Memory and Perception

Tell Your Therapist About the Abuse

“Unresolved emotional pain is the great contagion of our time -- of all time.” ~ Marc Ian Barasch
Imagine you are seeing a therapist and have an abuse history. It's safe to assume that you've already talked to the therapist about the abuse. Right? It would make sense, and yet, again and again I hear other abuse survivors say they've postponed talking to their therapist about the abuse.

The phrase “child abuse” becomes easily stuck in a victim’s throat. The abuser may distort the events that occurred so we aren’t sure of what happened. Sometimes, we’re so young when the abuse occurred we barely understand what was going on. Memory also plays tricks. In an attempt to insulate us from terrifying experiences, memory can become a block of Swiss cheese with holes in it everywhere.
Continue Reading


Surprising Differences between Lonely Women and Lonely Men

It’s certainly true that men and women handle negative emotional states differently. When things aren’t going well in a woman’s life, she tends to interpret it as depression. When a man doesn’t feel good about himself, he tends to express it as anger.

But men and women have loneliness in common. Do they handle it differently? Who's more prone to it? Who’s better at overcoming it? Let’s find out.

Continue Reading


Psychology Around the Net: November 21, 2015

With Thanksgiving just a few days away, we're in the throes of the holiday season here in America; unfortunately, this isn't a happy time for all. However, psychologists have a few tips and tricks to keep your holiday blues in check.

Of course, we've also got the latest on sex and happiness, how a mother's age could affect her daughter's mental health, whether your child's ADHD medication puts him or her at risk for bullying, and more.

Have a happy Saturday!

Continue Reading


How Babies Change Relationships

Sheryl and Larry tied the knot five years ago. As educated, career-oriented people, they entered into a modern marriage. “I wouldn’t dream of marrying a man who believed that I should be doing the housework and child care while he put his feet up in front of the TV after work. That kind of thinking repulses me. And Larry’s not that kind of guy; he’s always been supportive of me and my career. That’s why I’m so confused now,” said Sheryl as she tried hard to hold back the tears.

“Since Josh was born 14 months ago, everything’s changed. I still work full-time but somehow, I’ve become the one in charge of all the never-ending tasks. Yes, Larry offers to help, saying, ‘just tell me what you want me to do.’ I could choke him when he says that. He just doesn’t get it.”

Continue Reading

Borderline Personality

Borderline Personality Disorder: Facts vs. Myths

Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) is a serious psychiatric condition marked by a pattern of unstable and stormy relationships, an unformed sense of identity, chronic feelings of emptiness and boredom, unstable moods, and poor impulsive control in areas such as spending, eating, sex, and substance use.

Fear surrounding real or imagined abandonment from loved ones is a profound concern for people with BPD and often is what underlies their destructive behaviors. Some people with BPD will go to dangerous lengths to avoid this fear, for example, by becoming suicidal or engaging in self-mutilation.
Continue Reading


3 Challenges Unique to Women with ADHD and How to Overcome Them

As a woman with ADHD, you might try your best to keep everything together. But because of your symptoms, it’s that much harder to pay attention, prioritize, perform, get organized and complete tasks. ADHD affects every facet of your life. It comes with a variety of challenges -- some of which are especially unique to women.

The good news is that you can successfully navigate these challenges. The key isn’t to work “harder,” which you’ve likely already tried. And tried.

Instead, it’s to be open to other strategies and perspectives; and be OK with seeking help.
Continue Reading


Do You Suffer from Post-Coital Dysphoria or ‘Post-Sex Blues’?

If you've experienced depression after intercourse, you aren't alone.

According to a study published in the International Journal of Sexual Health, one in three of more than 200 young women surveyed have experienced "post-coital dysphoria" or "post-sex blues" following intercourse -- even satisfactory intercourse.

One would assume that following great sex, we're all left feeling spent, relaxed, rested and satiated. On the contrary, some of us feel great distress, want to curl up in a ball and cry for no apparent reason. Because there's very little research surrounding this condition, it's not easy to explain, and it's challenging to diagnose.
Continue Reading


It’s Okay to Be Angry, Unless You’re a Woman

During the recent Democratic presidential debate, Vermont Senator Bernie Sanders swiped a question originally directed at Hillary Clinton, saying, “The American people are sick and tired of hearing about your damn emails.” Imagine if Hillary had said that herself. They might be polling differently today.

Women who show anger aren’t taken as seriously as their male counterparts, according to a
Continue Reading


Improving Communication in Relationships

To paraphrase a realtor’s mantra, the three keys to a successful marriage are "communication, communication, and communication." Without good communication skills and quality time dedicated to communicating, relationships soon flounder and fail, especially among couples with the stress of careers and a full family life. Couples need to learn that their relationship is not a thing, but a process.

There are three basic steps to being a good listener and therefore a good communicator:

Stay on the subject.
Listen to be sure you are staying on the subject.
Adapt your behavior if you aren’t staying on the subject.

How can you keep healthy communication lines open? Recognize and implement these requirements:

Continue Reading


The Power of Relationship Assumptions

We all make relationship assumptions. We assume what another person is feeling or thinking. We assume how that person is going to respond to us. We create a story in our heads about how others see us, how they judge us or whether they like or care about us.

We make these assumptions all the time, but we don’t realize that they are assumptions. We treat them as absolute truth. We believe them without hesitation. We’re often wrong.

Continue Reading