When researchers have a disagreement about what the research shows, most usually either submit a letter to the editor, or an editorial to the journal in question. Sometimes they’ll go one step further and even design an experiment to reproduce the effects of the previous …
Before posting, please read our blog moderation guidelines. The comments below begin with the oldest comments first. Click on the last comments page to jump to the most recent comments.
Before posting, please read our blog moderation guidelines.
Post a Comment:
Copyright © 1995-2013 Psych Central. All rights reserved.
Site last updated: 24 May 2013
|
Hi John,
I firmly believe that grief affects everyone in a unique and individual way.
We can only experience our own grief and offer empathy to others through support and a safe place to explore their life adjustments and venting their emotional responses: As we all know; anger, guilt, blame, shame, acceptance are all major factors in the process of grieving and there are no hard and fast rules. Also there is a natural 12 month period of adjustments; the first anniversaries are experienced during this time.
Thank you.
Regards
Dawn Pugh
http://www.dawnpugh.com
My friend Maria Housden — who wrote a wonderful book called Hannah’s Gift, about losing her 3-year-old daughter to cancer — always reminds me that grief shares the same etymological root as gravity and gravitas. This implies that grief is an energy with a weight and a heft; a force that we can learn to use for authenticity, deepening, and strength. It matters less whether we view it in stages, pounds, months, or phases, than that we learn to see and use grief as a diving rod for locating the true and the beautiful in our own lives; a reminder that we are fragile, temporary, and connected to others; an artery of communication with other people who’ve lost and grieved. To argue over semantics (stages? phases? chapters?) seems to me to be missing the point — or missing the LARGER point, which is to do with how grief changes and instructs us, leaves us feeling like different people; how we evolve through so called catastophe into larger, more loving people. At least that’s my interest in the subject. Thanks so much for the conversation.
Mark Matousek
author of WHEN YOURE FALLING, DIVE
I came across your article while web surfing and felt like I need to say a few words. I lost my son 2 1/2 years ago. As I write that fact, I can honestly say it might as well have been yesterday. Time has lost all meaning. Yearning and disbelieving will not never decline within the time frames suggested, in fact it is arguable yearning and disbelieving may never be resolved. And definetly Acceptance will never occur. As long as I am living I will never stop yearning, disbelieving and accept the death of my child. How then do I live? I cope, I conceal my feelings so society does not shun me, I exist for my other children and husband, I do what I have to do. Never forgetting for a minute my son and longing to be with him or to have my life back like it was. So in my humble opinion, stop your hypotheses debates and talk to those of us that have lost a child.=not a parent,sister, grandmother, or dog.
Lisette Perez