Comments on
Three Is a Crowd

By Nadia Persun, PhD

Three Is a Crowd“Three is a crowd,” my husband told me when I shyly brought up the question of whether we should have more children.

Maybe it was the complicated nature of the question or just the wrong timing (dinner), but we managed to get into a long discussion that culminated in an argument. An hour overdue, banana bread in the oven interrupted us with its burnt smell.

I don’t even know if I want to have more children, but I have been plagued by the question the last few months. We have two.

They are at the age where I can forget about buying mountains of diapers, carrying ten pounds of baby paraphernalia anywhere I go and performing the never-ending gymnastics of helping my kids with every move they make. I am finally becoming just a tad more relaxed, relearning the joy of adult company, uninterrupted conversation and eating meals using both of my hands. After years of being homebound, we’ve taken some fun trips and vacations.

6 Comments to
Three Is a Crowd

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  1. I am the mother of one child. My husband and I chose to have only one child for many reasons, feeling like our resources were too limited to do justice in raising a larger family was not the only one. I have an excellent memory and felt no desire to let my body be overtaken from the inside out again, or to re-experience the pain of childbirth. That aside, over the years (our daughter is now 24), I have wondered if perhaps it was a mistake to not have a second child, because as we watched our parents age and finally die, I was sorry that she would have to go that journey alone, without a brother or a sister to lean on for comfort and old memories once we are gone. Water over the dam for me, but my guess is that she will have two.

  2. All you have written is true, but the bliss of another baby and having been one of three myself(my husband too) pushed us to decide in favor of having our third.

    She has enriched our lives exponentially and we’re so glad that we have been blessed with her presence. Even when she writes on the walls in pen.

  3. Three kids is an order of magnitude harder than two. If I had known how hard, I probably wouldn’t have done it. But now, I can’t imagine not having done it. Our youngest is such a joy. But getting through the first few years will test your marriage and your sanity.

  4. I sometimes envy people who have relatives around to babysit and help. We have no family around. So, having more than two would be logistically and financially so hard. From what I notice, many people who end up having bigger families end up with many blood related babysitters in the area…

  5. I definitely think I was born in the wrong era. I always wanted a large family and to “get back to our roots” of doing as much as we can ourselves. I am pretty old-fashioned and have always been fascinated with DIY especially once I realized how much money we typically spend on things that are luxuries or unnecessary. I make my own cleaners from common and inexpensive ingredients like vinegar and baking soda that work just as well and don’t damage the enviorment. I don’t use diapers, and I have had 7 children all of which are blessings to me.

    I have no extended family around to assist me with my children or chores. I don’t get “vacations” from them nor do I want to. An occasional cup of coffee and convo with a friend while our kiddies play give a great refresher to my spirit.

    I know, I am weird and as I said in the beginning I think I was born in the wrong era :o) I am not a super mom and I am far from perfect…just enjoy my children and life.

  6. It is such a personal decision and I think it boils down to “what feels right.” Of course when what feels right to one partner isn’t the same as what feels right to the other, you could have a problem. I always wanted a third child, but it took my husband almost four years to come to the same conclusion…..oh well, better late than never. Our children are now 26,22,and 18.

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