Anxiety and Panic

Breaking Up with My PTSD: The Reality of Recovering from Haunting Trauma

My almost life-long companion and I are actually breaking up. I should be more specific. What I’m breaking up with is more exactly known as C-PTSD, a form of PTSD. I think we’re in the final stages of our separation. It’s been a long and drawn-out breakup because that’s how it goes with C-PTSD. Once you get to know it well, you practice breaking up with it every day. Some days require more sorting out and negotiation than others.

It’s been around a long time for me. My children have all become very familiar with it even though they didn’t know what they’re really seeing. Most people outside of our home never even knew it was around.
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Children and Teens

Maintaining Your Sense of Self as a Stay-At-Home Mom

I don’t know who I am other than mom. Even when I have the time and can do whatever I want, I don’t know what I like to do anymore. I feel invisible. I only feel valued for the things I do for others. I have nothing to talk about aside from my kids. I wonder if they’ll think I’m boring.

Clinical psychologist Jessica Michaelson, PsyD, often hears these statements from her clients. It’s not that being a stay-at-home mom is inherently bad or damaging to our sense of self. In fact, if it aligns with your core values, it can absolutely strengthen it, said Michaelson, who specializes in postpartum depression and anxiety, stress management and parent coaching.
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General

Recovering from Your Affair

If you are the one who cheated, you are probably dealing with emotions of guilt and shame. Perhaps you are even angry with yourself or your spouse. You may also be experiencing grief from the loss of your affair partner or fear of losing your spouse. Dealing with all of these emotions is essential for putting the pieces of your life back together and for your affair recovery. Attending therapy with a Marriage and Family Therapist with vast experience in affair recovery can be indispensable in the recovery process.
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Marriage and Divorce

Smart Tips for Couples When One Partner Makes More Money

It might sound pretty sweet to have your partner taking care of you financially, but some people can feel uncomfortable and even inadequate if their spouse or partner makes more money than they do. Many of us, particularly men, have been taught that it is our job to be the providers and protectors for our partners and children, and this role can seem threatened when our partner is bringing in the majority, or all, of the income.

For years men were almost exclusively in the breadwinner role. However, that has been changing for the last few decades, causing a big shift in roles and incomes as more and more women become the breadwinners in their families. According to the Bureau of Labor Statistics,
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Books

Reconnecting with Your Partner After Postpartum Depression

Having a baby tends to change your marriage. How could it not? You’re adding another (beautiful) human being to your household. A human being who requires you to fulfill their every need, usually every few minutes, and who rarely lets you sleep. And most of us aren’t exactly at our best when we’re sleep deprived, stressed and spent.

When you add postpartum depression (PPD) to the mix, your marriage might feel especially fragile. Even after you’ve recovered from PPD, your foundation may be shaky. You might feel disconnected from each other. You’re physically in the same house, in the same room, and yet your hearts are many miles apart.
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Celebrities

Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt: Coping with Trauma

The original 2015 Netflix series Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt, starring Ellie Kemper, is pure comedy at its finest as quirky -- and certainly bubbly -- 29 year-old Kimmy Schmidt moves from Indiana to New York City for a fresh start. She finds a home with Titus, the dramatic and eccentric roommate looking for stardom (played by Tituss Burgess), has adventures with Lillian, the tough-as-nails and offbeat landlord (played by Carol Kane), and begins to work as a nanny for Jacqueline, a snobby but lovable socialite (played by Jane Krakowski).

But underneath the literally laugh out loud dialogue and hilarity is a serious -- and comparatively unique -- storyline. In episode one, we learn that Kimmy was kidnapped along with three other young women by a reverend who told them the world was ending; she spent fifteen years of her life immersed in an apocalypse cult, living in an underground bunker until they were finally freed.
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General

Retroactive Jealousy vs ‘Regular’ Jealousy in a Relationship

We all know what “regular” jealousy in a relationship looks like. The guy who demands his girlfriend text him every hour when she’s on a night out. The wife who secretly trails her husband wherever he goes like a private investigator, and so on.

These are extreme examples, but the reason for jealous behavior like this in people is a fairly straightforward fear of losing the one they love to someone else. While this fear is usually totally unfounded and irrational, it’s grounded in reality in the sense that their partner could theoretically fall in love with that handsome new work colleague, or have a fling with a random girl they met on Tinder.

Retroactive jealousy on the other hand is a condition in which people find themselves feeling jealous, angry and upset about people their partner once dated or had sex with in the past.
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Friends

The Importance of Friendship in Marriage

Friend is simply defined by Merriam Webster Dictionary as “a person who you like and enjoy being with,” and Best Friend as “one’s closest and dearest friend.” Friends have similar interests and best friends even share the joys and sorrows of life. Having your spouse as your best friend can be one of the great benefits of marriage. If you and your spouse are already best friends, that’s wonderful; if not, maybe it’s time to understand the importance of friendship in marriage.

Relationship expert John Gottman, professor at the University of Washington, and author of The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work, says "Happy marriages are based on a deep friendship" and that friendship is the core of a strong marriage. Gottman's research has shown that a high quality friendship in a marriage is an important predictor in romantic and physical satisfaction.
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ADHD and ADD

If You Don’t Have One True Calling, That’s a Good Thing — Here’s Why

One of the most significant generational differences between millennials and older members of the workforce is the contrasting mindset around career path.

Not so long ago, the average employee joined a company straight out of college, worked his or her way up from entry level to middle ground, and eventually joined the upper echelons of management, hardly stopping to give other employers a second glance. There was a much more linear development of career growth, which also included now-mythical concepts such as pensions and six weeks of accrued paid time off.
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College

What to Do When Your Partner Doesn’t Support Your Career Dreams

Does the idea of selling something to someone you love sound sleazy or conjure up images of a salesman with a greasy mustache and bad suit promising low, low prices on used cars?

We tend to confine our thinking about sales to business contexts – and more often than not it’s something we seek to avoid or shy away from.

But think back to the last time you put your best influencer skills to work, whether that...
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General

How to Know if Summer Love Can Last

Summertime means barbecues, lazy pool days, vacations, and sometimes summer love. The summer season can bring less stress, relaxed vibes, carefree attitudes and an opportunity to escape from our typical routines. That breezy attitude helps us let our guard down. And that makes it easier to meet someone who could become a more serious love interest.

Many of those summer loves will end as the season does. But perhaps you think you have made a real love connection with a summer love and want to continue being together into the fall. How will you know if your summer fling could last another season?
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General

Dating and Money: Must a Feminist Pay?

Who pays on dates? It used to be simple. The guy did the asking and the paying. Today it’s less clear, as we can see from this range of views:


Tom, 26, says he paid for the first five or six dates with his girlfriend of three years, who’s 29. “She felt bad about me always paying, so sometimes she does. “But I usually pay,” he adds, “and the guy is always expected to pay for the first date. I pay more because it’s the gentlemanly thing to do. If you’re a guy, it feels good to take a woman out to dinner.”
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