For an optimal learning experience, is it better for school-age twins to remain together in the same classroom, or go their separate ways? Who should make this decision, schools or parents? The Massachusetts state Senate is currently considering a bill that will give parents full …

15 Comments to
Should Twins Always Be Separated in the Classroom?

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  1. The problem is that some schools refuse to consult or consider a parents input into this decision. They take a one size fits all approach which is totally inappropriate.

  2. As a twin myself, I don’t think it should be up to the parents or the school. Ultimately, it should be up to the twins. No one can really tell how up to seperation or being together the two children are. If they want to be appart, putting them together may cause resentment; a feeling of anger that they can’t be the little individuals that they hope to be. And, as mentioned above, forced seperation can be devastating.

    But then there is the possibility that one wants to stay together and the other wants to be seperated. This would be a vevery hard situation for the parents, though probably to be expected.

    Also, though there could be the fear that the dominant twin would do the talking for the more submissive twin, there is a problem of the more submissive twin shutting down. There is a problem of shyness that might only be coped with by the sibling being there, building some confidence. The child may allways be a little shy, but it doesn’t do any permanent damage. I assure you, by experience. I’ve turned out pretty well, I’d say.

    • Hello I have twin girls 8yrs old 2 nd grade new school. Going into 3rd the are recommending to split them. As a twin yourself tell me social and school has there been a difference. I am tossed about this the are both good kids , good grades never a problem not competive towards each other. All there teachers in the past have always said it was like them not even knowing each other. WHAT TO DO THANK YOU. FOR ANY ADVISE

  3. I have twins, and am leaning towards a trial seperation of class rooms. No matter if this decision is right or wrong; the idea that a gradeschool age child can make this decision is ludicris. Should we also turn over other important decisions ? bedtime, candy and unhealthy food rations…..etc.
    A child will pick whats comfortable generally not whats best.

  4. Heh, so children can’t make decisions for themselves. In my opinion, at that young age, being thrust into a new environment of school, very little will be “comfortable”. Will it damage the child to put them in the same class, or to seperate them? I admit you can’t give them a say about EVERYTHING but giving them some decision will not only give them more confidence. They don’t have to rely on you for everything. Things that will make them healthy or unhealthy are up to the parent, but other choices should be up to them.

    Either way has it’s advantages and disadvantages.

    I hope I didn’t disrespect you in anyway, tc. If I did, I apologize. But, ask your kids what they want. If it’s not working, then you will all learn from that decision. If it does, then it is one step towards independence for your young little adults-to-be.

  5. I am a parent of twins and I am just begining to research if my boys should be seperated when they start kindergarten. I do not want them to be…but I’m trying to keep an open mind. I feel that they should have time to create and learn about the very special bond between them during elementry school. When they get to junior high they will have opportunities to choose classes, and or doing more together or apart. Having a twin is a gift and I believe there is a reason they have been put together and I think they need time to learn about that bond.
    If you know of any sites, or books that will help me in my research please email me at
    amber_djezd@hotmail.com

    Thank you. ~

  6. I am a twin. It is wrong to seperate any loving relationship period. We get caught up in wrecking anything people may enjoy out of predjudice. The worst thing you could possibly do is take a very special bond and ruin it in any way. I have twins, one boy and one girl, they are amazing together. I consider myself an expert, I am a twin and I have twins. It is a special bond that non twin know nothing about. Why should a non twin dictate what is best for my twins, oh from reading some sort of book writen by an non twin, lol.

  7. I am a twin and I can tell you the danger of having twins together in a classroom is not that one is more dominant than the other: it’s the competition. Having twins measure themselves against the same set of standards causes them to replace the standards with each other – they are only a good student if they are better than their twin. It continues until they reach a point where they are no longer in a similar environment – normally once they reach college. They should always be separated because putting them together creates an inferiority complex in both.

  8. Hello, we are twins and we feel that twins should get the decision as to whether or not they should be together. Spliting them up can have a deleterious effect on one. It amazing to us how people that are not twins have so much to say. We don’t care if you are a scientist, teachers or anyone that thinks they know twins . We are speaking from a position that should be up held. It’s bad enough that they are compared constantly, and outcast; ask unseemingly questions like, Do you share the same boyfriend?or is one smarter than the other? and even after they get to a place that suppose to be encouraging and supportive their made to feel as through their bond cannot be seen. It’s not right to make people feel as through their personal lives have to change because someone is not the same. The fact that a teacher would say individualism is what their pushing for and criticize twins for both being smart is cruel and can be categorized as verbal and mental abuse. If want twins in different classes the least you can do is to make them feel that they are accepted and both loved.

