Most of us circle a few days of the calendar year that we know will be difficult to get through: the anniversary of a death, traumatic event, or even happy occasion. These dates are charged with emotion.
Sometimes we feel trapped by these dates — like there’s nothing we can do to stop them. The approaching date creates a sense of panic and anxiety in many of us, and we can feel out of control. The one benefit from anniversary anxiety is that we can predict it and therefore prepare for it. Here are 8 ways to do just that.
1. Forecast your emotions.
You’ve circled the day. You know it’s coming. Now get honest with yourself about how you might feel on that day. If it’s the anniversary of a death of a loved one, get ready to celebrate that person’s life with joy and sadness. Pull out some photos. Prepare to feel that hollow part in your heart open up once more to the loss you have felt since the death. Allow yourself some space for mourning, even if it’s been 10 years since you’ve separated and everyone tells you that you should be over it.
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Site last updated: 25 May 2013
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I find gardening quite relaxing. It keeps me busy, but at the same time allows me to think a lot – about whatever is concerning me.
The 4th anniversary of the death of my wife is coming up on the 9th. I miss her more, as it seems, than the first year of her death.
I feel that I was not a good husband and did not give my wife the respect that she deserved. I can only think of the bad things I did and cannot consider the good things in our marriage or the times that I was a “good guy.”
By reading about “Perfection doesn’t exist in anyone,” I feel that I have made a breakthrough regarding this most painful situation that I have trapped myself in.
I especially feel guilty that I was totally helpless in preventing her sickness and pain when she needed me. I felt that through “tough love” I could make her well.
If only I could have 5 minutes to apologize to my wife for the hurt and sadness that I brought her.