YourTango Articles

Money and Relationships: Are You REALLY Fighting About Finances?

Sunday, August 31st, 2014

reasons-have-money-talk-with-partner

Don’t let your money troubles prevent you from having a great relationship.

My husband and I have had countless arguments about money. And we’re not alone; divorce statistics suggest that money is the major cause of most divorces. Suffice it to say that money is a hot topic and one that a lot of relationships struggle with.

However, the source of most of these arguments is not really money. In fact money arguments and stress have three completely different causes.

Relationship Lies: Learn These 4 Dating Myths NOW Ladies

Wednesday, August 27th, 2014

The Secret to Great Relationships of Any Kind

No, you won’t “just know” when you meet the right guy.

Are you totally baffled as to why you only seem to attract men who are far from ideal for you? Are you tired of ending up with men who aren’t ready for the same type of relationship you want?

Before you give up on the possibility of ever meeting a guy who truly measures up, you may want to take a look at how the following so-called “dating rules” may be adversely hurting your chances of finding The One.

Heartbreak Happens: Get Over It!

Friday, August 22nd, 2014

post-breakup-tips

Don’t let one setback stop you from finding love and happiness in the rest of your life.

Life is a series of events. I want you to look at that statement, and then I want you to read it again. Life is a series of events.

In fact, I want you to read it one more time. Life is a series of events. Read it, and say it aloud to yourself six times. Now that that’s lodged firmly in your head, I want to ask you a question: Why does one event traumatize a person so badly?

5 Tips to Keep ‘Keeping Score’ from Ending Your Relationship

Sunday, August 17th, 2014

How to Start Separating Yourself in a Codependent Relationship

Why holding on to your partner’s mistakes will end up hurting you.

We’ve all been there. Your partner has put you off, let you down or totally messed up so many times, you have a running tally going, and it only fuels your irritation and anger.

One woman posted on Reddit a spreadsheet her husband actually created and sent to her that listed off every excuse she’d given him over the past month for not having sex. He included the date, whether or not they had sex and the excuse she gave. He even provided follow up. When she told him, “I need a shower,” he recorded that she didn’t actually shower until the next day.

Obviously, this couple’s relationship is in trouble. It’s clear that there’s something bugging both of them, and it’s probably not only the fact that they’re not having sex as often as the man would like.

4 Tips for Helping Children with Abandonment Issues

Monday, August 11th, 2014

parents-can-learn-from-kids-boy

4 steps for raising a child who doesn’t feel emotionally stranded.

Your child suffers from abandonment issues.

If you are a nurturing parent, you are probably balking at this statement. Most of us associate abandonment with physical conditions, such as inadequate nourishment, inadequate clothing, physical abuse or literally leaving our child without care. If you provide for the well being of your children, how could they possibly feel “abandoned”?

Want a Divorce? Stop the Emotional Yo-Yo and Be Clear About It

Thursday, August 7th, 2014

couple unhappy black male female

Don’t beat around the bush when asking for divorce.

Sheila had been thinking about it for months and she had talked to her girlfriends about it. They were shocked by her admission — she wasn’t sure she loved her husband Jeff any more.

Her friends were shocked because, even after all these years, Jeff seemed to be hopelessly in love with her. But she just wasn’t hopelessly in love with him anymore. She’d made her decision; she was going to tell Jeff she wanted a divorce.

Top 7 Excuses that Suck the Happiness from Your Life

Wednesday, August 6th, 2014

just-be-happy-positive-psychology-smiling-woman

Stop making excuses and go for the things that bring you joy and passion.

As I approached a birthday, one with a ginormous number, a wise coach posed the question: If not now, when? I was grumbling about how I hadn’t been getting enough done when I really wanted to spend more time reading, watching movies and the World Cup; in other words, engaging in activities that would result in getting even less done. If not now, when?, she asked.

My coach had a valid point. Perhaps you, too, use some of these same rationalizations, as you avoid pursuing your passions and desires. Here are some of the things you say to yourself that delay your own happiness.

Losing Intimacy? Try These 5 Exercises to Bring You and Your Partner Closer

Saturday, August 2nd, 2014

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Sometimes, a trip to Paris isn’t enough to solve the problems in your relationship.

Intimacy: everyone wants it, and alluring advertisements suggest that you can easily have it if you go to the right beautiful spot. You only need to get to the beach of a particular resort or the right romantic bed and breakfast, and you can be like the couples in the pictures, who are walking on the sand, arms around each other, toasting over dinner with their eyes locked.

Sadly, it’s not really that easy. I knew a couple who saved for a vacation in Hawaii where they had honeymooned 15 years earlier. When they returned from the trip, the man told me, “I know now I have to leave the relationship; even in Hawaii, in such a beautiful place where we’d had our best time, I couldn’t feel ‘it.’”

Death in the Family: How I Found Myself After Losing My Mother

Saturday, July 26th, 2014

Mirror Reflection of an Eye

How I lost her but learned a lot about myself along the way.

I would like to start this by saying that this isn’t a typical love story about a woman who wakes up one day and falls face first into self-discovery — but it comes pretty close. When I was sixteen, my mother died after battling breast cancer for the second time, passing through a rotating door of radiation treatments that eventually left holes in her lungs. I remember feeling empty. Like there was this large piece of me missing and I couldn’t find it — A hole in the center of my chest for everyone to see.

But, that’s not what this story is all about. You see, until this point, I had never even been around this country, let alone another one. When I was younger, my mother used to go on a lot of trips; once a year, she would travel the world — She always went alone, and never to the same place twice.

To Pucker Up… Or Not: How Cosmetics Can Affect Your Relationships

Friday, July 25th, 2014

lipstick

Are you making the right makeup choices in order to find — and keep the one?

As a woman, it’s no surprise to you that just about every lady has an interesting relationship with makeup. You may have a daily routine with lipstick, eyeshadow or a magic concealer that you can’t go without. You may have a signature look that makes you feel confident. You may even hate it, but wear it for certain occasions for different reasons.

You may be surprised, but this tumultuous relationship with makeup actually influences love life. Is it for the better or worse?

6 Tricks to Feel Happy Any Time of the Day (or Night!)

Thursday, July 24th, 2014

happiness life purpose

Happiness is almost always possible, if you know how to look for it.

Sometimes when you’re feeling sadness or grief or hopelessness, do you give up on feeling happy? Let’s try on a new habit — expecting at least tastes of happiness even in hard times. Here are 6 ways to experience happiness most any day.

Anxious? Stressed? Depressed? Hire Nature as Your Therapist

Thursday, July 17th, 2014

Mysterious path

Stressed out? Let nature calm you down.

For the past ten years I have taken a small group of people into the woods for a seven-day retreat in the fall. Every year, I am amazed at the healing effects of this. By the end of the week, everyone is blissful, at peace and alive in ways they were not when they arrived.

Each year, at least one person experiences a radical, life-changing shift. They have the tools to endure suffering better than they have in the past.

Now Japanese scientific studies prove that “forest bathing” or taking a walk in the woods, can have a profound effect on the immune system and the elimination of stress and anxiety. Yoshifumi Miyazaki, director of the Center for Environment Health and Field Sciences at Chiba University and the head researcher on the project, said, “humans had lived in nature for 5 million years. We were made to fit a natural environment. So we feel stress in an urban area…When we are exposed to nature, our bodies go back to how they should be.” In fact, “forest bathing” is a standard preventative medicine in Japan for those at risk of stress-induced diseases.

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