This guest article from YourTango was written by Virginia Clark.

Your mindset is everything when it comes to helping you find love. I’m not just talking about romantic love. I’m talking about love, overall. Love is a state of mind that either is or isn’t something you cultivate.

Wikipedia defines mindset as:

A set of assumptions, methods or notations held by one or more people, that creates a powerful incentive within these people or groups to continue to adopt or accept prior behaviors, choices, or tools.

Your mindset is how you approach the world. If you let it run wild, it will compel you to make the same choices over and over again. No one is exempt from having a mindset. We all have one. It’s like a filter through which you perceive your reality.

All romantic relationships have challenges and require some work. Being in a relationship with someone who has Asperger’s syndrome (AS) can create an additional challenge, according to psychologist Cindy Ariel, Ph.D, in her valuable book, Loving Someone with Asperger’s Syndrome.

That’s because you and your partner think and feel very differently, she says. And that leaves a lot of room for misunderstanding and miscommunication.

In her book, Ariel provides wise advice and practical exercises to help you improve your relationship and overcome common obstacles. (She suggests keeping a journal to record your responses.) Here are five ideas you might find helpful.

I’m pleased to announce a free Psych Central webinar on the topic of the impact of anger in a marriage or romantic partnership with an adult with attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD).

Anger is one of those emotions we’re taught to suppress and many of us simply don’t know how to handle it. This webinar will help folks better understand the role of anger in a relationships, and ways with dealing with it.

Here are a few of the topics they’ll cover:

• Why effort and willpower are no match for ADHD treatment in curbing anger

• How anger erodes trust and creates anxiety
• The gender difference in coping with anger
• How untreated ADHD anger can lead to low self-esteem, dwindling self-confidence, and depression
• ADHD-specific anger-management techniques, tools, and treatment that work
• …and more!

A Q & A will also be included.

The webinar is this Thursday, May 10 from 8:00 PM – 9:00 PM EDT.

There are few things in life as stressful as a failing relationship. When two people are fighting, feeling distant, and struggling to understand each another, they often turn to couples counseling to help strengthen and rebuild their bond.

Couples counseling can be an intense experience for both partners. Many people have seen their intimacy grow, their communication improve, and their relationship flourish during therapy. Joint counseling can help people see their strengths and weaknesses, both as individuals and partners.

Yet therapy, especially when it involves a couple, often is fraught with strong feelings and emotions. It also can be time-consuming, expensive, and, at times, painful.

This guest article from YourTango was written by Dr. Joe Kort. 

While some people are inappropriately labeled “sex addicts” — providing a blanket excuse for all kinds of irresponsible sexual behavior — others truly suffer from uncontrollable sexual impulses, or sex addiction.

Someone with sex addiction isn’t just someone who loves sex. The main symptoms of sex addiction include a loss of control, failed attempts to stop unwanted sexual behavior, and a pattern of negative consequences from anxiety to depression and legal problems.

Here are some quick facts about sex addiction you may not know…

Today, many people view their bodies as strangers, at best, or adversaries, at worst. They feel like their bodies have betrayed them. That they don’t deserve care or compassion because they look — or rather don’t look — a certain way. Because no matter what they do, their bodies don’t listen, don’t respond.

Maybe you feel like that, too. Or maybe you’ve simply forgotten about your body. In the hustle and bustle of everyday life, maybe you don’t have the time to focus on your body – or the desire.

Many people have a crummy relationship with their bodies. Either they bash their bodies with repeated insults or criticisms, or they neglect their needs and stop practicing good self-care. (Or both.)

Our society, of course, doesn’t help. It’s primed and ready to swoop in and offer a “successful” solution: a diet food, weight-loss tip or fitness overhaul. This only boosts body shame and might’ve even sparked your body dissatisfaction in the first place.

It’s common to have some concerns and worries about being pregnant, having a healthy child, giving birth, and parenting your little one, according to Pamela S. Wiegartz, Ph.D, and Kevin L. Gyoerkoe, PsyD, in their book, The Pregnancy & Postpartum Anxiety Workbook: Practical Skills to Help You Overcome Anxiety, Worry, Panic Attacks, Obsessions and Compulsions.

However, for some moms-to-be, anxiety becomes so severe and distressing that they’re unable to function day-to-day.

