You’re on the couch and he’s in the bed, but neither of you is sleeping. After the heated argument over your summer vacation destination, he stomped angrily upstairs and you sit sobbing on the couch. He wants to go to camping with tents and backpacks and you want to stay at a resort by the ocean.

Arguments are part of every relationship, but how we respond to them is crucial. Our reaction to conflict or any stressful event is based on our life experiences and genetics. We all have those friends who are so laid back that nothing affects them and we also have friends who become frazzled over the smallest situations.

But to successfully manage conflict, we need to manage our stress first. If you cannot quickly calm yourself down, you will not be able to hear what your partner is really saying, so you will have difficulty resolving the disagreement.

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