Anxiety and Panic

How to Cope with the Stress of High School

"Remember that awful feeling that last day of summer vacation before the first day of school?" His question was like a fart at a funeral and roused me from my previously relaxed summer drowse.

A long slumbering dragon in the cave of my gut, released a combination of indigestion and a feeling that can I only describe with the word “blech.” Only in all caps and much longer.

The end of lazy hot long days and the beginning of what seemed like just like long days... trapped in a windowless classroom.
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College

What to Do When Your Partner Doesn’t Support Your Career Dreams

Does the idea of selling something to someone you love sound sleazy or conjure up images of a salesman with a greasy mustache and bad suit promising low, low prices on used cars?

We tend to confine our thinking about sales to business contexts – and more often than not it’s something we seek to avoid or shy away from.

But think back to the last time you put your best influencer skills to work, whether that...
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Children and Teens

Crippled by Self-Doubt? Your Impostor Syndrome Could Have Roots in Childhood

Do you ever feel like you somehow got away with landing your job without truly deserving it? Do you feel super uncomfortable when your boss praises your work, because you’re sure you haven’t earned it? Do you have a fear of being “found out,” exposed for not being experienced, talented, successful, or knowledgeable enough for your job?

You might be experiencing something called Impostor Syndrome. And you wouldn’t be alone: more than 70% of people report experiencing Impostor Syndrome at some point in their career.
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General

7 Confidence-Killing Words and Phrases to Ban from Your Vocabulary


If you have great ideas, you need to know how to communicate them. At work as in relationships, it all starts with conveying confidence. But a challenge many high-achieving women run up against are bad speech habits that have been conditioned in us over the years. Without us even knowing it, these verbal crutches can damage our internal and projected confidence levels and can even negatively impact how we’re perceived at work.

Women’s brains are naturally tuned for emotional intelligence and specialized for masterful communication. The female mind is hardwired to pick up nuances in spoken language and
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ADHD and ADD

How to Stop Stressing about Work & Finally Fall Asleep

If you’re like most people, you’ve been affected by stress-related sleep problems at some point, lying awake at night filled with anxiety about your career and the future.

Often everyday worries about impending deadlines and your to-do list give way to bigger, more stressful questioning, “Is this job really what I want to be doing with my life? What if I quit? Will I ever discover
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Children and Teens

What to Do When You Feel Unmotivated in Your Career (And 3 Ways to Do Your Best Work)

We’ve all faced days at the office where we’re just not feeling motivated. Off days happen to everyone and it’s tough -- if not unrealistic -- to constantly do your best work. There are bound to be times when you procrastinate too much, lack focus, or struggle to start important projects.

You may react by getting down on yourself, wondering where your determination has gone. It can be disappointing to feel like you’re not living up to your aspirations, especially when there’s important work to be done, which there almost always is. Speed, efficiency, and productivity are what drive results, and when our energy doesn’t match our ambition, it can be frustrating.
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Children and Teens

3 Hard Truths about Your Dream Job You Need to Accept

You’ve been told you can achieve anything you set your mind to, right? That’s the message that’s been ingrained in us since childhood when we imagined becoming astronauts, athletes, and movie stars. Most of us come to realize that we can’t all be LeBron James or Taylor Swift -- and that we don’t want to be, anyway! As we get older, we typically outgrow these fantasies of youth and begin mapping out a career that’s aligned with our personal goals and values.

Yet, in spite of this seemingly straightforward and logical process, many people still have a number of misconceptions about what a “
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Brain and Behavior

Doctors Don’t Grieve, Residents Don’t Sleep

Many doctors appear to believe they aren't human -- and don't have normal human needs like the rest of us. At least according to two new studies recently released.

In an opinion piece published in Sunday's New York Times, researcher Leeat Granek shares the results of two studies that suggest to her that, "Not only do doctors experience grief, but the professional taboo on the emotion also has negative consequences for the doctors themselves, as well as for the quality of care they provide."

A different study released by the JAMA journal, Archives of Surgery, last week found that residents don't get as much sleep as ordinary professionals get -- which directly impacts their ability to concentrate and be mentally attentive.

Combined, these studies add to the picture that's been painted for years by research -- that doctors believe they are somehow "super human" and beyond the reach of normal human needs, for both their body and their mind. It's a disturbing picture, and one that the medical education establishment needs to remedy sooner rather than later.

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General

On Being a Student Therapist: End-of-Semester Reflections

It’s taken me a while to compose this last blog of the semester. How does one wrap up the teachings of 52 client sessions in just a few hundred words? Of course, by no means is this the end of my writings about my work, but the end of my practicum experience has arrived, and with it, thoughts and reflections on my first months as a counselor.

When my supervisor gave me my end-of-the-semester review, she gave me a great compliment, saying that I “seem very comfortable in my skin” and how that is a great asset for a counselor. Of all the words of praise she had given me over the past few months, those meant the most.

Years of my own therapeutic work got me to the place I am today, a place where I can be of most help to others. It has been a long, often difficult, but also rewarding journey to reach the place I am today, and that has made me all the more empathetic to the struggles my clients face.

Although our essential issues may not look similar, the human condition of working to triumph over adversity is the same.

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General

On Being a Student Therapist: Unsatisfying Endings

Three weeks left in the semester, and the goodbyes begin.

Technically, I did say goodbye to four clients earlier in the semester, but over the next few weeks, I’ll be saying goodbye to clients with whom I’ve worked “long term,” as in, longer than our four required sessions, and therefore, with whom I have built more of a relationship.

The client I said goodbye to today made incredible progress during the semester. She came in very closed off, afraid to show emotion, and dealing with issues that would be hard for anyone to deal with, let alone a 20-year-old undergraduate. During our time together, she worked hard and was a rewarding client. However, today during our termination session, I was reminded of what counseling is really about: the client and her needs, not my needs or expectations as a counselor.

Last session, I had reminded my client that today would be our last meeting, and she was fine with that.
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General

On Being a Student Therapist: Facebook and Process Commentary

Buzz…buzz…buzz…

The Blackberry on my client’s lap was signaling a message. Usually, this client silences her phone and puts it away before our session, without any prompting from me. This time, she glanced down at it, pushed a few buttons, and resumed our conversation. I let it go.

Two minutes later: buzz…buzz…buzz…

My client looked down again and started pushing buttons. I called her out.

“What’s up with the phone today? Usually you put it away. Is something going on?”

“It’s just Facebook updates.”

She pushed a few buttons again and put the phone in her pocket. I didn’t hear it vibrate again during the rest of the session.
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Disorders

On Being a Student Therapist: Making a Diagnosis

We're back from spring break, and the push to the end of the semester is on. Depending on who you ask, we either have seven weeks left (the university calendar), or approximately 35 more drives to campus (my personal calculation). Now that I've gotten over the hump of juggling six clients who needed to be seen four times each in five weeks’ time, seeing eight clients who need to be seen at least four times each in seven weeks’ time sounds like a piece of cake!

During my supervision session prior to break, I expressed frustration to my supervisor about a client who had asked to continue counseling beyond her class requirement. I questioned this client’s commitment to counseling and whether her problems were significant enough to warrant additional sessions, especially since I had been assigned six new clients, and therefore, continuing counseling with this client would mean extra work for me. My supervisor reminded me that I had been very excited to work with this client initially, and gently encouraged me to keep working with her for a few more sessions.

Then my supervisor did her job: she suggested that my client might have a serious disorder, one I hadn’t even considered, or honestly, would have even occurred to me on my own.
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