a-layoff/
Unemployment stinks. The rates in my area are at 12% and everyone is worried about their job right now. I might suggest that when you’re evaluating your resume you pay special attention to references… there are even reference checking companies to make sure you’re getting positive comments. Every little bit helps in this economy. I’ve heard good things about reference-check.com and allisontaylor.com. Good luck everybody.
I lost my job three months ago as well as my niece. She told me about Angel Ministries in my area that you may purhchase food packages at a great discount. In short, you purchase a “package” for approx. $35.00 and you also have extra’s you can purchase with it if you desire. The food is great! You might want to check it out. http://www.angelministries.com.
Yes, unemployment stinks especially when you live in the area with the highest unemployment rate in the country. At the age of 54, I am changing careers!
Good luck to everyone!
Indiana
All seven points are good ones. Wish I had them available 4 mths. ago. I too got laid off in Oct. with no warning. We were raised to believe that there are certain fields you choose for your career that you “will always be able to find a job in”. Healthcare and Teaching were two of those. I have been a certified Radiologist Technologist for 11 years. The job market is being flooded by the local Community College accepting three times the amount of students for each class now than they did 10 years ago. This is not only keeping techs like myself out of work, it is blindsiding these kids who are graduating now after two hard years of college only to find there is nothing out there for them.
Also, our local Career Center has been closed down and those people laid off also! Those resources that helped a great deal like faxing resumes, copying, and for those that needed it, computer access are gone. Times are indeed hard for us all. Depression,anger,grief – all these emotions are very real. Giving up however is not an option for me. It took a long while but I have decided I’ll get thru this and my prayers are with all of you who are in the same situation. I agree that volunteer work is better than sitting and feeling alone and sorry for yourself.
There are thousands of us in this boat and if we all pray for each other and our nation and put our faith back in God where it belongs He will not let us down.
What a wonderful mindset! and great words of encouragement. I started a career ‘change’ in October, resigned my old job and worked out my notice just to discover that with the ecnomic crunch my new career start date has been delayed. Not ‘laid-off’ but much like it.My start date has now been delayed, again (Third time) and I am an ARNP. I have discovered a rescourcefulnees and creativity that I had forgotten and learned to enjoy the simple things. My kids and I have rediscovered our old family game nights and cooking togther. This has in many ways been a blessing in disguise. I hope others can find new meaning in their everyday lives as I have.
I had my second experience with ‘business decision’ and as a result am no longer workiing after 14 years with this past company. This was a welcome break for me as I felt burnt-out. I am certainly taking my time looking at my options with the possibility of creating an online business in marketing Personal Development products.
I am also being flexible in my job search as I am gradually preparing for this exercize.
Thanks for the tips on Coping.
Sorry… but,
The pain of being laid off, was never akin to the Death of my Dad or Mother.
People just don’t seem to care anymore. All of the people I speak with about this, feel the same way.
Jesus Saves!!!
For those with careers in healthcare – Iowa
still has a shortage of workers. So if you were willing to relocate, those jobs can be found here.
It’s just hard. Applying for all these jobs you know you are qualified for and getting no interviews. I am a single mother and am worried what is going to happen when unemployment runs out?
This was a great article and really encapsulated the lay-off experience for me.
For Wayne, remember that to date 599.999 others have been laid off in the US. Sadly, it’s IMPERSONAL rather than personal; but a companies’ bottom line trumps all. It’s been said, if you can’t change your circumstances, change your ATTITUDE. These are really hard times but don’t give up – it’s the positive, confidence-exuding person that gets hired in the end. Keep trying and in the meantime, doing some volunteer work helping others can be a wonderfully rewarding outlet for you and others. Good luck everyone!
I lost my job in August. I have no clue why, to this day, nothing I did or didn’t do they said. It made no sense. It hurt when I found out they put an Executive Secretary into my position as she had no experience and I have 20 yrs. She was suppose to be my friend, so getting screwed by her as well has made the whole thing worse.
I keep looking, have had a few interviews but nothing yet. I am worried, scared and have no one to turn too, my family can only so much. Hopefully the unemployment will last thru all of this or will be living in a cardboard box.
I am a reading specialist with an MEd and I am ABD on my doctorate in adolescent literacy. My job was “eliminated” back in December as a budget cut in a private school. I am luckier than most, because my employer is paying me until August and providing benefits. But most schools ar enot positing vacancies yet and I need to finish my dissertation before I move into a college position. Also, my husband is disabled so I provide the medical coverage tne the primary income.
