Some mornings Theresa Daytner spends hours hiking. She also goes on trail rides, used to weight-lift twice a week with a trainer, reads nightly, watches her favorite TV show, enjoys massages, gets her hair done and planned a huge surprise birthday party for her husband, with people arriving from all over the country. And she sleeps at least seven hours a night.
Oh, and as journalist Laura Vanderkam writes in her book, 168 Hours: You Have More Time Than You Think, Daytner is busier than most. She’s the owner of a seven-figure revenue company and the mother of six children, including twins! She also coaches soccer and regularly attends her kids’ games, is helping her 21-year-old plan a wedding and is expanding her business.
I barely have time to clean my room, do one load of laundry, cook a meal, wash the dishes and complete my to-do list. And I work from home and don’t have a spouse or children.
So what’s Daytner’s secret?
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Hi
My name is Rosemary.
I am a single mother on welfare and just beginning my business after many years of struggle.
I’m finally about to start doing what I’ve always wanted to do.I make sure I exercise 3 times a week and meditate too as it helps me manage.
I get a lot of inspiration and am studying too, so at times I do feel overwhlemed as there is so much to do and so much I want to do.
I catch myself thinking how on earth am I going to manage all this, so I would love to have a copy of 168 hours.
Thanks Rosemary
This is brilliant! I know I’ve been wasting my time and I think I’ll download the spreadsheet to organize myself better…and spend less time on Facebook!
When is the draw?
As someone recently diagnosed with fibromyalgia and struggling to find the energy to do the things I truly enjoy and maintain a job that I love, I’m excited about this book review and HAVE to get my hands on this book!!
My husband and I both have Fibromyalgia. I had to retire because of it. My husband acquired it after he had to retire due to an on-the-job injury. This is NOT to say that you will have a severe case. I would recommend that you get someone else to do your housework, laundry and possibly even your grocery shopping. That’s great that you are employed!
I have trouble doing the small things that I know make me happier and more calm: like cleaning off counters before going to bed so I wake to a restful scene in the house. I know I spend too much time online, but I also do some of m best work on line, and find inspiration there too, so I wouldn’t want to walk away from the computer entirely.
I know if I just START, that is the catalyst. It hardly matters what task, as long as there is movement, there is progress. I want to read this book!
A great stream lined and merged application of Covey, Buckingham and Allen.
Great post. I think it all starts with Motivation. Once you have the motivation and drive to do it, you can use the tools described above to manage it.
The challenges I run into is that I have Bipolar II and so spurts of hypomania and downfalls of deep depression get in the way of my time management. While I try to pull through, some days I can accomplish 10 days worth of things and some days, its 10 days before I can accomplish 1 day worth of things. I will try these tips and see if any of them help. I already track my mood and my sleep habits so adding a few other things to track would be easy to do. I do outsource some things, such as having a cleaning lady once a week, however she is out the last few weeks due to surgery and now I may have to find a new one. Finding one that does a good job at an affordable rate is not always easy. But, with a 3,000 sq. ft. 4 story town home, its a lot of house for me to clean while working full time. At work, I am a litigation paralegal. I outsource certain tasks to others who are looking for work, however, many of the cases I work on, I am designated the only approved billing paralegal on the case and can not delegate. Having many cases like that can get overwhelming because I then have to bring a lot of work home to get it done. That cuts into my time doing household things, my writing for the website Ask A Bipolar, and spending time with my husband. In our office, however, many paralegals are finding they are not able to obtain work and will not be able to meet the annual billable hour goal. I am instructed by many of the attorneys on the cases to not give my work away which is good because it secures my job while others are in danger, but like I said before, can be draining because I have to being work home, don’t have time for other household things, or even things that I enjoy. My husband uses me as his outsourcee, so I spend my time battling with him telling him that he needs to find someone else to outsource to because I dont have the time, but most times that doesn’t work. So, I am in DIRE need of finding ways to get things done and have time for other things. I try to make the most effective use of my time, but am faiing miserably and that added stress then adds to my fluctuating moods due to my Bipolar. I definitely will be trying these tips though. I am willing to try ANYTHING to help get all my tasks accomplished and have a few minutes to breath easy!!!!!!!! Thank you for this article and for what I hope to be the start of me getting some pieces of my life back!!!!!!!
