This guest article from YourTango was written by Dr. Christie Hartman.

Raise your hand if you’ve heard of oxytocin. If you have, that’s not surprising. To the extent that trends exist for substances that naturally occur in the human body, oxytocin is quite trendy these days.

In our attempt to understand the science of love and attraction, and recently more specifically about cheating, oxytocin has taken center stage, possibly outdoing dopamine in its ability to explain human relationships.

This guest article from YourTango was written by Dawn Michael.

We like to think that the holiday season is a blissful time for all, but for many couples, it can create extra stress to an already rocky marriage.

One of the biggest issues is finances — how do you afford the holiday without going into more debt? Another situation arises when you have a two-income household, with children, now out for two weeks, parents have the added stress of how to make it work.

And of course, there are the in-laws, as well as unwanted family gatherings. So what’s a person to do?

This guest article from YourTango was written by Dr. Christie Hartman

Recently, I joined a group of matchmakers and dating coaches for happy hour. We all introduced ourselves and talked about our specialty areas. I told them about my books, including my latest one, How To Find Mr. Right Online. Eventually, one of the women approached me and asked me a question I’ve been asked many times before by singles and experts:

“Do you think women should email men when online dating?” Without hesitation, I told her “Yes!” Not only is it okay to email men when dating online, it’s a useful tactic.

Here’s why.

This guest article from YourTango was written by Deb Dutilh.

Studies show that a lack of communication is the number one reason couples break up or get divorced. Nagging is a major culprit — relentless reminders, suggestions and advice on how, when and why we should do things.

But what are some of the other bad communication habits that erode away at couples?

1. Being Inauthentic.

How many times do you catch yourself saying “yes” when you really mean “no?” Do you say, “I don’t know” for fear of being judged, dismissed or rejected? When we systematically accept things against our will, shut down to keep the peace and rationalize why that’s okay, we set ourselves up for resentment and anger down the line.

Covering up our feelings and not trusting our partner to be mature enough to manage their response to “no” just won’t work. It’s better to say, “No, I’m not available to discuss this right now. I need to unwind and think about it. I’ll be ready to talk about it in an hour.” Then keep your promise.

This guest article from YourTango was written by Ashley Seeger.

Are you feeling anxious about your upcoming wedding? Sick to your stomach? Having bad dreams? Does the sight of the dress fill you with dread? Feeling like you may have made a mistake saying “yes” or proposing?

If you answered yes, you are experiencing pre-wedding jitters. This is your subconscious telling you that something is not right and you need to listen to it. It may be that you are nervous about your own ability to be a husband or wife, anxious that your fiancé can’t be the spouse you need or both.

Having wedding jitters does not mean that the marriage is doomed or that it is time to call off the wedding. But all jitters mean that an intervention is needed. Something is making you anxious and you need to understand what it is.

This guest article from YourTango was written by Sherry Gaba.

For people who grew up in homes with very controlling or abusive parents, it can be difficult to distinguish between control and concern in dating relationships. Women and men with a history of love addiction often have the same problem.

One way to differentiate between controlling behavior and behavior that is out of concern for you is to take a close look at the specific situation. Extreme reactions to innocent mistakes are a sure sign of control.

There are several early warning signs of a controlling partner. Watch for these tell-tale indicators that the person you’re dating is not merely concerned — he may be controlling and potentially even abusive.

This guest article from YourTango was written by Teresa Maples.

Many women and men dismiss bits of information about their partner that turn out to be warning signs for future trouble. These subtle feelings are actually your gut telling you to pay attention to something.

During the early phase of marriage, most people want to see the good in their spouse. Overall, I think this is a good strategy. However, it is also important and healthy to be able to trust your gut when you feel there is a problem in your relationship and address it with your spouse.

Trusting your gut involves some basic skills, so let’s look at four tips that may help improve the chances of your marriage thriving.

This guest article from YourTango was written by Barbara Becker Holstein. 

Janet and Mike were headed for divorce. So were Sally and Jim. Janet slept in the guest bedroom. She hardly spoke to Mike, unless it was a necessity.

Both had hired lawyers. Sally and Jim also had their divorce lawyers lined up. They hadn’t enjoyed each other’s company in years. Talking led to screaming and both were sick of the fights.

How many infidelities had taken place between these two couples? Surprisingly, the answer was none — no one had acted out in an extramarital affair. Yet all four people — two very different marriages, with different styles and personalities — all were miserable enough to get divorced.

But how come?

This guest article from YourTango was written by Leslie Petruck.

Maintaining a marriage requires intentionality. Just like other relationships, if your marriage doesn’t receive the necessary time and attention, it will deteriorate.

Couples tend to enter marriages with great expectations, bringing both their own histories of hurt and unmet needs. The unspoken expectation that your partner will finally love you the way you desire to be loved is often a setup for failure.

Apathy and contempt in a marriage are warning signs that your marriage needs your attention, and the number one predictor of divorce is conflict avoidance. So, if you and your partner avoid conflict and lack the skills of conflict resolution, your marriage may be in jeopardy.

Dr. John Gottman, marriage and family therapist and leading researcher on marriage, has conducted studies over the span of 40 years to determine the predictors of divorce.

His studies showed that these 6 characteristics of communication predict the likelihood of divorce with 91% accuracy.

This guest article from YourTango was written by Leslie Doares.

The divorce statistics have fluctuated some but basically, they haven’t moved much in years. The rate of divorce for first marriages is close to 50%; for second marriages, it is close to 66%.

So it probably doesn’t come as a surprise that you or someone you know has had experience with divorce.

In my family, the divorce tally is: my parents, two aunts, an uncle, a sister (twice, and a stepbrother. My parents both remarried to spouses who were also divorced. All told, total divorces: 9. Total number of children impacted: 16.

This guest article from YourTango was written by …