With each new sex scandal splashed across headlines, it’s become impossible to hide from the realities of marriage, i.e., monogamy is hard. And with so many high-profile persons seemingly shirking fidelity, it’s easier for couples unsatisfied in their relationship to start wondering if these cheating politicians just may have the right idea. It’s these concerns and questions that The New York Times Magazine took on when reaching out to leading sex-advice columnist, Dan Savage for their recent exploration of monogamy and marriage.
Savage tells the Times that many of us have a hard time admitting that being monogamous is difficult. He believes that when people treat monogamy as the sole indicator of a successul marriage, it casts unrealistic expectations for not only themselves but for their partners. In other words, monogamy just may be more of a romantic ideal than a reality.
All couples, according to Savage, should be honest about their sexual urges, even if they include having sex with other people, and openly discuss the drawbacks of monogamy. This includes, but isn’t limited to, non-monogamy. By being G.G.G—good, giving and game, i.e., skilled, generous and up for anything—couples can create a more realistic sexual ethic for themselves.
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