  9. Here I am a year later and have found myself back on this same web page. After a year of wondering if they should be together. My heart still leads me to the choice for my two boys to be together in the classroom. Altho – I’m trying to convince my husband into homeschooling. I’ve always said it and I’ll say it again – - – SCHOOL SUCKS! Am I supposed to send them so they can be socialized, and not outcasts??? OR am I sending them so they can learn from other kids how to be sneaky, lie, hit, swear… to me school is like cartoon network commercials – you’d rather your kids just didn’t see it! Can’t they get social skills from sports, scouts, church, family…? Wherever they go… my twins are sticking together!

  10. I have an adult set of naturally identical twin sons. I cannot tell you the hurt, rejection, anger,etc. they experienced separating my boys when they first started school. It ate away at them to the point where one of them became very sick. They are way too young to be separated when they have been aware of each other in the womb before birth and together since birth teaching each other new things and communicating. They learned from day one to take turns, to share, etc., whereas, the single birth children of their age did not have those social skills when introduced to society. What one did not think of the other did. They were and when together, are a team. I also trully believe that “home schooling” for all children is the best!!. It has been proven through studies that home schooled children are much more mature, quick minded, leaders, and much smarter than children who have grown up in the public school system with all the distractions through life. When they enter college, they do so much better and have a strong sense of self esteem. I wish they had allowed it when my children were young, or if they did, I wish I was aware of it in my busy life. Good luck. you are on the right track. Jan

  11. As an identical twin myself, I have experienced the issue. Our situation was none of what’s being described above. We were very close in kindergarten, and remianed in the same classroom up until grade 2. At that point teachers had noticed we were not socializing with others, and only kept to ourselves – which at this age, it isn’t healthy to not make any friends. We were seperated, and hated it, but it grew on us after a year apart. We have become individuals while still being very close. On the other hadn, our other friends, who had been together the whole time in school ended up being super dependant on each other and still are at teh age of 29. I really say it would depend on teh temperment of the children. I think it’s a good thing to try and make them have some autonomy, but if it proves too distressing at a young age, either try later, or else it will sort itself out in Jr. High, where classes – at least in Canada – will seperate them naturally.

  12. I am a twin. My mother is a twin and my twins are now 5. We enrolled them into kindergarten today requesting that they be allowed to stay together and i was told ‘NO’! I believe that it should be up to the parent(s) and the children if they want to stay together. I remember when the school seperated my sister and I and it was awful even in second grade! Unless someone has been in this situation they could not understand. My sister is my best friend then and now, as are my own girls. I am very unhappy and don’t know how to tell them without ruining their idea of how fun school is suppose to be. I shall be taking action by having their doctor, my sister, their grandmother, and anyone else I deem helpful write letters to the twins’ new principal.

  13. Simply put, I think that there is too much codependency within American families.And I think it reaches into the schools and classrooms. I think that parents should “leave their chilren at the door” and let school professionals do their jobs. One of the things that is strikingly alarming to me is how much parents disregard the idea that their children are part of a whole group in a classroom; that the teachers must consider the needs of this group and how it is effected by the family specific issues that parents present to the teacher. The codependency that twins introduce into a public learning situation is distracting… not just for the teacher , but for the other students and the said twins as well. Coming to school means growing up…becoming a whole person… exploring who you are away from home. It is up to the parent to prepare their twins for this before coming to school. There is ample opportunity to do so. Stop living with anxiety and watch your twins blossom.
    I am a teacher and a twin. Codependency was not a help for me. School lasts for six hours..home life is longer. Please, grow up America.

    • Wow!! I am mother of identical twins, daughter of a twin, great-granddaughter of a woman who had 3 sets of twins and a teacher. As a teacher, I know that all of my peers are not “professionals” when it comes to treating students with equity. I have been told by a teacher that my children should be separated because “nobody can tell them apart”. Hard to understand because the children refer to them by name and they have different friends….Coming to school does mean growing up, but part of growing up is realizing that not everyone knows what they are talking about. Everyone has there own path and the option shold be there….

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