According to positive psychologists, the words ‘thank you‘ are no longer just good manners, they are also beneficial to the self.
To take the best known examples, studies have suggested that being grateful can improve well-being, physical health, can strengthen social relationships, produce positive emotional states and help us cope with stressful times in our lives.
But we also say thank you because we want the other person to know we value what they’ve done for us and, maybe, encourage them to help us again in the future.
It’s this aspect of gratitude that Adam M. Grant and Francesco Gino examine in a series of new studies published recently in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology (Grant & Gino, 2010).
They wanted to see what effect gratitude has on the person who is being thanked. Does it motivate and, if so, is it just by making people feel good, or is it more than that?
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Thank-you for such a wonderful article!
Hello,
I see this effect daily. Personally, I do my best to say thank you when someone does something for me. If I forget, I make sure to tell them as soon as I can. Also I say hello or good morning/afternoon/evening to those I pass by. I noticed this typically brightens someone’s day by them being noticed. It’s easy to feel invisable in today’s world. To have someone notice you to say hi or good morning makes a difference. Try it some time, notice the difference in most people.
-Stanley
What a fantastic post! It’s so true that positive feelings of any kind help feelings of well being, physical health, strengthen social relationships and coping skills. Being grateful fits right in there because it is a positive feeling. Being appreciative goes hand in hand with happiness and contentment in one’s life. It is a great feeling to help someone else feel valued and by saying thank you and being sincerely grateful, we are doing just that. People want to feel needed and appreciated, not used. Great article.
I am not an elderly person, but I’m often offered a seat on the bus. I usually say thank you and take the seat. I’ve always thought that showing appreciation would encourage this person to offer a seat to someone else in the future, who really needed it more than me. I also tell my father, who is elderly, to let people help him when they offer. It isn’t only for his benefit.
So there’s a reason for gratitude journals and tokens and cultivating gratitude inside ourselves!
I’m unsurprised. My life became much more joyous when I decided to focus on the 98% that was working and thanking people, especially my partner, for that!
It would be interesting to study what the psychological impact of saying thankful had on the individual who was expressing gratitude. I’ll bet there are physiological benefits to thanking someone for the thanker as well as the thankee.
What about “you’re welcome”?
Well, if “The true measure of a man is how he treats someone who can do him absolutely no good.” where does that leave us?
My daughter started saying thank you when she was around 3! It was totaly unexpected and so dear to me. We lived in the Twin Cities, I loved to walk/bus it, I had a car but with miles of nice sidewalks it was a great way to burn energy w/o feeling like excersise. If I got off at the front of the bus I always thanked the driver and wished him a good day. One beautiful winter day, not too cold and the sun sparkly on the fresh white snow, As I thanked the driver and stepped off, heading for the park. I heard this high pitched echo just behind my ear. My daughter perched on my hip had waved and thanked the driver just as I had done. It made me relize just how important it was for me to model what behavior I really wanted for my daughter, and it brought smiles to even the grouchiest grump that day. I also beliele just a genuine smile at a stranger can go a long way too.