The Perfectionist’s Guide to Making Decisions: The Art of Satisficing

You’re awesome at your job. You know it, feedback from colleagues and clients has affirmed it, and you consistently deliver results that are above and beyond what’s been asked of you. You repeat this pattern enough times and it becomes the norm -- which, frankly, can be exhausting.

High achievers are prone to this pattern of behavior, which is usually completely unsustainable. Eventually, you realize that no matter how many cups of coffee you drink, after-work happy hours and gym sessions you cancel, or calls from your parents you send to voicemail, there’s no possible way to create what you really need:
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Children and Teens

3 Ways to Help Your Child Turn Mistakes into Success

They can't learn anything if they're not allowed to try and try again.

"Wow, she’s a natural at soccer."

"He's like a math prodigy!"

"Did you see how well she plays the violin? And she’s only five."

Growing up, I was in awe of kids and adults who displayed raw talent in sports, academics, music, and other areas. In fact, I thought such innate, effortless talent was the only path to success.

Don’t get me wrong -- My mom attempted to influence me with the truism: If at first you don't succeed, try, try again.
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6 Tips to Stop Being a People-Pleaser

Has anyone ever accused you of being a people-pleaser at work? You might have felt put off, thinking, “Yeah, I like making sure everyone in the office is happy. What’s wrong with that?”

The answer? Nothing. It’s admirable to be a pleasant co-worker and a leader who helps others be successful. In fact, individuals labeled as “people-pleasers” are often kind and have honorable intentions. They usually accept heavier workloads, expend time and energy to enhance team morale, and care deeply for their company and co-workers. These are all positive attributes, so it might be difficult to see how looking out for others’ happiness could possibly have a negative impact on your career and professional happiness -- but it can.

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Brain and Behavior

How to Let Go of Perfectionism

Perfectionists strive for flawlessness in all parts of life. They have unattainably high standards for themselves. They are exceedingly concerned about others’ evaluation of them, hardly ever satisfied with their performance, and blame themselves when things go wrong -- even when they are not directly involved or responsible.

Perfectionists consider mistakes to be personal failures or deficits. Mistakes are not seen as a normal part of learning and growing that we all experience.

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It’s Okay to Be Angry, Unless You’re a Woman

During the recent Democratic presidential debate, Vermont Senator Bernie Sanders swiped a question originally directed at Hillary Clinton, saying, “The American people are sick and tired of hearing about your damn emails.” Imagine if Hillary had said that herself. They might be polling differently today.

Women who show anger aren’t taken as seriously as their male counterparts, according to a
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3 Tips for Raising Kids Who Aren’t Entitled

Does your child expect you to do things for him or her? Do they rarely lift a finger to help? Are they quick to blame others? Do they try to manipulate people to get their way? Do you spend a lot of time rescuing them? For instance, maybe you remind them about deadlines, finish their projects and drive forgotten items to school.

Does your child freak out when they don’t get their way? Do you find yourself resorting to bribes and rewards to get them to cooperate? Do you bend over backwards for them? For instance, maybe you make three different dinners to satisfy all three kids’ appetites. Maybe you rush out to buy their favorite toothpaste. Maybe you work extra to give them a pricey wardrobe every season.

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Brain and Behavior

The Benefits of Emotional Intelligence

Did you ever think back on some of the important decisions you made in your life and wonder "What was I thinking?" or "Did I really do that and why?" Not using your emotional intelligence may be to blame for those bad decisions and actions.

Emotional Intelligence (EQ) is the ability to identify, use, understand, and manage emotions in an effective and positive way. A high EQ helps individuals to communicate better, reduce their anxiety and stress, defuse conflicts, improve relationships, empathize with others, and effectively overcome life's challenges.

Our emotional intelligence affects the quality of our lives because it influences our behavior and relationships. EQ is synonymous with self-awareness because it enables us to live our lives with intention, purpose, and autonomy.

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Brain and Behavior

7 Body Language Mistakes that Could Hold You Back at Work

For the past two months, you’ve had your eye on that promotion. It’s between you and your colleague, and you really want the job. So you put in crazy hours, deliver top-notch work, and take on extra projects to show your work. You don’t see any reason it shouldn’t go to you.

But when the time comes for the promotion to be announced, it goes to your colleague instead. What could possibly have gone wrong?

Turns out, it may totally be unrelated to the quality and quantity of the work you churn out. Instead, it could be a factor of something far more subconscious: your body language.
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How to Stop Pessimistic Self-Fulfilling Prophecies from Shaping Your Life

You believe that you’ll never have a healthy relationship, so you pick partners who are unavailable. You believe you’ll bomb the presentation, so you don’t practice. You believe you’re going to have a frustrating day, so you’re snippy with your spouse, which triggers a fight, which makes you miss your train, which makes you late for work. You believe you’ll have a bad time at a party, so you don’t talk to anyone. Others perceive you as cold and aloof, and don’t approach you either.

These are different examples of the same thing: self-fulfilling prophecies.
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Brain and Behavior

Do You Have a Setback Strategy?

Here’s what I know for sure: If you are a human being who has lived more than five minutes on this planet, you are going to face some adversity.

Challenge is a part of our experience. As a friend, a former Buddhist monk, says, “challenges are what we call the things we just aren’t as skilled at dealing with.” No wonder it feels hard to have to adapt, adjust, cope.
But if you are brave, adversity can also provide great opportunity for growth, knowledge, wisdom, connection, and positive change. And we can create a setback strategy to help us deal with the adversity that comes our way.

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