I am also Bipolar II and so is my husband. I are the one who fluctuates the most. We have a cleaning person every other week and someone to do four loads of laundry once a month. We are retired, so we are in a lower income bracket. It hurts to have to pay for housecleaning and laundry, but we also both have Fibromyalgia. My husband has the worse case. We each try to get the other to do things. There are no easy answers.
I just try to get too much done each day. I’m definitely going to try the spreadsheet idea and outsourcing.
Wow sounds very positive. I might give that a try when my energy levels rise a little.
Thankyou for sharing
I think I would like to try this (or tracking part). We do have someone come clean every 3 weeks, which has made life easier (and totally worth it) and try to keep meals simple (less prep time/less mess). What I would be concerned about is energy, i seem to be out of steam by the time the kids go to bed (or am really sore).
I tend to lose a lot of time and wonder where it went at the end of the day. I’d welcome ideas on how to get more quality time out of my days.
I am putting this book on my July reading list. It seems like a “must read” for today’s busy society. Looking forward to it.
Oh, Margarita ~
How I desperately needed this post right now. I don’t know where the time goes. I have so much to do and I’m always flitting about ~ all part of the hypomanic mind, I guess.
It’s hard to focus.
I’m going to try some of these, all eventually. But it will take so much time to implement some of these steps. I will do it. Trying doesn’t work. I’m now working out and finding the discipline of that infusing other realms of my life in a very positive way.
Thanks so much.
sln
This is wonderful. I always believed that I can fit whatever I want to fit in my life, unfortunately have not really been successful. It is inspiring to see that others manage to achieve it and I look forward to reading the book,
I have so many exciting goals and aspirations but by the end of the day all I seem to get done is the totally necessary stuff: work, cooking, cleaning, laundry, taking care of my 10 month old baby. (That last one is the fun part and what I look forward to the most every day!) I don’t spend any part of my day idle, I watch maybe a half hour of TV per day at the most, so I just don’t know where all the time goes! I would love to read this book because I know I could make better use of my time but just don’t know how or where to start. Outsourcing basic household tasks would be a nice luxury but we really don’t have any spare money in the budget for it. But I do like the idea of tracking my time on a spreadsheet and finding the gaps to use to pursue goals, have time for fun and relaxation, and more important endeavors.
Great post and very inspirational!
the title of this article attracted me. this sounds feasible. i do something to help myself that is like a budget, only with time, not money. at the bottom of a sheet i’ll write “7 pm guests arrive.” then at the top i write what time it is at that moment, for example, “10 am”. then i list tasks and times throughout the day up to the deadline time. entries may say, “10 am mix and chill dip,” “4 pm, shower and dress,” ” 6:45, put ice in glasses” so that all tasks are done before guests arrive, this helps me combat my inability to know how long things really take ( preheat oven, prepare cake mix, cook, cool, frost cake). i see on paper that it takes 2-3 HOURS to make a cake, not “mix for 3 minutes and cook for 35 minutes – voila!” haha
I work with computers and I use https://www.rescuetime.com to track how do I spend my day at work! I look forward reading the book!
Would love a copy of the book!
I find that focusing on my energy rather than on time helps me get the most out of my busy schedule. A great book that I’ve used with myself and my clients as an management consultant is: The Power of Full Engagement, by Loehr and Schwartz. They are sports psychologists that have applied the principles they know about athlete performance to the busy lives of regular folk today in this non stop time frame we work in. Always looking for more inspiring books to use in my practice!
Brilliant! I want this book, would be extremely helpful in juggling my young child, work and studies and still finding time for fun!! Love it
I especially like how she says to focus on core competencies. But what about those of us who can’t afford to “outsource” housework?
My only worry is how does one prevent becoming a slave to the new schedule?!?!
I do have some free time, but am so tired from a boring job that I don’t get much done.
I’ve learned to manage priorities, not time. I’m still learning to ignore distractions. I’ve stopped using the word “should.” I’m learning other ways vocabulary choice effects behavior. These tips are very helpful, thank you. I hope I win the book give-away. I’d really put it to good use. Thank you.
I’d love to read the book too. Right now I have too much to do and am having to prioritize everything to juggle it all. In a few months, I will have fewer responsibilitie but still need to plan well. My biggest flaw is saving the things I enjoy until I am done with all my obligations–and by the time I get the obligations done it’s either time for bed or I am too tired to enjoy doing anything!
