YourTango Articles

How to Determine Whether It’s ‘Love’ Or ‘Lust’

Friday, November 21st, 2014

the-pill-dampen-sexualityNot sure about your feelings? Here’s how to know if what you are feeling is really love.

Moving from “like” to “love” is one of the most important transitions a couple can make. Unfortunately, it’s also one of the most misunderstood ones. Too many couples think that love is the same as lust. This equates love with the ooey-gooey excitement and breathless anticipation that usually occurs at the beginning of a relationship.

Defining love this way makes it into a feeling and the down side is that feelings come and go. If you don’t want your love to wax and wane with your emotions, you probably don’t want to define love solely as something you feel. Our culture doesn’t give us a lot of other options for a definition of true love, though. If it’s not just a feeling, then what else is it?

Single? Here Are 9 Ways to Enrich Your Own Life!

Monday, November 17th, 2014

single-holidays-pumpkin

Just because you choose to live a single life doesn’t mean you have to feel alone!

There are a lot of reasons to remain single these days, and many women are happy to do so. Unfortunately, other people often view single women with pity or misunderstanding. They think single women sit home every night eating Ben and Jerry’s by the gallon, feeling lonely and miserable.

But studies show that single people actually have more active lives than married people; they’re more likely to go out, be involved in their communities, join groups, have more friends and be more social!

10 Questions to Avoid Passive-Aggressive Co-Parenting

Wednesday, November 12th, 2014

Teenage girl in trouble with parents

Your child is hears (and feels) all of those subtle pot-shots you take at your ex.

Everyone knows the basics of co-parenting: stay kid-focused, don’t use your kids as messengers, never use your kids as scapegoats, show up on time, and don’t talk negatively about your ex in front of your kids. It all seems pretty straight-forward and doable — at least it does on the surface.

But real-life isn’t lived on the surface and sometimes, in all of that “trying” to be nice, you’re actually just being passive-aggressive and probably doing more harm than good. Most of the time it’s pretty obvious whether or not you’re taking care of the basics. You know if you’re staying kid-focused, or using your kids as messengers or scapegoats, or showing up on time, but what might not be as obvious is whether you’re putting out more toxic energy and negativity about your ex in front of your children than you realize.

Try These 3 Tricks to Improve Your Self-Esteem

Thursday, November 6th, 2014

Self Confidence

It’s time to clean off the mud to reveal the true you.

You are in many settings throughout your day, and whether you’re at home, at work, at the gym, having a meal, engaged in personal time, interacting with your kids, partner, friends, or co-workers, your self-esteem affects 100 percent of how you appear in those situations and relationships.

Some of these instances might involve conflict, and how you feel (good or bad, happy or sad, respected or taken advantage of, abused or abusive — physically, mentally or emotionally) has everything to do with how you’ll respond. This is your self-esteem.

Solve These 5 Huge Long-Distance Relationship Problems

Tuesday, November 4th, 2014

How to Ask for Help in a CrisisBeing involved in a long-distance relationship is not the easiest thing in the world.

The physical distance alone can be devastating to all but the strongest bonds, but there are other factors that complicate things, too. Here, we look at some of these “mischief-makers” and how to deal with them successfully.

Finding a soulmate is hard enough; keeping one intact across the oceans is a different ball-game altogether!

Can a Better Romantic Relationship Lead to Better Parenting?

Wednesday, October 29th, 2014

Happy Family

Do you believe your partner should come before your kids?

I read this quote recently:

“The best thing a society can do for itself is to promote and support healthy couples, and the best thing partners can do for themselves, for their children, and for society is to have a healthy relationship.”

- Harville Hendrix, author of Getting the Love You Want

Seriously? The “best” thing we can do for our kids is to have a good relationship with our partners? That’s fine in theory, but what if our relationship is just okay, or good sometimes with long periods of mediocrity, or mostly bad with occasional moments of happiness? What then?

Stop Looking for a ‘Soulmate’ and Start Looking for a ‘Life Partner’

Monday, October 27th, 2014

Marriage

Still looking for your perfect mate? You may have already found them.

Soulmates can be defined in many different ways. Most of us search high and low for many years, braving the ups and downs of relationships and love, wondering if we are with our soulmate or if such a person even exists.

I have found there are some concrete things to consider if you don’t think you are with your soulmate or are still in search of that perfect someone who will change your life.

5 Signs Your Mate Is Overly Critical

Monday, October 27th, 2014

Young Couple Arguing

Is he ultra sensitive about the words you use? You might want to move on ASAP.

As a body language expert, I observe the ways couples interact with each other. Over the years I’ve identified several types of toxic relationships that fall into a category of romance that I’ve termed “psychological demons disguised as love.”

You Must Learn to Love Yourself Before Extending Love to Others

Thursday, October 23rd, 2014

loves-me-loves-me-not-flower-woman

Sometimes joy is found, not in what you receive, but in what you finally let go.

I can pinpoint “the happiest moment of my life” almost to the second. I was on a plane taxiing down a runway en-route to visit my parents in Chicago. The airline attendant began the all too familiar announcement: “Should oxygen be required, a mask will drop down from a compartment above your seat … if you’re traveling with an infant or someone in your care, make sure to secure your own mask first.”

The depth of those words suddenly hit me. Secure your own mask first. Being a mother now, I can hardly imagine the idea of putting myself before my child. Yet, at that moment, I understood this profound truth: You must love yourself and make yourself happy before you can extend that love and happiness to others.

Don’t Get Stressed Out Trying to Chill Out!

Tuesday, October 14th, 2014

stress

Yoga and meditation will never help you de-stress until you understand this first.

Are you tired and fed up of being told that you need to de-stress your life? Are you confused over what you “should” do (versus what you “want” to do) because there are so many methods and “musts” about how de-stressing should be handled?

Try meditation. Now do yoga. Make time for that time management courses. And don’t forget tai-chi, regular massage, and regular running or swimming. Feeling stressed? Just hold your nose and let it go slowly to breath. Then, take a long walk while taping on your acupuncture points, uttering mantras … just don’t trip and fall while also doing your positive visualizations?

I could go on and on but you I’ll bet you get the picture.

21 Warning Signs of an Emotionally Abusive Relationship

Monday, October 13th, 2014

Signs of Emotional Abuse

Is it possible that you are being abused and not even know it?

Domestic violence is once again in the forefront of the news. This is in part due to abusive incidents with sports figures or celebrities that have become very public. Abuse is not always as obvious as being hit or shoved, called degrading names or cussed out. In fact, it can very well be underhanded or subtle.

You may find yourself feeling confused about the relationship, off balance or like you are “walking on eggshells” all the time. This is the kind of abuse that often sneaks up on you as you become more entrenched in the relationship. I am talking here about psychological abuse, which is also known as mental or emotional abuse.

5 Warning Signs You’re Being Objectified

Wednesday, October 8th, 2014

Where is the line between healthy attraction and objectification? Know the warning signs now!

A new study shows that objectification can be linked to sexual coercion in romantic relationships. This is not surprising, for several reasons. More alarmingly, objectification is also statistically linked to sexual violence. This is also not surprising.

So how do you tell the difference between objectification and healthy attraction?

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