Anger

6 Tips for De-Escalating an Argument

Arguments are a part of most relationships, friendships, and workplaces. Humans are social creatures, and inevitably we will come across a person's perspective or a topic area with which we disagree. While we try our best to be respectful, it can be difficult keeping things neutral.

If arguing is a normal part of life, how do we do it better? How can we de-escalate an argument, keeping a minor disagreement from turning into a major blowout?

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Personal

8 Warning Signs for Silent Domestic Abuse Victims


Do NOT miss these signals.

As the founder of a nonprofit that serves domestic abuse victims, I get a ton of emails from women who are reaching out for help -- not because they are abused, but because they aren't sure if they are being abused at all.

And as a domestic violence survivor myself who was married to an abuser for eight years, I'm going to let you in on a little secret here: If you're wondering if you're being abused, there's a good chance that you are.

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General

Massachusetts: Third-World Mental Health Care?

There are few states that have a more broken mental health care system than Massachusetts. You'd probably think of poorer, more rural states when you think of low-quality healthcare. After all, Massachusetts is home to some of the nation's best universities (Harvard, MIT) and renowned hospital systems (Mass. General [Partners], Brigham & Women's, Beth Israel).

Yet none of these local institutions, nor the state itself, appear to have given much thought to the mental health care of their most vulnerable citizens. Instead, I live in a state that appears to offer the equivalent of third-world care for those with chronic mental illness.

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Children and Teens

9 Ways to Talk to Your Children about Mass Shootings


Your kids need to know the truth, but how you talk about it matters. Here's help.

It goes without saying that the most recent massacre in Orlando has the world shaken. Parents have their own set of worries around the safety of their children. And children, who have any level of exposure to the news, have a need to try to understand why this would happen and why would anyone do such a thing.

As much as we all wish we could shelter our kids from the realities of our world today we can’t. They typically hear about these types of atrocities from TV, other kids, overhearing their parents or seeing the look of concern on their parent’s faces while watching the news or reading a news feed on their phone. The points below are a helpful guide to talking to your kids about these types of tragedies.
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Anger

5 Proven Ways to Avoid Losing Your Cool at Work

At one point or another, we’ve all felt totally irritated while at work: You pull an all-nighter on a project that then gets scrapped; a client criticizes your team for no apparent reason, or your co-worker shows up late for a meeting again, dumping all the prep work on you.
These office aggravations can make your blood boil. Your focus is immediately hijacked from the important task at hand. Instead, your mind goes into fight-or-flight mode and you become reactionary; not thinking clearly, blaming others, or beating yourself up for getting upset. In this state, you’re prone to making poor judgements and saying things you may regret later.
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Anger

How to Heal After an Abusive Relationship

If you’ve recently gotten out of an abusive relationship or are considering doing so, your sense of self has likely been altered -- or even destroyed. So, too, have your feelings of safety and your ability to trust others.

You can and will regain these things, but it will take time. This is likely one of the hardest things you will ever do, so be patient with yourself. You can move on...
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Bipolar

Bipolar Disorder & Violence: Is There a Relationship?

As long-time World of Psychology readers already know, a researcher has a lot of latitude in how they design a study to "encourage" a predetermined outcome. Researchers generally don't recognize this as an inherent bias problem, because virtually all researchers do it to one degree or another (or have done it at one time or another in their career).

The relationship between mental illness and violence is one area of contention among researchers, with most research showing only the smallest of correlations between the two. The real risk factor for violence remains -- and has always been -- substance abuse, not mental illness.

Recently it was suggested that those with bipolar disorder are at greater risk for committing violence. So we took a look at some of the research to see how good the studies are that suggest such a connection.

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Publishers

True Story: How I Survived My Possessive, Abusive Relationship


Love doesn’t provoke you to sob in a corner. It doesn’t put a fist through your wall.

This article discusses my personal account of an incredibly serious matter. If you or anyone you know is a victim of domestic violence or abuse of any kind, I urge you to seek help. You may reach The National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-SAFE. Don’t wait. This moment is your life, and your life matters.

Once there was a girl who floated through life feeling as though she had been drugged by sadness. She often wore a smile for others but underneath the mask was a sea of pain. One day her state of sadness gripped her in a most unyielding chokehold as she sat in her car in a busy parking lot, feeling as though she had become a prisoner to hopelessness. In that moment, it would have been a death sentence if she had attempted to drive.
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General

Busting the Lies About the ‘Myths’ About Mental Illness

I'm constantly dumbfounded by the lies and half-truths told by some who advocate on behalf of some people with mental illness. In an effort to lobby for their specific sub-group of people with mental illness, they spread ignorance and misconceptions about mental illness in general.

In a recent article one mental illness advocate wrote, he describes "myths" about mental illness that don't actually appear to be myths, but simple truths. That is, until they are twisted by arbitrary definitions, filters, cherry-picking of data, and exclusions to fit into this person's viewpoint.

Let's examine these supposed myths, and see whether the data support their view.

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General

Can Therapy Help for Self-Harm?

The problem of self-harm is growing, especially among teens and young adults. People engage in self-harm -- such as cutting, self-injury, or even self-poisoning -- for a wide variety of reasons. But the real question is how to help a person who is self-harming.

Self-harm also hurts the family, friends, and other people around the person who is engaging in the behavior. Friends and loved ones don't understand self-harm, and they don't understand what they can do to help. People who self-harm are themselves sometimes unable to express their reasons, or the kind of relief it brings to their emotional hurt and pain.

Psychotherapy has long been used to help people with mental illness and mental health issues. Can it help a person who self-harms?

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