I am praying my way through this. God will not allow us to sink! My initial reaction was to blame myself. But having talked to some colleagues and tackled some interviews, I am convinced that I am great at what I do. I believe that I will land somewhere else where my skills will be put to good use.
We all need to pray for our country and each other.
Linda
We have been told at my place of employment that we are to be sold sometime during the first quarter of this year. We all feel sure that the new buyer will bring in their own people in many of the departments within our company. As to be expected, everyone is anxious about the not knowing what is going to happen to us but we just keep on plugging and showing up for work everyday.
The stress of looking for a job and worrying about paying the bills can sometimes be over whelming. I have been in this situation before but I have found that to get back into the job market, you have to be diligent in your job search and look for a job every day, not just one day a week. I was laid off from the job I have now and because I refused to just lay down and give up, I found my current job in only five weeks. Plus, the benefits and pay are much better than the job I had before. Wayne, don’t give up. Your profession will always be in demand although at this time some companies are afraid to do any hiring until they see what is going to happen to their company with the situation the way it is. Keep your chin up and stay positive. Your new job is right around the corner.
Good luck to you all. I was forced to resign with a few months of benefits and un-employment and now am paying $1,170.80 per month COBRA for my husband and myself because my husband has no benefits. My husband is disabled. I went to therapy and got help with dealing with this. My father was dying (I thought)at the same time. He is 93 years young and lives alone. My brothers and I had to come up with a solution to his living conditions. By the way, he is doing fine now.
I think he will live to 100! You are not alone in these troubled times but you have to get up every morning and keep on sending out those resumes and going on interviews and all that crap. I am 58 years young and if I can do it, you can too. I have been in this situation before.
I know that it stinks. But it could be worse.
You could live in another country where there is no government help. I think Americans are so spoiled with “wanting” everything and “wanting” it now. We don’t need all this stuff we have accumulated. I am a baby boomer and I have learned to live within our means and try not to buy things I don’t absolutely have to have and I don’t charge anything. We are actually meeting all of our bills and making it. You have to have faith in yourself!!!!! I lost it for a while but I got it back. Keep on keeping on. Volunteering is a great way to get back into the work force. I am considering it. I used to work for the food bank and I am going to call them and do some volunteer work to help me help someone else.
I got my last full paycheck end October. In november the company cut almost my entire salary for ‘sanctioned leaves.’ 10 days later I was asked to resign but didn’t…company is not even giving me a termination letter as they have 2 pay me 2 mnths salary..life is on hold..n guess what..i am in India where the Govt. doesnt bail u out although 30% of the salary goes into taxes! but i’ll survive..as i have lived a turbulent personal life for 16 years! All u guys who wrote here, thanks, I’m inspired! Bless us all! And lets keep the faith!
When you “get the information” try to get a copy of your job description, copies of your performance evaluation and references. You will be able to use the information when crafting your resume and during the interview process.
To get additional tips and learn ways to maximize your job loss go to http://www.arkcareercoaching.com and click on the tools tab and the resources tab.
Good luck and remember, when one door closes another opens and this can prove to be a wonderful event in your life in the long run.
Hello
Went thru layoff and other loss as well at the same time. This can be very frustrating but in the midst of all those losses, I really got closer to the Creator and I can say that I have been truly blessed ever since .. Satifaction etc although I actually got a job eight month later but I am a much better and mature person and I look at life differently. Leaning only on the only one who will grant u peace in this world full of turmoil. You actually understand all what is happenning around you better and you also learn that u can play your part in praying for one another and can counsel another person who may find themselves in a similar situation.
Hey thanks to everyone who wrote in, all your comments help to ease the anxiety I feel inside, I too am on the same boat of being “laid off” Moreover, I am also in the process of a divorce, and preparing to move to another state in few months. Many doors are closing and many more will be opening as well.
So life in general for most of us are full of ‘uncertainty’ which brings up fear if not terror for some. But as someone above has previously mentioned keep up the positive outlook on everything. And as Tony Robbins would say…”it’s all in the “meaning” you give to things” So here we can all wallow in self-pity, see ourselves victimized by it all, or we can say to ourselves…WHAT is the most empowering way I can help myself in dealing with the situation, HOW can I keep going and not give up, WHERE else can I change my ‘attitude’ on how I look at thing…half full or half empty?
And if all else fail…”CONTRIBUTE” Making contributions to other that are even less fortunate than we are is the best remedy to eliviate self-pity, self-consumption, and fear…when we give to other, somehow somewhere something will be return, it is The LAW of KARMA and The LAW of ATTRACTION.
