Well, maybe not kill you, but it can definitely negatively impact your health.
Last week, we reported on how loneliness can actually harm your health. We’ve long known how couples seem to enjoy a health advantage over those who are single. But those …
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Site last updated: 20 May 2013
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If it weren’t for my best friend Cricket, I would not be alive today. I know that if left to my own devices, I’d been dead from suicide, or worse.
I love your site and blog, so I’ve given you an award, which you can see at my blog. Keep up your wonderful work. It must help countless people who would otherwise suffer alone.
Dano
People need to develop outside interests and activities long before they retire. The idea that once a person retires they will learn to play golf, get involved in community affairs or doing all kinds of things they never did before, does not work out.
If a person’s job has been their life and involvement with children and grand children a top priority, there will not be productive habits developed earlier in life.
I am seventy-five and paying a price for living an isolated life with little or no acitivy outside of my homelife…..
Loneliness? I think if I weren’t allowed to have my “aren’t you lonely?” stretches of time alone, to myself, shared with no one else…that would kill me.
My sons are teenagers now and I’m quite lonely. I’m also mentally ill. If I can get my 14-year-old to spend even 5 minutes a day with me, I can get by, but when both boys are gone and I don’t see them for a weekend, I’m soon a wreck. I have no friends and won’t ever have another one because of abandonment “issues” so this problem is unlikely to go away.
I felt most lonely when I was in a relationship and not getting my needs met. Being alone makes me feel free and peaceful.
To Jude
Up until 2 years ago, I had no friends either because I too had abandonment issues. Then I suffered a fall and my neighbors and members of my church showed me great concern, brought in some meals and kept checking on me. My husband also proved that he would care for me and not abandon me. Sometimes having something bsd happen can be a blessing in disguise. I learned that the people who let me down were among the minority of people.
My best to you.
Really? Wow…This article was interesting. I think before I was lonely, but now I suppose I enjoy it…I wonder if it is still bad for my health? lol
IHave friends, but due to circumstances I live under, I barely get to see any of them for any length of time. So, yes I am lonely, and Yes it physically and mentally hurts me. I hate it. Then again, there are also alot of other mental/emotional issues I have, mostly dealing with my warped and twisted past.
Loneliness can kill you. I’m not a doctor but from my own life and others I’ve known, if you feel lonely and depressed enough about yourself/your life for enough years and feel there is nothing you can do and figure noone can help you, you will want to die. It’s always simple solutions to our troubles but most times, solutions never come. I used to say, “with all the women in the world, why can’t I find one right for me”? You can do your best and think it over for years and never come up with an answer. Some people have it better, some have it worse. Life ain’t always what you make it, sometimes life makes you. The bottom line is, none of us asked to be here.
im young and i am lonely and i have no friends im socialy and physicly depressed i try asking family for help but they dont listen or dont understand exept 1 person and iv already selfharmed i just feel like the worlds against me. in my opinion lonlyness does get to you pluss if your my age and your in your school years getting bullyed it can incourige the risk of lonelyness and you just cant heal from it. i get bullyed alot iv had broken bones and all sorts and im on the edge pluss if you have been dumped or something like that by someone you loved your hole life or they have passed away ect dont let it get to you remain strong go out and you mite find someone but im to young but i hope it never happens to anyone else.
my cousin knows im depressed and so does a few teachers iv tryed starving my self but my cousin and teachers managed to talk me around after that it got serious and my parents got involved but my dad thinks its all drama and me acting for atention thats what most people will think until it gets serious but lonelyness can kill but it depends on how stronly you feel about the suituation. hope nowone is lonely they have someone to talk to for me i got my cousin and thats all all the best to you all
I kicked another selfish liar out of my home, but this one existed 7 years in my life. Not even a long relationship can salvage me. I am not afraid of life or death, I was not sad by the breakup, but now I am finished and will be alone for the rest of my life. Three girls followed me home a few nights ago, but who cares, I asked for their number, they didn’t want to give it, I gave them mine, they won’t call. All I can do is work out and keep losing weight and watch sports and play video games so I can live
lonlyness, hmm, EVERYTHING is based on perspective, by that i mean if you think that you are lonley, therefore you will feel lonley, just as if you think you are not good enough, to this, not enough of that, you will ultamitly feel that way. Some the sound of the fridge is way too loud, so if i can hear the fridge and it starts to get on my nervs, then i must be lonley huh? lol. i dont know i just really believe that the way you think(your outlook)really impacts you, dont think lonley, get a cat, seriousley, cats help, believe me, studies show that old ppl that have cats live lonnger
I have never felt lonely once in my entire life. Alone, yes, but never lonely.
niki is a moron.
We should look at the term ‘loneliness’ and define it more clearly. To some, simply being solitary qualifies as loneliness, while others like myself look at solitude as a blessing. In a similar vein, being married or in a committed relationship is no panacea for loneliness; I have done both, and feeling unrequited within that dynamic hurts acutely more than being solitary and feeling lonely.
I don’t buy into the notion that one necessarily needs to go out and cure lonely feelings by seeking company. I think that it sometimes is more helpful and more healthy if one can simply recognize it for what it is, and ultimately embrace it.
Loneliness doesn’t kill. States of mind kill.
I WOULD LOVE TO COMMUNICATE AND SEE HOW OTHERS ARE DEALING WITH BEING ALONE IN A POSITIVE MANNER. BEING ALONE DOES NOT ALWAYS MEAN LONELINESS.