I have found if I channel my mania into creativity, I can make many crafty things to sell…jewelry, aprons, pillows, Christmas tree ornaments, etc. I’d love to read this book however, because it seems I have not enough time in my days even though I sleep 7 hours and get up at 2:30am.
Almost three years ago, I had a massive hemorrhagic stroke. I awoke 7 days after the stroke, with a decision to live with joy. A simple, naked, absolue decision brings enormous personal power, clarity of mind, and focused action. Number 6 above (“spend your spare minutes doing joyful activities”) then becomes less a prescription than a description of one’s daily life!
Thanks for the article. I have to try these steps!
Fitness is a huge priority for me. So is saving money. I ride my bicycle to and from work to stay in shape and save money on gas. It also has made that morning coffee obsolete!
Hi,
I’m a start-over divorcee who’s had the classic mix of the modern ‘blessings & curses’ of our multi-layered life (including step kids & blending a family, trying to forge a career, becoming an adult tertiary student, moving, divorce, cronic illness recovery, moving & new career… and …it goes on & on doesnt it?) I had two gut reactions to your article. Firstly that it may seem like we ‘can’,'do’ more – like we ‘should’ and I have a hunch it might be about prioritising. I hope this does not mean that ‘do’ is more important than understanding, or processing or learning. More is not necessarily better? ie. Imagine two people having a one-upmanship conversation about how much they ‘do’ & get done – similar to the same on how little sleep one needs. Its counterproductive and ultimately misses the point of life, yes? Second is that we dont always know when we will need processing time, or time-out. Having every minute scheduled, sounds like pressure to me. Certainly, this does not come close to comparing those who simply don’t schedule anything, and waste their time because they didn’t make theirs constructive. I’m very interested indeed in reading this author’s suggestions.
What if you’re retired and have more control of your time than say, someone who works a 40-hour week? They say that work expands to fill the time slot available.
Coming from a severely income challenged childhood, where everything was done by family – and there was an extremely puritanical attitude toward work (I was the dreamy cat-petter, always yelled at for not being constantly doing chores], it has been hard to accept that it is morally acceptable to buy services (add to it, if my parents couldn’t afford it, how can i etc). This is my main new takeaway, after the redoing a 100 must do no matter what list.
But a couple of things I was able to do post retiring from FT work (so no kids) are from the same idea – figure out those things you really want to do – and do one of them. NOW.
One big ones was: Learning to SWIM(if you ARE a swimmer, you won’t get it. Non-Swimmers WILL.) It is not only about learning a skill, it is overcoming a major deep rooted fear, one that is often as hidden as a mental health issue. I searched for a program … and followed up on a trip that brought me together with a fantastic teacher, and the most supportive group of fine women – and later a couple of brave men (including a marine officer!)willing to share their fears and shame, relinquish their adult protective veneers, and act like children to learn together. It was so important that we all kept a journal, no one missed a class, and we committed to arriving on time,ready to go, and to do everything to support one another! A wonderful experience!
A second, more of a childhood wish fulfillment, was to take horse riding lessons. It meant – committing a certain amount of money (extra job), keeping the time for riding sacrosanct, riding no matter what the weather, as long as it was safe for the horses,in heat,cold, snow,rain, and no matter how you felt yourself. ( ANd it’s important to note that, just as inswimming, not every session was fun, no learning is… As in learning to swim, it required opening up to feeling foolish – giving up the adult pretense of being “in control”: accepting feeling ignorant and foolish at times. But is was also about the joy of riding – sometimes literally joining the “other” 8 year olds (really – this is about where you start mentally) cantering around the ring. Doing something you had imagined, only for real. It also meant saying that this time was precious to ME. Nothing short of real family emergencies were allowed to interfere, because it was a chance to do something I always thought would be wonderful — and finally ( I was in my late 50′s) grasped that you either do it — or may lose the opportunity forever — ( I still can’t get my head around paying for someone to clean or do yardwork, but somehow was able and willing to pay for this). The curious thing that in these 2 instances, the just-right teachers were there at just the right moment – that’s divine inspiration!