Blessings and Best to you all
My dream job was eliminated in December- yes I have been through anger, grief, and disappointment. I expected this to happen because my spouse was deployed overseas and I was pregnant. The manager had told me when I needed my hours adjusted that the generous help of other fellow employees was running out. After my managers had brought me in to talk about my job elimination they reassured me that it wasn’t because of job performance, I laughed and asked the questions I needed to ask, in fact, I asked if it would be okay to go for a run at their facility after I was laid off. All of my managers friends are still employed there, so if I was a friend my situation may of been different? I have used my resources intelligently and have the contacts and references I need. I think this was a blessing in disguise, since now I’m at home with my children and can stay active still doing what I like, but at the same time I’m still really angry about my job loss because now the company is using my ideas and suggestions after I’m gone.
What do you do when you have been working for over 25 years with the government, receiving perfect appraisals, and in the middle of a divorce did something very stupid. I am on the last phase of finding out if I will be able to keep my job. Because of the job I do or (did), I was required to have a top scret clearance, if I lose it, my career is over. I’m in debt because of a drawn out divorce, have no savings, and no one to turn to if I needed a roof over my head. I pray and try to stay positive, but this has turned my whole world upside down. I didn’t kill anyone, rob, or harm anyone. I have never been in trouble before in my life, not even a parking ticket. I don’t have any excuses. I just wonder if I will ever work again. what would you do in my situation???
Just lost my job today. Looking at my emails that I didn’t have time to read before this. I came across this email with the 7 ways to cope with layoffs. Thank You this will be very helpful. I am just trying to get my emotions in order right now. As soon as I got home from being laid off, I immediatly signed up for unemployment so that when I receive my last check, the unemployment checks should start coming and I will not miss a week. I was thinking about going into a whole different carreer. I was doing health insurance and was not very happy with that. I guess it was God-send that this happened sort-of. Now I am going to try culunary and possibly open my own business. One step at a time and will see what is in store for my next adventure.
I think that most of us that have been laid off have gone through all the feelings described. The article is a good anchor and wise. We are so used to our work routine that it takes a while to realize the situation we are really in. First we are angry, then we panic, then we realize no one really can help us but ourselves. It is a great time to change our thinking about the importance of our work life and realize that it is not who we are. Stop listening to the bad news, volunteer, help someone else, play anyway. Spend time with the people you love…….you generally fall over opportunities daily…if your eyes are open and your energy positive they will become clear…
Life is too short not to even take this situation and turn it around to a positive. Weren’t we always saying how we needed some time out from work…well…
I lost my job in January. It was the second job loss I experienced in less than two years. I wasn’t really given a reason. It was a government job, but I had not yet passed the internship period. Another fear you have is that references will not continue to recommend you indefinitely. But I do believe that God is there and that with faith nothing is impossible no matter how bleak things may seem.
Both myself and husband are on unemployment. We have cut back and are into our retirement savings now. The state wont help us until ALL funds are exhausted including life insurance. I ma trying to keep my home from forclosure and keep bills paid but we are 3 months behind in some. I am depressed so isn’t he. Why isn’t there help for people like us who work hard then lose everything?
nice articles. I think freelancing are best option when layoff’s happen.
I am in the same boat like you…have been laid off 4 days ago…i agreed with wayne H regarding his frustration and anger…i am angry because first of all, all hard working good people who will always be chopped first from the list, for no reason….while others who like bitching all day long, doing nothing at work, doing plenty of mistake…these people their jobs are SAFE…why this injustice and selfishness…In this kind of world nowadays you have to fight for your piece of bread…I wonder why this happen to ME…Me too I am fedup of fighting, the more you strive nothing good happen, you donot see the end of the tunnel..
Josie,
I agree with your rant. I got laid off last week. Now I can’t say I was the best employee in our dept of some 50 people, however, I did not have any complaints, no problem during annual reviews, met all deadlines and was flexible to work in other areas and still got the notice.
I look back and see that I didn’t do much of shmoozing and socializing with my bosses and leads because I had work to do until the end of this year but was told to be replaced by someone out of work. Only to find out that there was no one and even my immediate supervisor (I was loaned to another dept) was puzzled and couldn’t believe.
Andre Agassi’s Canon commercial is right. Image is everything what you do or did don’t matter much. Be a laud mouth, smooth talker. If you are tall, thin, good looking, and lighter color, even better. Better appear to be good than work hard and well.
Now don’t tell I’m too much or prejudice. Out of 7 manager/leads in department, 6 were cacsian and 1 were mixed with casian. Non-cacasians made about a half of my dept just to let you know.
