I’ve written a handful of posts on “internet addiction disorder” and a piece on video game addiction, but the Philadelphia Inquirer had story today on a combination of these issues with “massive multiplayer online role playing games (MMORPGs).” Basically these are …
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http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gamer_widow
There’s not nearly enough large-scale, clinical studies at this time to think for a moment that any of this kind of stuff will make it into the DSM-V. (Maybe in the section of disorders requiring further study, but that’s it.)
People spend too much time and get “sucked into” all sorts of things — books, TV, socializing with friends, stand-alone video games, you-name-it. I have yet to see or read where or how the Internet is significantly different, so much so that it deserves its own special “disorder.”
Keeping in mind that at the heart of MMORPGs, the key is socializing. World of Warcraft wouldn’t be so captivating to its millions of players who pay a monthly fee to play if it didn’t have direct and constant human interaction.
I think that addiction to games such as world of warcraft is very real. My stepson sits up all night playing and has cut himself off from friends and family, he hasn’t got a job and doesn’t go to college either, he avoids interaction with real people prefering to interact only with those online who although are humanbeings are interacting as characters and not real world people, it is a virtual world that provides an alternative to real life. I find it very disturbing that a 17 year old would rather sit in his room all night until 9am then sleep for hours during the day than go out with friends drinking and misbehaving and going to work to afford drinking etc. If he lived with us the ocmputer would have been removed long ago, but if you look at his behaviour and his inability to function in society this gaming addiction has much the same adverse affects as any other addictions, say drugs or alcohol.
I think that that is bad. It seriously beats my story of how my only son was addicted to online games in Iraq, where he was tortured and addicted to WoW and crack at the same time, while being gay and having HIV, the worst part being that were Iraqi Christians. Totally beats it.
Hi folks,
I’m a journalism student in the UK writing a feature on people who live their lives through their computer.
I am really keen to find some good case studies of people who are compulsive online users of games/msn/facebook, who would be willing to talk to me candidly about it… do you spend as much as 12 hours a day, or more on your computer interacting with people? does it make you happy?
Psychologists say that being happy is often about being with friends and loved ones, but I wanted to look at how that fares up with people who use a virtual world predominantly as a means of communication, therefore isolating themselves.
It’s a print piece, so I’d be happy to speak with people via email or phone- whichever they prefer.
I’d love to hear from you, wherever in the world you are. My email is: louise_driscoll@hotmail.com.
Many thanks
I am astounded to see psychology experts spending much of their time and efforts arguing whether or not spending hours on video games is an addiction or not. Who cares? The bottom line is that millions of kids are sinking into fake internet worlds. They become suicidal, violent, hostile to their families, and unable to cope with the real world whatsoever.
Kids need help and their parents have no clue what to do.
I just started a blog for parents of videogame addicted kids, please join and add your comments and resources.
http://videogameaddiction.blogini.com
I don’t think so!
“Here’s the deal…I have been married for 7 months. We have 3 amazing kid’s. My brother in law also lives with us. That’s just background. Recently I have went back to work( midnights) and my husband has stayed home with the kid’s as it is cheaper than hiring a babysitter. Literally from day one of this transition, he has been playing a game similar to WOW. As a result our brand new marriage is quickly going down hill. He stays up all night playing so that when our baby wakes up in the morning, he makes my brother in law watch him…sometimes he’ll even act like he’s going back to bed, locks himself in our room to play, and continues to put the responsbility on our 19 yr old B-I-L. The chores are not getting done at all. And I mean at all! So that by the time my weekend rolls around I am stuck with laundry and so on from the last break I had. My B-I-L also works where I work( same shift, and is constantly making dinner so that I can get some rest.I am at my last straw. I’ve done everything including literally begging for his attention for me and the kids, but we fight and lately it’s become closer to being violent. You don’t know how bad I wanna throw our computers off the deck, but I’m afraid of his reaction.(I’ve seriously considered this) If things don’t change I will not make it to being married for 1 year. not even close. Sorry so long, I’m just lost. Oh and last night I fell asleep on the side of the bed with the outlet( where he plugs in the laptop to keep it near him. well b’c he couldn’t plug it in, He slept on the floor by another outlet! And he b*$%#es about not getting any!?
“
We Must Do Something!
That’s the cry of well-intentioned and well-meaning people throughout history. And if you know your history, it follows that if you do not have a strong empirical link between Behavior A and Stimulus B, you shouldn’t just “Do Something.” Because that something could very well be an over-reaction or make your child (or the situation) far worse.
