It was impossible to miss the white sign that hung over the wall of Saint Mary’s high school lacrosse field yesterday. The thing was as tall as our two-story house with letters as big as construction cranes. With just one word: “Prom?” On the hill behind it stood an adorable high-school junior with red roses. It would have been a perfect scene right out of a Jennifer Aniston movie… had she said yes. Ouch. So the poor guy packed up the humongous sign and his roses, and walked to his car with his chin buried in his chest.
I wish I could have run up to him and said, “This experience will make you stronger in the long run … trust me.” Because that’s not just a shallow attempt at consolation. It’s absolutely true.
John Grohol wrote a great piece the other day, “Be the Unpopular Kid” about how those of us who were not prom queens or football quarterbacks fare well in the world, perhaps better than our popular counterparts, because we have learned life skills that cheerleaders haven’t.
Looking back, I’m glad that I was an acne-ridden loser in junior high with a popular twin sister.
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I wouldn’t say that i was a loser, but have certainly learned these lessons because I was very shy, nerdy and athletically-challenged in high school. I’m still shy, but I connect with people well because I’m a good listener. I’ve also found sports that don’t require a lot of coordination, and have been participating in triathlons for the past several years. These hard lessons have helped me succeed as an adult, both professionally and personally. Thinking about Dan Savage’s “It gets better” campaign.
If being a loser turns one closer to God then it’s a mega blessing. If being popular turns one away from God, or forget about Him, then it is a mega curse. Our whole purpose in being here is to get closer to God. Ultimate success is not defined by how others view you, but how God sees you and your personal relationship with Him.
I definitely have gone through all of the 6 steps of being a loser. However, just because I can relate to all 6 reasons doesn’t mean I am a loser. I do agree with #2:We are resilient. Being tough on the inside and outside is the true secret to surviving any and all struggles in this world. I will be refering to some of what you wrote in my blogs at a later date.
HATS OF TO THE WRITER.AFTER READING THIS I AGREE WITH WHATEVER IS WRITTEN.EVEN I HAVE EXACTLY EXPERIENCED EACH OF THE SIX REASONS AND NOW THAT I HAVE COME OVER THEM I HAVE DEFINETELY COME A LONG WAY AND IM WAY AHEAD OF MY COUNTERPARTS IN TERMS OF EVERYTHING SUCESS,INTELLECT,THINKING,MONEY ETC.
Yup this is so true!I’ve got a twin sister. who everyone says is very pretty. even my eldest sister is really pretty. I don’t know. sometimes i felt like lost. i’m still 19 years old. so i don;t know what would happen in the future. anyway thanks for the article. you gave me a new way to thinking.
I guess there’s also a reason why so many “superstars” end up divorced and in rehab.
Look, take it from me, what ever level of failure you may experience in life, there will be something to take from it which will benefit you at something else in the future.
Imagine learning to read at age 14, not have a mind to tell you to quit school when friends are going, not know failing a subject in school was a bad thing. but, guess what in 11th grade something happened and everything, every subject in school opened up and I could make sense of everything I had been taught.
Stop listening to your mind, you didn’t do as a child, so, don’t do it now. Learn how to let your five senses feed your brain information and wait for a feeling to come from it.
What is sad, is the fact most people get a high 90% of their feelings created by thinking. This does nothing for the brain. The brain started out by only having the use of the five senses to get feelings. Then, you learned how to think and this slowly begin to shut the brain down. Try to get your feeling by involving the five senses.
How do you think I was able to get my feelings, feelings psychologists believe isn’t possible. My mother is still alive and will tell you I had very little feelings which was only shown to animals or family pets and how a near drowning took that away.
What ever you do, it isn’t wrong in any way, unless your or somebody gets hurt. No pain or suffering, then go for it.
When I go to the park with my grandson, I’m in the dirt with him playing with his trucks and then I look around to see adults staring at me. STOP, CARING what other think, be free to have fun, explore your five senses and be a kid again. Buy a toy take it home and play with it, have fun.
But think again, how can we do it without thinking what other peoples think? So I think for a moment like, seriously if you can’t be a grown up, think with objectives thoughts, then what for for you to grow up? But I too much agree that losers are likely to be independent, but I think there are likely 2 ends for a loser, one is they don’t trust themselves and turn psycho since no matter how clever they actually are or how big they acheive, nobody will care a **** about them they just continue their f****** life. By the way I’m sorry for using “*”
I’m also considered as a loser at school or everywhere and I don’t like being a loser. Like for me I will be very envious of other people getting great close “friends” who can hang out with them but I don’t because people in my own class always treat me like a moron and never they’ll respect me ever since they know me. I really hate them and like even for second I’m being awkward they laugh and say I’m weird. I really hate that. But for the first few weeks of school I’m really like Greg Heffley from ” the diary of a wimpy kid”, Keep thinking of a way to be popular and gain respect but fail when I lost the ‘popular formula’ I don’t even know how to be like it as I used to being kind of left out and also can’t be able to keep up the pace of popular people at my high school. Then I started being alone again. Like I think about it and I’m fed up because me- as a sensitive person- is always at the losing end starting from young. People say I’m slow(but I think fast), crybaby and wouldn’t even care a DAMN about me unlike my bright cousins who always get respect and cares everywhere they go. I agree that losers are more likely to be independent and won’t care much about others and go on to achieve their dream, but this also can end up doing wrong things since they don’t care. In my opinion, losers can end up differently, one is being a stronger, mature person and another is feeling helpless, and don’t ever trust in themselved anymore because they see no hope in being a popular, fitted into the society person while watching sucessful social person acheive what they want but why they can’t. for me I think i would fall into the second because I don’t ever trust in myself anymore. I was like watching all the popular people proud and boasting all they can but not me sadly. IT’S LIKEI HOPE I CAN BE ONE OF THEM BUT CAN’T DO IT. JUST LIKE LITTLE MERMAID, IF SOMEONE IS TO GIVE MY EMOTIONAL SUPPORT.
Just like JQAngie, except, being a loser has turned me into being a sociopath, con-artist. I figure, if I have to be a loser, because people are not supportive of me, than, hell, I can just not care about other people’s interest and run over top of them. Of course, in order to do that, I would have to feign compassion and keep a close wrap on my envy problem. I feel like emulating Othello’s Iago as a good example for how to be a loser and cause someone else to fall at the same time. ****LMAO****