Anxiety and Panic

Studies Show We Find Stressed Out People Less Attractive


Your libido, appearance and more things that take a hit when you're feeling too overwhelmed.

If being stressed out of your mind didn't feel bad enough, there's a study that will make you want to chill the eff out even more: Researchers discovered that men find stressed out women less attractive.

After men rated women's faces for attractiveness, the study found that the prettiest faces consistently belonged to the women with the lowest levels of cortisol, the stress hormone.
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Children and Teens

4 Tips for Teens Who Are Dating

Recently, a mother asked me for advice on how to keep her teenage daughter, who just started dating, from getting hurt.

First, I assured her that her daughter will get hurt. I don’t know anyone who has loved without pain.

Even more important than trying to avoid pain is helping our sons and daughters (and ourselves) to know that they are strong, capable, and powerful -- and that they can overcome hurt.

Resiliency, self-respect, self-esteem, confidence, perseverance, and wisdom are the things to focus on instilling in your children, as these things will both help them to avoid pain and to recover from it quickly.

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General

Activities for Couples to Get Closer

It’s normal to feel disconnected from your partner from time to time. It happens to the healthiest of couples.

We are all busy. We all have things that should’ve been done yesterday. We may be parents, which adds an extra layer of hectic. We may have demanding jobs or several jobs. We may have completely different schedules from our partners.

So we asked two relationship experts to share several activities couples can do to reconnect and get closer.
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Relationships

How to Determine Whether It’s ‘Love’ Or ‘Lust’

Not sure about your feelings? Here's how to know if what you are feeling is really love.

Moving from "like" to "love" is one of the most important transitions a couple can make. Unfortunately, it's also one of the most misunderstood ones. Too many couples think that love is the same as lust. This equates love with the ooey-gooey excitement and breathless anticipation that usually occurs at the beginning of a relationship.

Defining love this way makes it into a feeling and the down side is that feelings come and go. If you don't want your love to wax and wane with your emotions, you probably don't want to define love solely as something you feel. Our culture doesn't give us a lot of other options for a definition of true love, though. If it's not just a feeling, then what else is it?
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Happiness

Single? Here Are 9 Ways to Enrich Your Own Life!


Just because you choose to live a single life doesn't mean you have to feel alone!

There are a lot of reasons to remain single these days, and many women are happy to do so. Unfortunately, other people often view single women with pity or misunderstanding. They think single women sit home every night eating Ben and Jerry's by the gallon, feeling lonely and miserable.

But studies show that single people actually have more active lives than married people; they're more likely to go out, be involved in their communities, join groups, have more friends and be more social!
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Addiction

Early Signs of Love Addiction

As I strengthen my relationship with my wounded child, I realize that my childhood showed signs of a developing love addiction. There were aspects of my home life that primed me for neediness and a tendency to define my value in the eyes of others. Deprivation played a key role. Here are some of the things I recall:

My mother was a perfectionist. She was ruthless in her oversight of our household chores. I remember one event from when I was a young adult. My mother had made a big issue about no one helping her. So I stepped in to help.
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Addiction

Why Real Love Is Hard Work

A month into our relationship, my now-husband asked me, “Where do you see yourself in five years?”

I didn’t hesitate.

“As a nun in a third-world country doing missionary work,” I said.

“Interesting.”

Somewhere around that time I also told him it would be five years before I slept with him. It was the quickest five years of my life.
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General

6 Absolute Must-Haves for Relationship Compatibility


Romantic relationships can be a lot of fun! The start of a new relationship is nearly always one of the most exciting times, as you each explore one another's hopes, dreams ... and bodies.

But what happens if you want to turn that short-term fling into a longer-term thing? Will those same characteristics you found exciting and different in your romantic partner work long-term?

You don't have to be 100 percent compatible in order to make a long-term relationship work. But there are a few areas that you'll find it beneficial to have partner compatibility.

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Addiction

Porn Addiction: Not the Whole Story

The issue of whether porn addiction is real has produced a storm of controversy. Yet all this noise may be distracting us from a graver risk to healthy sexuality: sexual conditioning of adolescents.

I monitor a number of popular online recovery forums. I have read self-reports of thousands of otherwise healthy young men who heal severe symptoms, including sexual dysfunctions (anorgasmia, delayed ejaculation, erectile dysfunction, loss of attraction to real people) by removing a single variable: Internet porn use.

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Marriage and Divorce

Reader Question: How Can I Spice Up My ‘Monotogamy’?

Reader Monotogamous (do you see how I'm trying to coin that phrase?  Monotonous monogamy?  Come on, that's pretty good) writes:
My boyfriend and I have been together for almost three years and I feel I am getting emotionally detached from him because we never have sex ... I saw that he was watching porn all the time a few days ago and it bothered me because I feel he's lost interest in me sexually and physically. I feel as if we are just friends. What are some ideas I could use to bring "love" back?
Well, M, I applaud you for trying to bring the spark back into your relationship. As far as I see it, there are three main areas in a relationship: Sex, Trust, and Communication.
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Family

Single & Surviving as a Woman

Being 34 and single, the last 10 years have been a time of a lot of emotional stress for me. I had been a very successful student in my younger days. So I used to take praise for granted. In the extended family I was touted as someone that the children should emulate. However, as I grew into my late twenties and remained unmarried, the dynamics with family and friends changed completely. 

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Addiction

Can a Sex Addict Also Be a Codependent?

In my 27 years working with addicts and codependents, I rarely have come across a completely healthy partner of an addict. Although addicts' partners are unequivocally not to blame for the addiction, and most certainly not the consequences of it, they certainly carry responsibility for the shared relationship problems.

The nature of shared relational responsibility is even more pronounced in the sex addict/co-addict (partner) relationship. Addiction psychotherapists all have experienced how both the addict and his or her partner participate, either actively or passively, in their dysfunctional relationship.

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