I sm laid off too. I am finding it very difficult to believe that this has happened to me. I am trying to survive this one step at a time.
The tips in the article are quite helpful.
I believe that this is a good time to go back to college, if you ever had any such plans. I want to do this.
Also, this is a good opportunity to try and get the kind of career you wanted – something you mght not have done if you were stuck with the current job you hated all along.
I have been laid off nearly 10 months. It is very hard to take care of my 2 children. I am trying so hard to keep my head up and to stay positive. Everyone keeps telling me things will get better. I feel like I have a really low self esteem right now. I am trying to exercise to stay positive and it does seem to help a little. Sometimes I feel like I’m the only person in the world who feels this way.
Getting laid off is really hard. It can effect your self esteem and your mood. If you feel that this is impacting your life, you should defenitely go to your doctor who may refer you to a psychologist or psychiatrist depending on what type of depression you have.
Great tips. Losing a job is never an easy thing. Thanks for sharing your feelings and experiences.
I’ve been laid off for two weeks now. I was told by my supervisor that he feels it will be short term, but in the past the company has told people that and they are still laid off. I do not believe I will be called back. My husband does have a great job and we can almost make it on his check, but I need to work. I can’t get on his health insurance unitl November which will then not take affect until January. Cobra is way too expensive. I hate getting up in the morning having nowhere to go. 18 years at the same place and then nothing is really scary. I haven’t rec’d my first Unemployment check yet but should soon. I’ve put my name in for some jobs but haven’t heard anything. I get depressed, scared and a feeling of doom quite a bit during the day. I cry a lot. This is probably the worse thing I’ve ever had to go through. I feel worthless and not good enough. This has really knocked down my self esteem. I’m trying to keep busy at home, but it still hurts. I am so worried.
Two weeks ago laid off from my job. Worked 23 years only job ever had started when I was 17. My husband still works for same company. Half of my life was this company. It was my family . The dedication,loyality and working hard being on time didn’t matter. What mattered to them was the money they were paying me needed to end. I did get a package and it should make me feel better.. Every morning I wake up I ask god to give me the strength to adjust to my new lifestyle until i find a job not going to work and not to feel sorry for myself because at least my husband still has a job. I have read all of your emails and my prayers are with each and everyone of you.
I am getting layed off, but I have been anticipating that this might happen, so I have been training for my “dream job”. It’s tough to resist being depressed. Best remedy for me is challenging physical activity, preferably outdoors. While you’re at it, be vocal – shout how awesome you are! You will succeed if you’re psyched. Nobody wants to hire anyone who’s depressed. Finally, realize that this economy is not an accident. Stop voting for people who want to eliminate the middle class!
Recently laid off from a company I gave 13 years of service to. I had a solid work history, was always honest and looked out for what was in the best interest of the company. I believed in the people who owned the company, always trusted their word that my job was secure. Then, unexpectedly, I’m called in to do inventory and was told my position is being terminated. No prior warning, never provided any notice that there was a problem. In the parking lot of the company I stood by for over ten years I’m suddenly let go / when this occurred I could no think straight / I was numb / could not believe what they wewre doing to me. I am now consumed with fear and anxiety – my world suddenly turned upside down. I feel people I trusted turned on me with no regard for how my wife would deall with adjusting to being unemployed. I’m approaching 50 – I’m scared what the future may bring – I lost my routine each morning, I am now home and feel like a prisioner in my house being that I have nowhere to go. It’s been nearly two weeks but the pain and confusion has not diminished – at times I break down being that I don’t understand why they did this to me – I was a dedicated employee. I have the opportunity to return to graduate school and complete a masters degree that I was working on years ago / this seems to be my only hope right now to change the direction of my life. I feel lost, cannot think clearly and pray to God that I will find my way thru this mess that I was cast into. The emotions that I’ve dealing with are intense – this will no doubt prove to be one the greatest transistions I was forced to deal with in my life. If there was a reason why I was let go I would probably be better able to accept and cope with what happened, instead, I did my best for the company and in the end what mattered most to the owners was simply money – my dedication, adherance to a strong work ethic, and a genuine commitment to the company meant nothing. I pray for all of you who have shared your thoughts on this forum – I understand the pain you are going thru – I pray we will all come thru this better of in the end. We need to support and encouage one another not to give up – but to move forward as best we can. This has paralized my thinking / there are so many questions I cannot answer as to how I was suddenly put into this position – I feel as though the ground beneath my feet has fallen away – I am groundless and feel my life right now has no direction.