One of the main themes of my happiness project is marriage. For me, as with many people, my marriage is one of the most central elements in my life, my home, and my happiness.
When I started my happiness project, and I reflected about the changes I wanted to make, I realized I had five particular problem areas in my marriage.
Here they are, along with the strategies I try to use to address them, though they often-times remain challenging for me.
Oh, how I crave appreciation and recognition! I always want that gold star stuck to my homework. But my husband just isn’t very good at handing out gold stars, and that makes me feel angry and unappreciated.
Before posting, please read our blog moderation guidelines. The comments below begin with the oldest comments first. Click on the last comments page to jump to the most recent comments.
Before posting, please read our blog moderation guidelines.
Post a Comment:
Copyright © 1995-2013 Psych Central. All rights reserved.
Site last updated: 21 May 2013
|
Very Interesting points here & well worth in being mindful within ones relationship.
I couldn’t agree more with how we often treat our love ones with less consideration than other people…
As for what iv learnt, being less reliant on another, remaining independent & yes acknowledging your own achievements rather than require this from another…
I’m now divorced & iv done some growing up over the past few years…
I was in an abusive relationship which added to undermining my already lack of confidence & contributed to need for reliance & diminished my independence.
Now I’m rebuilding my self worth, self respect and my independence…
Its been tough but I’m proud of my growth from where I once was to now…
I know no matter what man if any walks into my life & wishes to stay, il never go back to needing them as much as I did the X.
I’m my own woman now in my own right & I’m ok.
A lesson I needed to learn..
Great article! The biggest mistake I make is not taking time for self-care. I find myself getting very resentful of my hubby when I’m not filling my emotional, spiritual, mental and physcial self-care needs. One of my favorite books is “The Mother’s Guide to Self-Renewal” by Renee Trudeau and although I love a lot of marriage books out there, this one has made a big impact in our marriage b/c I’m taking care of my needs rather than feeling “I’m not worth it” or expecting others to fulfill my needs. I love your examples in #1.
Loved all the ways you showed how you deal with the things that bother you. A complaint is an opportunity to create a solution, and you point out a very basic one when you talk about treating your husband as civilly as you would someone at work or at the grocery store. If we become customers of each other, we will create a wonderful environment for our love to grow. It makes us want to come home to each other. My husband and I had the score-keeping discussion, and it really is worth timing how long your chores take to help re-frame the picture of work at home. I’d rather get the chores done, thank each other for what we each contributed and then go to the movies together and share a big bag of popcorn!