Eighteen years ago, when I gave birth to my son, I was a wreck; depressed and racked with guilt over it. I learned later I wasn’t alone. Many mothers felt the same way when their kids were born, only they kept it quiet. Today, thank God, the silence is broken and women can admit just how imperfect their mommy-ness feels at times.
Back in the old days, however, it was odd for a woman to confess that she didn’t feel a strong traditional pull to be a mother. We’re talking way back — before cell phones, before the Internet, before Facebook, even before reality television shows!
For my husband and me, circumstances beyond our control forced us to consider life without children. Having the choice taken away from us because of my chronic illness was depressing and we had to work to accept it. Just as I was wrapping my brain around being childless, the disease went into remission, and my doctors gave us a green light. When I got pregnant easily it felt like a miracle.
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