Look back and see how many people complained about how television was corrupting our children. Now they watch 4 hours a day (on average), and does anyone complain?
I am a single parent of a 14 year old son i bought a 3 month subscription for world war craft by doing so my son who stays in room constantly was up all night hes failin 4 classes he also optained my credit card informaton and ran up close to 1500 dollars buying things for this game he has almost financiaaly ruined me is it bad oh yes it has to be stopped or we will end up losing more than money
I think that this debate, about “is it an addiction – is it a part of impulsive/compulsive disorder…” while very necessary in professional circles, is unfortunately sometimes harmful harmful to the untrained person with the problem or the concerned loved one.
The point seems to be (and I am not a professional, just an interested layman)that the jury is still out on this one.
But
No one denies that there is a problem, people just aren’t sure what the true source of the problem is. If someone is playing video games to the point that all else in their life suffers – they have a problem, and if they can’t stop playing, (whether you call this as addiction or not) they should probably get some help so that they can stop playing quite so much.
Also, although there is intense professional debate about what to call this problem – everyone seems to agree (again, as far as I can tell) what the solutions are. Cognitive behavioral therapy and in some cases medication, as well as a full screening for co-occurring disorders.
Dr. Grohol, I guess the question I would ask is, do you think that someone who is playing video games at an intensity that is disruptive to her life, and cannot stop, needs professional help? Shouldn’t they “Do something”?
Yes, of course they should do something. They should try and use proven time management techniques or other self-help methods on their own first — they cost nothing to try, and if they work, you’re on the road to recovery. Sometimes it helps to enlist a trusted friend’s help when you try such techniques, someone who can hold you accountable and hold your feet to the fire if need be.
But if that doesn’t work, they should go and seek out professional help. But any trained and experienced mental health professional can assist a person with this sort of concern, because in various forms, it’s a concern most professionals have seen in their practice.
And indeed, cognitive-behavioral techniques seem to be effective in helping people with this concern. Any experienced cognitive-behavioral therapist can be of assistance to a person with these kinds of issues.
Dr. Grohol,
Thank you for your quick and considered reply. What you say makes sense – and if self help will work – then that’s the best help for sure!
I personally think that we are at the tip of the iceberg here – a brave new virtual world, as it were – and the growing pains we’ll see during the next decade or so may be great. It is tragically and philosophically very interesting though…
I know why things like WOW are so addicting and that is because of the socializing with people and the the ability to create an all new persona. You can be a person that nobody wants to hang with bacause of some reason like your “ugly” or “weird”; and in these other realms/worlds they can be a person everybody likes. I think WOW is like facebook or myspace except you have an online world to interact with. I do believe that many people get TOO envolved with these online worlds and one may think that they are neglecting friends for virtual ones but many actually go online to be with friends and hangout. The trick is moderation…
Most of the comments here are from parents that have children that play these online games but no comments have been made by an online gamer like myself and I would like to add a part to this.
Like I said I play online games mainly Age of Conan. But, I can manage my time and life around this game and I can understand how some of the parents here are at a lost of what to do. Now this may seem harsh but its the truth.. you’ve all got yourself to blame. If your stepson sits up alnight playing World of Warcraft they have a new feature that can stop someone from playing WoW over a certain time. Called…. Parental Controlls!! Or if they dont listen why dont you cut off your internet connection or remove the Pc from their room and get it moved to somewhere more public like the dining room or living room… If a kid has your credit details change the info at the bank, get the bank to stop all money leaving your account to the games account, you should see what the name of the account the money is going to on your bank statements.
Whenever I read something about these issues like “addiction problems” coming from parents that have kids in their own house then that aint right, YOU are the ones that decide what your kids do in your house and what YOU buy him/her. Everything comes down to you parents im afraid. Children be them early teenagers to late teenagers still need their parents to help them come into adults… YOU all have the power to decide on how long they play a game for… disconnect the internet, change the billing details, move the pc to a more public area in house…
Best one for me was when my mum disconnected the internet, she said I had to get back out and start playing with my friends again, that was the best time of my life as i had forgotten what it was like. That was when I was 19, now im 25, i still play online games but now i know how to manage my time. If my mum hadnt done that for me, i dont know what would have happened to me.. i dont like to think about it.
