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Seeking Happily Ever After: Some Tips for Singles

According to the U.S. Census Bureau, about 40 percent of adults were single in 2009. Researchers have found that the “single stigma” is worst for women in their mid-20’s through mid-30’s. Women 35 and older are more content with their single status and don’t complain of social pressure as much as younger singles.

Michelle Cove, director and producer of the feature-length documentary, “Seeking Happily Ever After,” has just compiled a book by the same title.

In between its covers, Michelle presents simple but smart steps for singles to identify their relationship needs and goals, and learns how to pursue healthier, stronger relationships. I have pulled the following suggestions from chapter four, “The Princess in Waiting.”

10 Comments to
Seeking Happily Ever After: Some Tips for Singles

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  1. Michelle has done a great job of exploring this issue. I came across her work a year or so ago when I was researching for a uni assignment

  2. In part 2, I’m just curious to whom these tasks are to be delegated… it’s not like the single person has a partner with whom to share the workload…

  3. “In part 2, I’m just curious to whom these tasks are to be delegated… it’s not like the single person has a partner with whom to share the workload…”

    Good observation KB… I was wondering the same thing myself.

  4. Don’t waste your youthful body and youthful face on doing things alone or with girlfriends, instead of finding a mate or you will wind up middle aged with fewer suitors.
    I did what the author said and it was a mistake. Strike while your looks are the hottest. That’s reality.

  5. This is something that should be explained to all girls and women by their mothers, long before they start having thoughts of marriage. Those unrealistic expectations of the perfect life ruin relationships and marriages.

  6. I will explore more about this book because it might be a good gift for my Granddaughters (5), four of whom are old enough to benefit.

    After struggling in three failed marriages I would love to spare them that agony. I tell them that the best way to live “happily ever after” is to get your education, attain emotional and financial independence, and then make life choices because you want to, not because you need to.

  7. This is an interesting topic, seeing how entrenched the “princess” syndrome is in our culture. It doesn’t help that companies like Disney are always pushing the princess agenda in the name of big bucks.

    It is also sad to see those reality shows that focus on brides-to-be shopping for the perfect wedding dress. Once they are married, what they looked like on their wedding day will be the least of their worries. Most of them say they want to look like a princess. Why? Probably because they were programmed that way since they were toddlers. It’s time for mothers of daughters to prepare them for the hard reality of what a good marriage is all about. It is hard work, and no one is going to do that work for them.

    I am not anti-marriage, but there are so few candidates who are truly worthy of the investment of a woman’s life in one of the toughest, and at times most rewarding endeavors of humankind.

  8. I have learned..@ 67..that our partnering needs & requiements change continuously. In our 20’s, we need someone who’ll be 1st, a good lover, a fun ‘playmate’ & 2nd(if we’re so inclined) a good parent, this continues into our 30’s, where the need for a qood ‘life partner’becomes necessary. Then,after that, we need someone who’s our intellectual & adventurous equal(for when the nest empties)this is probably why a lot of marriages end at this age..these requirements continue & develop more as we ‘age’, also,an interesting difference emerges between the sexes..women become more INdependent, while most(tho not all) men have become more DEpendent. This is why women do so much better emotionally surviving later ‘singleness’ than men(after they weather the pain of what caused their new singlehood.) I personally have been ‘single’ for 35 years..but I have had wonderful men friends who have served as interesting companions, greatest of friends & yes, wonderful lovers…but, I am no longer the needy person I was when I was younger. I love being on my own & doing whatever I want to do when I want to do it AND.. I’m not afraid of work, in fact thrive on it & have not yet felt the need to retire. But I have 1 or 2 male friends who are on the same wave length & can always be available when we both want companionship. It’s a good life & it took me 40 years to develop it. So, I’m a well-loved & loving mom ,mom-in-law & grandmother,an interesting & sought after friend & companion & a hardworking & respected employee. But all these took awhile to develop & perfect w/a lot of trial & error. There IS a ‘happily ever after’ but it comes from WITHIN you & must be part of your own reality..not from old time fairy tales or ‘romantic happy-ending’ type movies.

  9. I have read the postings and I was sitting here, remembering the good men and the bad . Frankly, I am so disgusted.. As married , I have a man who is pitiful and I can not speak to or listen to or make love to( I do not want to) or anything!! I want a man who is like “wiseolelady” wrote about- adventurous( equally), works and wants to be a friend, companion and lover( I am 59.) BUT they must exist somewhere else…

  10. Thanks @wiseol’lady, you’ve put into words how I’ve been feeling the last few years. My kids are getting older and I’ve noticed that my needs have changed. I need an adventurous mate who wants to be my companion and I find myself wondering if my husband will be able to fill that gap and the more time passes, the less I believe it. So in the last 12 months, I’ve been taking care of myself, not expecting anything from him, expecting more from myself and just doing my own things. He doesn’t enjoy the things I do and that’s just fine, I’ve got sisters, family, girl-friends and guy-friends who are fulfilling those needs. Not sure if marriage will last or it’s just evolving.



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