It’s only recently — over about the last decade — that researchers have begun exploring anxiety in pregnancy. Consequently, much more work is still needed.

But here’s what we do know.

It takes continuous practice to maintain a positive body image. Think of it as a skill that needs attention and sharpening.

And that’s a great thing. It means that you can lift a low body image at any time. While it’s not easy, there are practical, concrete ways you can improve how you see your body — and yourself.

Below, Joyce Marter, LCPC, a psychotherapist and owner of Urban Balance, LLC, a multi-site counseling practice in the greater Chicago area, offers five ideas to do just that.

Moms aren’t the only ones who struggle with postpartum depression. Dads struggle, too.

In this 2010 meta-analysis published in The Journal of the American Medical Association, researchers reviewed 43 studies with over 28,000 participants and found that 10 percent of men had prenatal or postpartum depression. That’s more than double the rate of men who suffer from depression in the general population — 4.8 percent.

Symptoms of Depression

In their book The Pregnancy & Postpartum Anxiety Workbook: Practical Skills to Help You Overcome Anxiety, Worry, Panic Attacks, Obsessions and Compulsions, authors Pamela S. Wiegartz, Ph.D, and Kevin L. Gyoerkoe, PsyD, note that depression can strike dads at any time, from their wife’s pregnancy to months after their child’s birth.

Symptoms of depression can include depressed mood; loss of interest in activities; fatigue; changes in sleep; changes in appetite or weight; difficulty concentrating or making decisions; feelings of guilt or worthlessness; and thoughts of death or suicide.

Men, however, may struggle with different symptoms. The lead author of the above meta-analysis, James Paulson, told Scientific American (in this piece by Katherine Harmon) that some researchers have called for a change in the diagnostic criteria because men tend to struggle with irritability, detachment and emotional withdrawal.

One of the key ingredients to a successful, strong relationship is constant, consistent, and strong communication. Although this skill comes easier for some (more often women than not), both partners need to work on communication in a relationship.

A relationship where communication is weak or non-existent is a relationship where at least one party is likely not getting their needs met.

Communication isn’t just, “Hey, how was your day, dear?” It’s talking about simmering resentments and the big life issues in a reasonable and respectful manner. It’s finding ways to open up your heart — and your mind — to really listen to what the other person is trying to say.

In this video, Psych Central’s Ask the Therapists Daniel J. Tomasulo, Ph.D. & Marie Hartwell-Walker, Ed.D. discuss the issue of how to improve communication in your romantic relationship. Find out more by watching the segment below:

This guest article from YourTango was written by Dr. Bruce Derman. 

Should I stay or should I go?

If your marriage is on the line and you’re considering divorcing your spouse, you may have had some of the following thoughts:

I feel like I need to end this so-called marriage. Yet, how can I be sure? / Some days I feel more confident of my decision than others / A part of me still loves and/or cares for him. / I don’t think I am in love with him but what if I make a mistake? / Many people will be affected by my decision. / Maybe I’m being too hasty. / If only he would just change his behavior …

Or, maybe your spouse wants a divorce. In that case, you’ve probably had some of the following thoughts:

Divorce? Where did that come from? Two weeks ago, we were talking about going on a vacation! / I had no idea our marriage was this awful./ I am shocked and devastated./ I have to find a way to stop this. / Maybe this is all a dream and when I wake up things will be back to normal.

Many books and articles assume that once a couple says they want a divorce, they are truly ready for it. However, that’s often not the case. In fact, usually, when couples begin the divorce process, either one or both partners are not really ready at all.

This guest article from YourTango was written by Richard Drobnick. 

Men and women are different in many ways. They see the world through completely different perspectives. The key to understanding their differences is in the way that men and women communicate.

Here are six important communication differences that you should be aware of, to help improve your communications with your partner and make them smoother and more effective.

1. Why Talk?

He believes communication should have a clear purpose. Behind every conversation is a problem that needs solving or a point that needs to be made. Communication is used to get to the root of the dilemma as efficiently as possible.

She uses communication to discover how she is feeling and what it is she wants to say. She sees conversation as an act of sharing and an opportunity to increase intimacy with her partner. Through sharing, she releases negative feelings and solidifies her bond with the man she loves.