Depression never happens in a vacuum. Like a ripple in the water, a parent’s illness can’t help but affect her offspring.
Different studies have documented how depression in a new mother clearly affects her interactions with her baby or toddler. Depressed mothers are more withdrawn, less responsive to their infant’s signals. “Their facial expressions and displays of emotion [are] more muted or flat, and their voices [are] monotone,” explains Ruta Nonacs in “A Deeper Shade of Blue.” “They [remain] disengaged and [do] little to support their child’s activities or exploration of the environment.”
A mother’s depression also affects grade-schoolers and adolescents.
When parents fail to meet the needs of the people under their care, some kids begin to act out, have difficulty with schoolwork, become hyperactive. A sizable percentage start to isolate and feel depressed themselves.
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This is a great article. My Dad has terrible depression and always has. So much so that when I was 13, he gave up on being a parent. He left the family and to this day lives alone and miserable and is estranged from his whole family. My Mom tried to get him help thru the years but he was so angry and in denial and refused. Again, this is a great article. I think of what it would have been like for someone to explain these things to me when I was young. Instead what happened is I set out to be just the opposite of my Dad and always appeared in good spirits. Really what ended up happening is that I spent most of my life denying my own depression. Even to this day, I have to take a deep breath before I connect my name with the word depression in a sentence. I’m getting better about that though. At 33 years old, after beginning therapy and meds a year ago, I really do feel like I’m getting a fresh start in a way… like why didn’t I get help years ago? I could have felt so much better so much sooner!
Great article. Thanks for sharing it.
I am sorry but I see 2-3 dangerous things in your article and I disagree with the whole idea, unless a parent doesn’t have major depression. Many people have syndromes of reactive depression, at least those who do not lack empathy. (What about other disorders – that come or issue lack of empathy – should be told also to the child?) Many things could be instilled in a child’s head, especially when he doesn’t have the age to understand. “The mere consolation of knowing she is loved will promote her resiliency and protect her from the blow of depression’s curse.” You wrote that! Then why the need for the rest? Have you thought about how many parents could be simply rip off of their children because “depression”(no matter not a “major depression”) was put as a diagnosis? Any such disorder as depression or anxiety increase the risk of “abusing the child”, but I suppose you know that. Good for you that you have a husband and parents to sustain you! Others might not have support from anyone around. Take their child and wreck them down “in the best interest of the child”! Not all the parents in depression are “less responsive to their infant’s signals”; there is still the maternal instinct, that I think is one of the strongest ones!
Thank you thank you thank you! although i slightly agree with gabby, my mother has depression and has had since i was 10 years old.. My father left and i struggled to deal with it for a long time resulting in a breakdown in the relationship between me and my dad. i went through some rough years and now just get pissed off when she over reacts all the time as i think it has gone on for long enough hence now at the age of 16 i am at boarding school where i dont have to deal with it so much, only the phone calls. i love her to bits and always will, just find it ridiculously hard sometimes