Time is a very precious thing. True, we know that we get 24 hours in a day, but we never know how much we will have total. And I don’t think that people know how much time they waste doing activities that they don’t enjoy or engaging in activities that are meaningless and forgettable. I think I have a packed schedule and that I’m overwhelmed. I’m a mother of a special needs child, a wife, and a teacher. Those things eat up a lot of the day. Most days, I feel as I don’t have time for things I like or that I’ve even accomplished anything. But I plan to use the spreadsheet to streamline my time to maximize it’s use.
I identify with not having time, and at times, having too many pending things to do. I have seen -in the past-, that when I keep a tight schedule of activities, I manage my time more productively. There was a time, when I was following a detox diet, that was forcing me to stretch time, and expand my creativity to include all the necessary steps. I did it, and realized that it is possible to manage time, and enjoy life while focusing and sticking to a plan.
i am just starting to explore the ideas of time management now that i’m in my 30′s. i wish i had started sooner! i would love to read the book discussed in this article. thank you!
I turned 20 about a month ago, and I’m already having trouble managing my time. There’re are tons of things I want to do. I want to keep up with my studies, learn Turkish (something I’ve been failing to do for more than a few years), learn cooking, and read fiction and non-fiction books. I’m also a book blogger and barely get time to review books. Apart from this, I’m looking for a new job.
Although I do make to-do lists more than often, still I have difficulty performing all my tasks. However, unlike Vanderkam’s tips, I used to focus on a day’s schedule rather than the whole weeks, trying to do everything I want on one single day. Spreading your tasks througout the week sounds easier since we usually have more spare time on weekends.
I read your article twice and now I’m on my way to make my list of 100 dreams. I hope this time I’ll have time to do all the things I love.
I work freelance from home, and have a couple of people come in twice a month, sometimes weekly, to do housework and iron (I live in Italy, there is no getting around ironing if you wear cotton). I love the time my housecleaners save me to work on other things, yet I don’t have them do more or find someone who could come more often or would work better unsupervised, because that would take organizing, time to find the person–it is already hard enough for me to deal with deadlines while cleaning up (and trying to get my kids to clean up) the messes so the cleaning people can clean! As it is, I am not-so-secretly relieved whenever they can’t come, and then afterwards I wish they had when I am faced with a dirty house for the weekend. I’ve been planning sitting down to do a serious organizing project so as to deal with this problem and not take on so much work that my routines fall apart so regularly…maybe this book will help!
This is great stuff. I would dig it normally but wowie baby, Sophie is falling in love for the first time in a long time. I am like wow is the new wierd, is he really looking at me? Yup it’s true. So, we are both BUSY People but we are going to hopefully be together as soon as our schedules allow, which is funny, but if you heard more, you would be like yeah, I can see why you would wait until you both have a break in a few weeks. I practice the matra that time is money and we waste so much, give so much away, don’t maximize it or allow it to grow interest at a high yield rate. It’s a great metaphor. I live in the land of metaphors. So, I am a 20 minute gardener. Meaning you can do a lot in 20 minutes. And I do. I have a Community Garden plot at my home church. It is great. We change our service times for the Summer. so I have all this extra time doing gardening for myself and the cmty. plots. I don’t have to do what I call (death by committee) or rush around in our congested social hall. Which I don’t do but I let people come to me.Thanks for letting me share. Gassho
It comes down to 2 major things: money and prioritization.
Most people don’t have enough money to outsource very much of the “drudgery” of life and our responsibilities.
And prioritizing (cutting out what’s not vital to our well-being) is something we’re not taught very well how to do. In fact, we’re not even taught we /should/ do it–but instead we venerate the idea of having and doing everything we want.
Reminds me of the saying, “My eyes were bigger than my stomach.”
time does seem to be very hard to come by. I work 10 hour days but including the drive it is more like 12 hours. I have a 1 yr old and a house we are living in and remodeling at the same time. I have a disable mom I care for and a husband who is only home part time. Shopping, paying bills, cleaning, work deadlines, all seems to be falling behind. My bank account is always negative and i find myself day dreaming of things i would love to do, like finish my degree. But everything takes money. Which seems to go together, if you have money you have time to hire others to help you, which then gives you time for other things. I see and hear of these moms who have everything under control and much more complicated lives and I would love their secerts, so maybe this book will provide them. Stress is something i do alot and i am in my early 30′s and now been told my heart isn’t great so taking control my to do’s and less stress would be a good thing for me to learn.