Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt: Coping with Trauma

The original 2015 Netflix series Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt, starring Ellie Kemper, is pure comedy at its finest as quirky -- and certainly bubbly -- 29 year-old Kimmy Schmidt moves from Indiana to New York City for a fresh start. She finds a home with Titus, the dramatic and eccentric roommate looking for stardom (played by Tituss Burgess), has adventures with Lillian, the tough-as-nails and offbeat landlord (played by Carol Kane), and begins to work as a nanny for Jacqueline, a snobby but lovable socialite (played by Jane Krakowski).

But underneath the literally laugh out loud dialogue and hilarity is a serious -- and comparatively unique -- storyline. In episode one, we learn that Kimmy was kidnapped along with three other young women by a reverend who told them the world was ending; she spent fifteen years of her life immersed in an apocalypse cult, living in an underground bunker until they were finally freed.
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Retroactive Jealousy vs ‘Regular’ Jealousy in a Relationship

We all know what “regular” jealousy in a relationship looks like. The guy who demands his girlfriend text him every hour when she’s on a night out. The wife who secretly trails her husband wherever he goes like a private investigator, and so on.

These are extreme examples, but the reason for jealous behavior like this in people is a fairly straightforward fear of losing the one they love to someone else. While this fear is usually totally unfounded and irrational, it’s grounded in reality in the sense that their partner could theoretically fall in love with that handsome new work colleague, or have a fling with a random girl they met on Tinder.

Retroactive jealousy on the other hand is a condition in which people find themselves feeling jealous, angry and upset about people their partner once dated or had sex with in the past.
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The Importance of Friendship in Marriage

Friend is simply defined by Merriam Webster Dictionary as “a person who you like and enjoy being with,” and Best Friend as “one’s closest and dearest friend.” Friends have similar interests and best friends even share the joys and sorrows of life. Having your spouse as your best friend can be one of the great benefits of marriage. If you and your spouse are already best friends, that’s wonderful; if not, maybe it’s time to understand the importance of friendship in marriage.

Relationship expert John Gottman, professor at the University of Washington, and author of The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work, says "Happy marriages are based on a deep friendship" and that friendship is the core of a strong marriage. Gottman's research has shown that a high quality friendship in a marriage is an important predictor in romantic and physical satisfaction.
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If You Don’t Have One True Calling, That’s a Good Thing — Here’s Why

One of the most significant generational differences between millennials and older members of the workforce is the contrasting mindset around career path.

Not so long ago, the average employee joined a company straight out of college, worked his or her way up from entry level to middle ground, and eventually joined the upper echelons of management, hardly stopping to give other employers a second glance. There was a much more linear development of career growth, which also included now-mythical concepts such as pensions and six weeks of accrued paid time off.
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What to Do When Your Partner Doesn’t Support Your Career Dreams

Does the idea of selling something to someone you love sound sleazy or conjure up images of a salesman with a greasy mustache and bad suit promising low, low prices on used cars?

We tend to confine our thinking about sales to business contexts – and more often than not it’s something we seek to avoid or shy away from.

But think back to the last time you put your best influencer skills to work, whether that...
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How to Know if Summer Love Can Last

Summertime means barbecues, lazy pool days, vacations, and sometimes summer love. The summer season can bring less stress, relaxed vibes, carefree attitudes and an opportunity to escape from our typical routines. That breezy attitude helps us let our guard down. And that makes it easier to meet someone who could become a more serious love interest.

Many of those summer loves will end as the season does. But perhaps you think you have made a real love connection with a summer love and want to continue being together into the fall. How will you know if your summer fling could last another season?
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Dating and Money: Must a Feminist Pay?

Who pays on dates? It used to be simple. The guy did the asking and the paying. Today it’s less clear, as we can see from this range of views:

Tom, 26, says he paid for the first five or six dates with his girlfriend of three years, who’s 29. “She felt bad about me always paying, so sometimes she does. “But I usually pay,” he adds, “and the guy is always expected to pay for the first date. I pay more because it’s the gentlemanly thing to do. If you’re a guy, it feels good to take a woman out to dinner.”
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3 Signs You Might Be Carrying Your Mother’s Insecurities

You may feel inadequate, filled with self-doubt, and don't know why. This may be stealing your confidence and joy in ways that are hidden to you. You may be so used to living this way you aren’t even aware that life could feel any different. Many daughters carry their mother's sense of unworthiness into their own lives without knowing it.

Behind many a demanding or controlling mother is an insecure person worrying that she will be found out, or a meek and mild wounded mother who isn’t outwardly critical but drags her daughter down in more subtle ways… never letting her fully live up to her potential.
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3 More Ways to Cultivate Our Personal Power

The way we see ourselves affects everything. In particular, when we see ourselves in a negative light, we actually take away our own power. We take away our power to make positive, supportive choices. We may give our power to others -- people who don’t deserve it, who don’t have our best interests at heart.

According to psychotherapist Lisa Richberg, LMHC, when we see ourselves negatively, we might believe: I am not good enough. We might believe: I am not smart enough, attractive enough, athletic, productive, capable, or creative enough.

“We relinquish our personal power when we let our boundaries slip, allowing others to take advantage of us.”
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Early Warning Signs Your Relationship Is Making You Depressed

Everyone dreams of meeting their soul mate. Our brains actually encourage us to fall in love when we meet someone who we connect with by increasing the production of the hormone oxytocin, also known as the love hormone. Oxytocin production increases early on in a relationship and enhances the feelings associated with finding new love.   

Eventually the relationship evolves, the honeymoon phase passes and each person's...
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Children and Teens

Crippled by Self-Doubt? Your Impostor Syndrome Could Have Roots in Childhood

Do you ever feel like you somehow got away with landing your job without truly deserving it? Do you feel super uncomfortable when your boss praises your work, because you’re sure you haven’t earned it? Do you have a fear of being “found out,” exposed for not being experienced, talented, successful, or knowledgeable enough for your job?

You might be experiencing something called Impostor Syndrome. And you wouldn’t be alone: more than 70% of people report experiencing Impostor Syndrome at some point in their career.
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5 Tips for Doing It All–Really!

We often hear and read that we can’t do it all. We must pick and choose. We need to make serious sacrifices. We can either have a great career or a great family. We either volunteer or have a side business. But we need to resign ourselves to the fact that we can't have everything. It’s a message women regularly receive.

However, writer and author Linda Formichelli asserts that we can do it all. For instance, if your version of doing it all means cultivating a connected family, building a fulfilling career, enjoying fun hobbies, and traveling regularly, you can have that.
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