This is something im dealing with right now. my wife left me and abandoned me in november of last year around thanks giving. Then in march of this year i lost my father to a massive heart attack. and finally this recently witch was the hardest i lost my mother to pulmanory fibrosis. I feel like ive lost everyone. my wife is not there for me for emotional support from loosing both parents so close. Yes i am suffering from lonelyness. and that hurts so much more then all the losses put together. There is a feeling like my heart is bleeding. from the pain i am experiencing. and it seems where i live in Ny no one really cares. i really dont know how long i can hold on. I just hope that if anything good comes out of all of this i hope it comes. before it comes to take me away too.
To William Sanders. Dear William. I just read your post and I’d like to know if you’re still reading these blogs. If you are, please respond to this one and I’ll write back to you with my experiences. You sound very depressed and I’d like to offer you some support if you’d like. Thanks.
I’ve felt alone all my life. I once felt like I was special when I was a little girl, but when my brother was born, I no longer received attention. It’s as though everyone I love at some point leaves me in some way. My daddy wasn’t there for me, and I wish so bad he would’ve been in my life because I know I’ve had some “daddy issues” which has affected my relationships in some shape/form. I got very attached to my children (2 boys) and poured all my love into them. Now they’re grown and don’t spend much time with me. I almost felt like the rug was pulled from underneath my feet when they grew up, not knowing what to do with myself. It’s been very difficult trying to find a loving, decent, respectable man these days. So, therefore I find myself alone. Sometimes I deal with it ok, but other times I pray and long for a partner. It’s no fun being alone. That’s why God made Adam a woman, because all of what he had prior to Eve wasn’t enough. Oh well, at least it feels good just to get these feeling out. Thanks.
I often times feeling lonely too well I feel it a lot. There is a big difference in my opinion from being alone and lonely. I have people around me every day like family. I have always fought to have friends in my life but it seems no one wants to be my friend these days. My last friend I helped out so much and was always there for but now that I need them they are always to damn busy but when they need me I am always there. I have been told I am a really good person and friend but I am stuck in these one way friendships where I give and give but no one even calls to say hi or see how I am doing. Last night for example I was watching my sisters’ kids the youngest got in trouble he wouldn’t eat his dinner because I made it, and he told my sister’s husband that I told him she was going on a date with someone. I live with them too she asked me to move in to help with the kids. The youngest ran away last night after I sent him to his room for talking back and being dis respectful and making up lies. I panicked he is only 10 I went nuts looking for him. They only ones who came to help were my parents not even my sister or her husband they were busy with friends. My sister just asked if I was ok and even defended the boy saying he was probably feeling picked on ok this is a kid who gets tags majority of the week at school is teacher is always at tears when she talks about how he acts up so he gets in trouble because it is his fault no one elses. I called a few friends no one could talk or come bye they just acted like things were normal but my neigbor who helped a lot had to make me breath I was so upset. My parents cared of course but it would have been nice to have a friend I could lean on. I have no one here in this world. I am lonely and it is breaking my heart I know people die of broken hearts. I do have a wonderful savior God is always with me but he understands what I mean he never made us to be lonely. You can have thousands of people around making you not alone but when not one person can take time to be your friend that makes things lonely. I am still a little upset about no one being there after things calmed down and the fact their parents didn’t come home. Life seems to such when all you see every day is yourself and the only person you can have a conversation with is yourself the only one who wipes your tears away is yourself. Loneliness brings me tears almost every day of the weak now my heart hurts from pain I cry out for people to be around but no one hears me. I even try to plan little get togetheres but never works. One new years I threw a big party had expensive meat like trip tip and lots of fancy drinks and beer for everyone to come only two or three people came out of the 20 I invited. This is how my parties always are it sucks and the people I invited only came so they can meet and have sex and do drugs not for me. I sat alone that year like always but the it is worse to be alone when you invite people and no one shows up.
I wish more and more studies would be done on the effects of loneliness. I was done a disservice by the mental health community because three different counsellors wanted to focus on my alcohol use rather than the real problem, which was loneliness. I drank to have a reason to be out in public among people and be less inhibited to interact with strangers. I also hooked up with a lot of losers because of loneliness. My life changed completely after meeting my fiance four years ago, and alcohol has not been a problem since. I think a good friend would have had the same effect on my alcohol abuse but the romantic relationship came first.
I stumbled across this site. I am 35 yr old single, never married female. Used to be so fun and social. Couple yrs ago, every single friend I had abandoned me. The worst was my best friend who literally saved my life in 2003. they all just walked away with no explanation. My parents are judgemental and would never fully understand how im feeling. My sister isn’t avail much. I live alone and 3000 miles from fam. I am not close to my fam or anyone now and only have my dog and 3 cats. i do manage to hold down a full time job, but im self medicating to hold on and i never thought my life would come to this. if this is how life is, i don’t want to be part of it. would just like someone to care unconditionally, but that’s not the case. tried therapy, online groups, anti-depressants. im happiest when i feel like ive got someone who loves me for ME. they always seem to either die or abandon me. feel like im wasting my life away.
I am a 63 year old single, never married, no kids, estranged from family and have lived alone 95%of my life. I have never been in love and am not sure I am even able to. It is the most terrible feeling in the World. People have always thought that I was always independent and could handle anything.I do not feel like that at all.