I have a lot of trouble remembering people’s names. (My husband, on other hand, is freakily good at remembering names and faces — a very handy virtue in a spouse.)
Also, I often have trouble remembering why someone looks familiar. Several years ago, while at crowded birthday party for a three-year-old, I was on the brink of going over to some little kid’s father to say, “I think we went to college together.” Turns out it was Dylan McDermott!
So I’ve developed some strategies for coping with the fact that I’m not able to pull up a person’s name right away. Of course, you can always just say politely, “I’m sorry, I don’t recall your name,” but if you’d rather try to disguise your forgetfulness, give these tips a try.
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My method? I tell them, “I’m sorry, I can’t remember your name.” And when they say their name, I reply, “I meant your last name.”
I’ve had some success with “how do you spell your first name?”…but of course, the circumstances where this question would be appropriate are pretty limited!
BTW, Gretchen, you inadvertently helped to calm me down at the dentist today! I was all sorts of nervous in the dentist’s chair while waiting for him to walk in, and I was paging through Good Housekeeping (I think?) and planning how to write my next Psychcentral post about dental anxiety. Then, randomly, I saw one of your Happiness articles, got excited when I realized we write for the same website, and then my anxiety kinda fizzled out.
ha- i have utilized the one sided introduction dodge on several occassions.
every time i go to a particular gas station, a couple of times a year, this particular clerk is increasingly convinced we know each other. she always asks how we know each other, and asks my name again. i only know her from seeing her at her workplaces around the area, but she said last time– “GIRL! how are you doing!? how is your little boy?” she keeps trying to figure out how we know each other, but we don’t… i don’t have the heart to tell her now, and it is sort of sweet.
If you’re attending a party with a close friend, make a deal that if you don’t introduce someone to whom you are talking within a 5 count of your friend’s joining the conversation, then you’ve forgotten the 3rd party’s name and your friend will self-introduce (especially as a better alternative than looking at you and demanding “Aren’t you going to introduce me?”).