But when it comes to adults that have issues managing their time then they need help badly. But, I still dont think its an addiction, mainly a impulse control disorder as Dr Meek said. That person would need help.
This is all what Ive to say, some may not like it but its the truth. Parent need to take a stronger hand in what their kids do, if they dont then they will regret it.
I would like to add one more comment that I have yet to read in any of these forums. But first I would like to say that I too am an online gamer. I started with Ultima Online and have been with WOW since its inception. I managed a 21 year army career, a family with 3 kids and now well into my later 40s. I still have my accounts with WOW and am planning on startin an account with RIFT. AM I AN ADDICT? I would say yes. By my own definition an addict is doing something that brings you pleasure and contemptment. Rather that is online or throwing on running shoes and jogging for 25 miles for no reason. The main problem I see with online games are that the quest and raids require so much time to finish. When you commit to something you have an obligation to fulfill it (for the people that you are working with) It could be a game, it could be a building project. If you quit it in the middle then you are deemed unworthy and never asked to return. I have spent many hours and sometimes days online (new expansions were the worse) because you want to finish what you start. However, as you progress the task become longer and harder. THIS addiction could be happening in your life right now and you aren’t even realizing it. Those who work 12-15/16 hours a day so that you can afford a big house, newer car and put your kids (the ones online that YOU provide for them) through a decent school. Is there a cure? Sure…..KILL TECHNOLOGY. Will it happen, NOT EVEN A CHANCE. Sorry but thats life. Buy a smaller house, drive an older car and take your kids out on hunting, fishing, camping and vacation trips that will draw their interest to the great outdoors.
My children was a die-hard WOW player. He was playing for 13 hours a day (10 of them at night, we didn’t know). After some time it wasn’t enough for him and he began to skip the school. We were very surprised to know that he did it because he just wanted to reach the cherished 80 level. Awful!!! Suddenly it dawned upon me that we could find appropriate software. There are lots of tools but not too many programs support Vista 64-bit. The one I purchase works just perfect. Using Ez Internet Timer (http://www.internettimer.net/), I can easily schedule when to stop all children’s on-line activity.
Gustav Mahler is the greatest composer I have ever heard. He inspires me every day of my life.
My husband just told me he fell in love with a woman on World of Warcraft. He spent 10 hours on Valentine’s Day playing warcraft. He looks like a man possessed. My good natured , laid-back, dependable husband, my ROCK, has become a deranged lunatic. He said he feels disembodied. He said his heart, his mind, and his body are separate, and that his heart is Inside the game. He said he didn’t want to hurt Either of us… EITHER of us? I gave birth for you! 1 MONTH he hasn’t slept, 1 MONTH of playing with this person, and he’s up nights thinking of her, he does NOT sleep
I have read many of the posts here implying that attaching the label “addiction” is ridiculous. After all, the same thing has been said about (fill in the blank) and LOOK, now (fill in the blank) has become acceptable! It’s just a way to blow off steam, etc. etc. etc. I am not buying it.
I hear the same kind of rationalization and excuses from my 30 year old son when I try to bring up his online gaming addiction. He is an intelligent, friendly, quick-witted young man who was a gifted student from elementary through high school as well as his first two years of college. He dropped out of college.
He has had numerous jobs, some paying only minimum wage. He has never gotten a driver’s license. He always falls into a pattern of staying up late and calling out “sick” or he goes into work looking less than groomed. He doesn’t date any more. He doesn’t clean up after himself because he just really doesn’t notice how messy he is. It’s like having a big, hairy 13 year old.
He has let his bills go unpaid. We helped him out as much as we could with that, but we are not rich and we have two more sons left at home to help out with college.
He has had two “do-overs” ie, attempts to get his finances back on track, go back to college and get his degree, take driving lessons, save money for a car and his own place, etc.
He has lived with us, his parents, now for three years and has a decent job, but we can see him making no progress with his life, and recently we have heard him downstairs gaming all night long. His gaming has escalated…AGAIN…after a slight slowdown.
I love him dearly and can’t bear to watch him destroy his life any more. I’m telling him today to get help. I don’t care what kind of rationalizations and defenses there are for online gaming. If any of you personally can quit playing when you want to, if you have finished college or trade school, if you are happily married/in a relationship and if you are not still living with your parents when you’re 30 years old, I applaud you: you are NOT addicted. If online gaming is affecting your life in a negative way, if it is interfering with REAL life, then, like my son, you are indeed addicted. Yes, you can be addicted to TV, but for some reason, there is something about online gaming that is exactly like gambling to some people. I don’t think you get the same kind of rush from watching TV. I beat myself up for not insisting that my son get help sooner. Hope it isn’t too late. What a waste that would be.
