Sexuality Articles

Stacey Rambold Gets 31 Days for Raping a 14 Year Old in Montana Thanks to Judge Baugh

Tuesday, August 27th, 2013

Stacey Rambold Gets 31 Days for Raping a 14 Year Old in Montana Thanks to Judge BaughWow. Just wow.

Thanks to Montana District Judge G. Todd Baugh, Stacey Dean Rambold just got a slap on the wrist for raping a 14-year-old girl — who took her own life because of the trauma.

As you might suspect, nowhere in the United States — including Montana — is it permissible to have forcible sex without consent with a 14-year-old.

But somehow, Judge Baugh used exemplary — if not totally twisted logic — to excuse the actions of Rambold, 54, and said he could go free after serving just 31 days in jail.

5 Keys to a More Intimate Relationship

Tuesday, August 27th, 2013

5 Keys to a More Intimate RelationshipUnless you’re one of the few lucky couples in the world, it’s likely that you’ve found yourself in a romantic slump at some time or another. Let’s face it, life happens.

We get busy, we get comfortable, we get stuck in our respective roles, we become complacent, and we get a little bored.

Before you start evaluating whether your relationship can find a little spark, perhaps you should consider how to add a little intimacy.

Relationship on the Rocks? 5 Ideas to Help Reignite that Spark

Friday, August 23rd, 2013

Relationship on the Rocks? 5 Ideas to Help Reignite that SparkThis guest article from YourTango was written by Julie Orlov.

Picture this: you can’t believe it’s summer already. Another school year has gone by, and you’re trying to decide where to go on vacation. Any idea you come up with seems like a lot of effort. And if you’re really honest? The idea of a family vacation seems exhausting.

Taking a long weekend away by yourself sounds so much more enticing. You look across the kitchen table at your husband. He’s busy writing out checks, and reminds you that he will be working late next week so you will need to pick up the kids from their various afternoon activities.

Things are comfortable between the two of you. But where’s the spark?

Talking to Children about a Parent’s Sex Addiction

Friday, August 2nd, 2013

Talking to Children about a Parent's Sex AddictionWorking with sex addiction clients who are parents inevitably brings up the question, “How and what do we tell the children?”

The answer to this question varies from family to family and with the children’s ages and developmental level. Regardless of whether the children are young or adults, parents always want to do the best that they can to help their children through this process.

Children of any age in any family where addiction is present can present a unique challenge. Questions arise as to what, if and how much to tell children about the addiction. Another question that arises is how much the children have been affected by the sexual addiction.

When You Are the Partner of a Sex Addict, Part 2

Wednesday, July 17th, 2013

When You Are the Partner of a Sex Addict, Part 2Grief and addiction share a common trait: denial. Denial is a very normal stage of the grief process; denying the loss of a person, place or thing is a typical first reaction when a person loses something valuable in his or her life.

However, with addiction, denial also plays a key role. In addictive behaviors, there is usually global denial regarding the addictive behaviors, and the impact of the behavior on others.

As a partner of an addict, denial can appear as overlooking your intuitions in the relationship that something doesn’t feel right. Underneath this denial, there is usually a lot of rationalizing, that is, talking yourself out of the gut feeling that something is very wrong.

This can be a survival mechanism that stems from your family of origin.

When You Are the Partner of a Sex Addict, Part 1

Tuesday, July 16th, 2013

When You Are the Partner of a Sex Addict, Part 1When you find out that your partner has been unfaithful, it is normal to have very intense feelings of betrayal, anger, and profound sadness. Questions arise about anything and everything that the offending party has ever said or done.

Positive memories together and special moments lose their magic. Feelings of inadequacy can arise; worries that you somehow caused your partner to seek sexual experiences elsewhere due to your not being “enough” can cut to the very core of your being.

Well-meaning friends and relatives advise you to leave the relationship. Sometimes even your therapist tells you to leave the relationship.

But what if you find out that this is a pervasive pattern for your partner? What if you discover that your partner might be a sex addict?

Do Long-term Relationships Get Better Sexually With Age?

Monday, July 1st, 2013

Do Long-term Relationships Get Better Sexually With Age?This guest article from YourTango was written by Larry Michel.

Are you someone who turns the lights down or off to have sex?

