This guest article from YourTango was written by Stacy York.

I met Jay when he was four years old. He came into my office because he said, “She’s a bitch and I would like to fuck her” to a preschool girl.

He was four.

I truly believe that he had no idea what he was saying and what the actual words meant. However, he had been exposed to these words and had even witnessed many things that he never should have. Jay had been recently removed from his parents custody and sent to live with his grandfather.

Why am I telling you this? Your kids are going to school with other Jays now. He’s the little boy with behavioral problems. He’s the grade-school kiddo who french kisses girls on the bus. He’s the sexually promiscuous teenager.

Last week the Boy Scouts of America released their records detailing the history of sex abuse in the group.  They titled these files the “perversion files.”  The purpose of the files, kept since at least 1919, was to keep a record of pedophiles to ensure they did not re-enter the organization.

However, they show that some abusers slipped through the cracks, others were given a second chance and include evidence of some failures to take proper steps to report suspected abuse to authorities.

The Boy Scouts have issued an acknowledgement that in some incidents their response was “insufficient, inappropriate and wrong” and have apologized for their mishandling of certain situations.

And let’s not forget that generations of boys have had healthy, positive, life-affirming experiences with the Boy Scouts.  This current report, which involves a small fraction of the millions of volunteers over the years, should not discount the positive aspects of the organization, the skills it has taught and positive values it has instilled in many boys

At the same time, are there lessons to be learned from the report?

This guest article from YourTango was written by Teresa Maples.

A recent study published by Christine Milrod and co-author Ronald Weitzer analyzes 2,442 postings written by people who pay for sex on an online discussion board that reviews sex providers and their services. Approximately one-third of the posts discussed emotional intimacy between sex workers and their clients.

Many of the people who paid for sex expressed a desire to grow their relationships beyond the sex act and develop feelings and mutual love with the person. So what kinds of things do people who pay for sex tell themselves?

This guest article from YourTango was written by Dawn Michael.

He picks up the phone, gives his credit card information and begins to talk to her. His intentions are to get a quick release, and then go about his business.

As he begins to talk to her, she becomes more interesting. Her words are not just sexual but make him feel connected. The phone calls then become more regular and lengthy; some calls don’t even involve him having a sexual release. He finds himself connecting with her, maybe even wanting to see her.

This man may be any woman’s husband who has lost a connection with his wife. He may still be having sex with his wife, but has lost the intimacy involved, the love, understanding and caring.

This guest article from YourTango was written by Lisa Steadman.

Ever since Anne-Marie Slaughter’s article Why Women Still Can’t Have It All appeared in The Atlantic last month, I’ve been fired up and pissed off … because she’s absolutely right.

First, let’s define what Slaughter means by “having it all.” She’s referring to that constant juggling act of having a thriving and high-powered professional career outside the home and a loving, supportive husband and children at home. Again, by that definition, I agree with her. But here’s what rattled my cage about her article: Slaughter’s definition of having it all assumes that all women want the same thing.

And it’s not just Slaughter. With all of the advances to women’s rights in the 20th and 21st centuries, including our new normal of out earning men, it seems as though society and the author has decided that women all want and choose the same life path. First comes career, then comes love, then comes baby.

This guest article from YourTango was written by Dr. Stephanie Buehler.

Having a poor body image means that you view your body in a negative light. You look at yourself and see only the negative.

This often occurs when people with low self-esteem only see their physical flaws, most often when they look in the mirror.

In my sex therapy practice, body image is often one of several issues that interfere with a person’s ability to enjoy sex. There are multiple causes for poor body image. They include the following:

• Perfectionism, or feeling down and frustrated about your physical flaws.
• Conforming to certain ideals, which are usually found in advertising and other media.
• Being overly focused on looks.
• Believing that you must be a certain weight or size to be happy.
• Judging parts instead of paying attention to the whole. When you look in the mirror, often people with low self-esteem only see the body parts that they deem unattractive.

Sex addiction has become the notorious new concern of the past decade. But it’s a serious issue that impacts many people’s lives. There are many misconceptions about sex addiction and what sex addicts’ lives are really all about.

I thought it was about time we brought this disorder out into the light, to remove the misconceptions about it, and help more people get treatment for sexual addiction.

That’s why I’m please to introduce our newest blog, The Impact of Sex Addiction with Dr. Linda Hatch. This blog will examine sex addiction and the impact it has on spouses, families, and others who deal with psychological and addiction problems in someone they care about. If you know someone with a sex addiction problem, this blog will likely help.

This guest article from YourTango was written by Julie Orlov.

There’s been a lot of publicity around the issue of porn and its effect on men, women and relationships. With porn so accessible and free, it has taken on a new fervor in the lives of so many people. As with most things that affect certain synapses in the brain, porn can quickly turn from an occasional supplement that heightens one’s sex life to an addiction that wreaks havoc and prevents real intimacy.

Here are seven warning signs that you have become a victim to the allure of pornography…

Women’s National Health Week, an annual awareness event dedicated to all issues related to women’s health, was May 13-19 this year.

In honor of this year’s message, “It’s your time,” I want to draw attention to the link between how we see ourselves and how we treat our bodies.

Currently, 80 percent of women in the U.S. are dissatisfied with their appearance. And more than 10 million are suffering from eating disorders.

So the question I have to ask, Why all the self-hatred?

In support of National Women’s Health Week (which was May 13-19 this year), I would like to mention a few ways that female sex and love addicts are different from males. Perhaps this will help women recognize which excessive behaviors can be signs of an actual addiction.

Women always have been overlooked or underrepresented in studies of alcohol, drug, gambling or sex addiction. It has been 73 years since the founding of AA and 60 or so years since the American Medical Association recognized alcoholism as a disease.

Yet it was not until the late 1980s that significant findings regarding very powerful gender differences in the development of alcoholism surfaced in research studies for other diseases, such as heart disease or AIDS.

This guest article from YourTango was written by Dr. Joe Kort. 

While some people are inappropriately labeled “sex addicts” — providing a blanket excuse for all kinds of irresponsible sexual behavior — others truly suffer from uncontrollable sexual impulses, or sex addiction.

Someone with sex addiction isn’t just someone who loves sex. The main symptoms of sex addiction include a loss of control, failed attempts to stop unwanted sexual behavior, and a pattern of negative consequences from anxiety to depression and legal problems.

Here are some quick facts about sex addiction you may not know…

As a therapist, author, and treatment expert in the area of problem sexual behavior and sexual addiction, I have been privileged to provide multiple educational programs for US Military Chaplains and Military Family Advocacy therapists worldwide, trainings specifically related to the growing concern of problem sexual behavior by US servicemen and women — both on and off base. 

The current drama now playing out in the media related to US Secret Service agents’ procurement of prostitutes while on assignment is without question the tip of the iceberg of a concern that is both under-recognized and misunderstood by both military leaders and the general public.