In the Parents Magazine article, “Mommy Isn’t Feeling Well Today,” Sarah Mahoney interviews many experts: professionals, parents who have chronic illness and sometimes, as in my case, people who are both. I was honored to be among them. The article is impressive in how it …
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In response to Challenge #7, there’s a full range of disease specific self-help (patient-run) support groups, and professionally run support groups. But there are also a variety of groups for your children from “Kids Konnected” support groups for children who have a parent with cancer:
http://www.kidskonnected.org
to the “National Students of Ailing Mothers & Fathers Support Network” for college & university students who are seeking help in coping with the serious illness of a parent or loved one:
http://www.studentsofamf.org
For local support groups for both parents and children, or for free help in joining with others to start a needed support group, there are a few local “self-help group clearinghouses” that will help you. For a listing of them, go to:
http://www.mentalhelp.net/selfhelp/selfhelp.php?id=859
Take care & hope,
- Ed
“My years as a medical practitioner, as well as my own first-hand experience, have taught me how important self-help groups are in assisting their members in dealing with problems, stress, hardship and pain… the benefits of mutual aid are experienced by millions of people who turn to others with a similar problem to attempt to deal with their isolation, powerlessness, alienation, and the awful feeling that nobody understands… Health and human service providers are learning that they can indeed provide a superior service when they help their patients and clients find appropriate peer support.”
- former U.S. Surgeon General C. Everett Koop, MD, who also served as a member of Compassionate Friends, an international self-help group for bereaved parents, following the sudden tragic death of his own college age son.
Thank you for adding such a down -to-earth and real-snap shot of what it is like trying to maintain the roles of professional, parent and eternal optimist!. The phrase: “Mommy isn’t feeling well today” breaks my heart and i fight feelings of guilt-everyday-for bringing my son into the world because of my chronic illness…..an illness that is viewed by many as being a character flaw/weakness.
NO 6: putting your needs ahead of…..: is so impt and yet seemingly selfish. By trying to be everyone for others…and then not ‘cutting-it’-professionally or at home, my marriage broke down(among other reasons). This is still not “all bad”.
What i do i have to do now is understand that my child-because of this-has become my pseudo carer, bringing vitamin pills (our term) to mummy in the morning,a black coffee and turning on all the lights in the house-which is our game to check once i am “together”. In that first half hour, i “get well” and he does the “christmas tree lights as well” – it’s our game . He is just 6.
Sorry for the ramble . But sickness/disability is real. I am so happy he is now bigger than me and in his teens-i know that i could never “hurt him”-as a result of my illness/weakness- as i have done myself, twice over 30 years.
Again sorry – will refer to your website Dr Aletta. Just resonating with the point that as a mental health professional, i found myself in roles of carer, consumer, parent etc and for whatever reason-found it hard to balance these roles -at least initially.
I am proud of my son who can still say: Mum’s not well today…but we can arrange some other time:-we/she would really like to be involved: thanks for inviting us! Humility and ‘normalizing’ chronic illness is a way forward. I hope others can find that too, no matter how difficult some days seem. This illness has been a ‘gift’. Yes-a child has been hurt- but the cliche still stands?…..”it can make you stronger!” God Bless
Thank you for adding such a down -to-earth and real-snap shot of what it is like trying to maintain the roles of professional, parent and eternal optimist!. The phrase: “Mommy isn’t feeling well today” breaks my heart and i fight feelings of guilt-everyday-for bringing my son into the world because of my chronic illness…..an illness that is viewed by many as being a character flaw/weakness.
NO 6: putting your needs ahead of…..: is so impt and yet seemingly selfish. By trying to be everyone for others…and then not ‘cutting-it’-professionally or at home, my marriage broke down (among other reasons). This is still not “all bad”.
What i DO have to do now is understand that my child-BECAUSE of this-has essentially become MY carer, bringing vitamin pills (our term) to mummy in the morning and a black coffee. He can then run around the house, turning all the lights on, or put the buble bath in the bath-which is our game to check once i am “together”.(The latter makes me get out of bed) In that first half hour, i “get well” and he does the “christmas tree/fairy lights as well” – it’s our game . He is just 6.
Sorry for the ramble . But sickness/disability is real. I am so happy he is now bigger than me and in his teens-i know that i could never “hurt him”-as a result of my illness/weakness- as i have done myself, twice over 30 years.
‘ will refer to your website Dr Aletta…
Just resonating with the point that as a mental health professional, i found myself in roles of carer, consumer, parent etc and for whatever reason-found it hard to balance these -at least initially; holding it together at work and ‘hiding’ the illness(due to fear of discrimination) only isolated me/us more as a single-parent family_ I could not lose my income.
I am proud of my son who can stil/nowl say: Mum’s not well today…but we can arrange some other time:-we/she would really like to be involved: thanks for inviting us!
Humility and ‘normalizing’ chronic illness is a way forward. I hope others can find that too, no matter how difficult some days seem. This illness HAS been a ‘gift’. Yes-a child has been hurt- but the cliche still stands?…..”it can make you stronger!” God Bless