Tragically, this is all too common. A couple starts off with a good conversation. They feel comfortable. There’s a physical attraction, and the next thing you know the lights are off, they’re fumbling to remove their clothes, and then excitedly exploring each others’ bodies — in the dark.

The last part doesn’t sound so bad if you like exploring while blindfolded. But as a metaphor for intimacy, searching for a deep connection in the dark is a recipe for short-term, and certainly long-term, disaster.

Why? Because instead of turning the lights down, we need illumination.

Don’t Like Anything to Do with Sex? You May Have Sexual Anorexia

Wednesday, June 26th, 2013

Don't Like Anything to Do with Sex? You May Have Sexual AnorexiaDo you hate anything sexual? Do you avoid sex or any type of sexual feelings? You may have sexual anorexia.

Sexual anorexia is an aversion to being sexual. Sexual anorexics sometimes will go to extreme measures to avoid being sexual with others. Some symptoms of sexual anorexia include, but are not limited to:

 • Rigid, judgmental attitudes
 • Dread of sexual pleasure
 • Despair after sexual contact
 • Avoidance of anything connected with sex

At times, the sexual anorexic can follow a binge/purge cycle, engaging in sexually promiscuous or addictive behaviors for a time, then refraining from any sexual behavior for a time.

Telling Your Partner: The Disclosure Process in Recovery from Sex Addiction

Wednesday, June 19th, 2013

Telling Your Partner: The Disclosure Process in Recovery from Sex AddictionSex addiction is an escalating state of dysfunction affecting body, mind and spirit. It is a series of sexual acting-out behaviors that are kept secret and are abusive to self or others. Sex addiction is used to avoid painful feelings, but often can be the source of such feelings.

Acting out sexually for a sex addict alters consciousness and feelings. It is a mental preoccupation which includes obsession and compulsion, and is devoid of a caring relationship. Sex addicts are unable to stop their behaviors on their own, but can be responsive to the recovery process using a 12-step model such as Sex Addicts Anonymous (SAA).

A formal disclosure is an important piece when putting together the recovery puzzle. It involves the sex addict and his or her partner meeting with a therapist trained in sex and love addiction issues.

5 Steps to Putting Sexy Back in the Bedroom

Monday, June 17th, 2013

5 Steps to Putting Sexy Back in the BedroomThis guest article from YourTango was written by Sharon Rivkin and Nancy Lee Bentley.

Feng shui, often called the art of placement, is an ancient oriental science incorporating astronomy, geography, environment, magnetic fields, physics and natural elements. The Chinese have been using it four thousand years to optimize living and working environments, with an amazing track record of benefits in health, happiness, prosperity and relationships for those who study and use its principles.

Ask practitioner Sophia Schaul; her love life’s dry spell and failing business turned right around using Feng Sui. Now both she and her husband Chris are happy, successful feng shui, (say fung-shway) consultants.  She says even the simple placement of doors, mirrors, or a fish tank, as well as colors, textures and sounds in the house or office have significance and influence the flow of “chi” or energy in our lives.

The bedroom is especially important in this system, since it’s the key area of the house where love, intimacy, relaxation and reproduction flourish.

6 Kinky Ideas That Will Make Your Sex Life More Fun

Sunday, June 9th, 2013

6 Kinky Ideas That Will Make Your Sex Life More Fun This guest article from YourTango was written by Dr. Aline Zoldbrod and Dr. Shoshana Bennett.

How can you add more spice to your sex life? This age-old question may seem stupid to young couples in love, but after 5 or 10 years in a relationship, some couples begin to appreciate it.

In this article, two of our experts discuss how being more kinky — and vulnerable — together — such as taking naked photos, reading erotica aloud — can make  sex more fun. Not every one of these ideas is going to be right for you and your partner.

But even if none of these ideas work for you, it may spur an idea of your own. So open your mind, and share this article with your partner.

What is Love Addiction?

Sunday, May 26th, 2013

What is Love Addiction?People develop addictions to shield themselves from intolerably painful feelings. An addiction always creates harmful, often ignored consequences. Only when the addiction becomes unmanageable will people do something about it.

Love addicts spend much time, effort on a person to whom they are addicted. Love addicts value this person above themselves, and their focus on the beloved other often is obsessive.

This behavior results in love addicts neglecting to care for themselves in a variety of ways, in essence abandoning important aspects of their lives and well-being to stay connected to the object of their affections.

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