I recommend Terry Waite’s book PLUGGED IN. It gives helpful information and advice for people who love MMORPG addicts as well as a clinical perspective. It’s not too late – never give up hope. Good luck.
As a recovering WoW Addict, (yes, ADDICT), I just wanted to share that once you are able to get loose of the MMORPG beast, you realize just how addicted you were…
and as far as the people who say ANYONE can become addicted to ANYTHING, I say, while this is technically true… last time I checked there was no such thing as
tvdetox.com or
campingdetox.com…
but there is a http://www.wowdetox.com...
http://wrathofnino.wordpress.com/indexes/addicted-to-wow/
I see a lot of comments about addictions[s] to WoW but trust me — there are more sites out there IMO that are just as bad if not worse than WoW such as Second Life. Research ‘Second Life’ addictions — I considered going to Second Life until I did a bit of research. After reading what the game did to relationships, real life etc, I opted out. One can argue that no one game can ruin relationships, jobs, real life, etc but the argument for online gaming addiction is there and it’s real.
Here’s the deal…I have been married for 7 months. We have 3 amazing kid’s. My brother in law also lives with us. That’s just background. Recently I have went back to work( midnights) and my husband has stayed home with the kid’s as it is cheaper than hiring a babysitter. Literally from day one of this transition, he has been playing a game similar to WOW. As a result our brand new marriage is quickly going down hill. He stays up all night playing so that when our baby wakes up in the morning, he makes my brother in law watch him…sometimes he’ll even act like he’s going back to bed, locks himself in our room to play, and continues to put the responsbility on our 19 yr old B-I-L. The chores are not getting done at all. And I mean at all! So that by the time my weekend rolls around I am stuck with laundry and so on from the last break I had. My B-I-L also works where I work( same shift, and is constantly making dinner so that I can get some rest.I am at my last straw. I’ve done everything including literally begging for his attention for me and the kids, but we fight and lately it’s become closer to being violent. You don’t know how bad I wanna throw our computers off the deck, but I’m afraid of his reaction.(I’ve seriously considered this) If things don’t change I will not make it to being married for 1 year. not even close. Sorry so long, I’m just lost. Oh and last night I fell asleep on the side of the bed with the outlet( where he plugs in the laptop to keep it near him. well b’c he couldn’t plug it in, He slept on the floor by another outlet! And he b*$%#es about not getting any!?
MMORPG….. That thing that everyone’s loves, I know alot of players in real life that was additive to online gaming, the only way to really stop an addiction is to have a new one that cancels it out, hope this helps, it’s all about manipulation
Well, I have been playing games since I was 5 years old , from Super mario to Mortal Kombat to Street fighter to shooter games like Call of duty , Modern Warfare.
Okay , im 28 years old and I still play these games ALL NIGHT LONG , it makes me REALLY frustrated , I do not communicate with family , no social life , just playing all day , shower every other day , hardly want to eat , smoke lot of ciggarettes when I am losing or get killed in the game , I stay away till 7am sometimes 8am ( well I used too ) I dont work or go to school , lost close people , lost my gf.
Let me tell you parents something, its very simple , DO NOT keep this thing in your home. BEST to have it the way they did yeaaaars ago. NO t.v , no Internet, No games, ONLY BOOKS. =)
Now its WORSE they are coming out with EVEN BETTER GAMES , with more more realistic graphics, mics , 3d t.vs. Goggles to wear while you are playing and eat phones on while you are playing. You will be a ZOMBIE , your son , bf , whoever , will be affected by this slow acting poison and guess what?
IVE been there and let me tell you , really makes you psycologically FUCKED in the head, you become DUMBER THEN DUMB and real angry , grouchy , outcast.
You can lose your wife , family ,friend , be addictied to drugs , drink and beat someone up with this mental drug called ” GAMING ”
I am really serious , and I know alot of people my age who still play and as I said , its getting WORSE AND WORSE… all that shooting and killing and murder , it will FUK U UP!!! god damn its fun but you will FAIL AT LIFE and that is the end of my comement . PLEASE destroy it. Have a nice day.