Creativity

The Joy of No Sex

Full disclosure: I work in advertising. It's an industry where husky-voiced, hair-flicking women smolder in ads selling cat food and sneakers, and where shirtless hunks flex fuzz-free pecs to sell salad dressing and synthetic butter.

The following viewpoint will therefore get me into trouble, which I’m familiar with.

Here are two commonsense truisms:

While great sex is joyful, lousy sex is not
Happiness is possible without a daily grind (I’m not talking coffee)

Yet for reasons such as the availability heuristic -- a cognitive shortcut that encourages us to think of commonplace examples in our everyday environment when making decisions -- we often overestimate the importance to our well-being of having regular sex. When we pause to think of the world around us, we more often remember non-nude pretzel-like scenarios in which we were happy.
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General

The Difference Between Sex and Love for Men

As a psychotherapist who specializes in emotions, and as a woman with my own personal history of serial monogamy, I have come to realize that some men channel their need for love, intimacy, soothing, care, and comfort into sexual desire.

Here are some examples:

Dylan wants sex when he feels sad because he likes the comfort the physical holding provides. Dylan, like most people, wants to be held when he is sad. In fact, the need to be held when we feel sad is biologically programmed into our brains.

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Bullying

The Trope of the Closeted Homophobe: Is It True?

In one of the latest episodes of "It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia," a character named Mac finally reveals that he is gay after 11 seasons of being in the closet. A running joke throughout the show was that Mac has always been secretly gay, despite being outwardly homophobic. Because of his strict Catholic upbringing, Mac has shown plenty of hostility toward gays and lesbians in many different ways, such as fighting gay marriage or giving a five-hour sermon on the evils of homosexuality. When he finally reveals that he’s gay, the rest of the gang simply exclaims that they already knew.

The trope of the homophobic character who is secretly gay isn’t exactly new. It’s been used several times before in television shows such as "Glee" and films such as "American Beauty." In all these situations, a character is outwardly homophobic and may even bully gay characters. Later it is revealed that this character is secretly gay and his or her homophobia was likely a means of dealing with repressed feelings.
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Anxiety and Panic

Psychology Around the Net: February 6, 2016


Happy Saturday, Psych Central readers!

I hope your February is off to a great start -- I know mine is! Honestly, I don't know what to make of this winter so far -- one weekend I'm snowed in, and the next it's, well, almost spring out there!

Anyway, I've rounded up some interesting little psychology-related nuggets for you to feast on this weekend, whatever your plans, so sit back and get ready to learn about how a parent's depression...
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Caregivers

5 Ways to Stay Connected to Your Spouse after Baby

If you’re a new or expectant parent, you’re probably relishing all of the joy, excitement and memories your new baby will bring. You’re also probably fretting over the changes and challenges that will occur, too.

No one prepares us for the relationship struggles that happen after a baby arrives. We don’t realize how taxing sleep deprivation, uncertain parenting roles, money worries and everyday stressors can be on our marriage. You soon realize that your precious arrival has set off a bigger cascade of problems between you and your spouse than you ever knew possible.

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Brain and Behavior

Men: How to Awaken Passion in Your Wife

For men, it’s easy. Your wife gives you a glance, a naughty side-turn or wears some sexy lingerie and you’re rearing to go. For women, foreplay is a bit more complicated.

Sex and intimacy are essential ingredients to remaining close and connected to your spouse, but often, it’s the first thing to go. Not only do you battle with the stress of everyday life, lack of sleep from demanding kids or just feeling plain old “not into it,” you also have to worry about setting the stage precisely. Otherwise it loses steam.

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ADHD and ADD

Psychology Around the Net: November 21, 2015


With Thanksgiving just a few days away, we're in the throes of the holiday season here in America; unfortunately, this isn't a happy time for all. However, psychologists have a few tips and tricks to keep your holiday blues in check.

Of course, we've also got the latest on sex and happiness, how a mother's age could affect her daughter's mental health, whether your child's ADHD medication puts him or her at risk for bullying, and more.

Have a happy Saturday!

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Relationships

Do You Suffer from Post-Coital Dysphoria or ‘Post-Sex Blues’?


If you've experienced depression after intercourse, you aren't alone.

According to a study published in the International Journal of Sexual Health, one in three of more than 200 young women surveyed have experienced "post-coital dysphoria" or "post-sex blues" following intercourse -- even satisfactory intercourse.

One would assume that following great sex, we're all left feeling spent, relaxed, rested and satiated. On the contrary, some of us feel great distress, want to curl up in a ball and cry for no apparent reason. Because there's very little research surrounding this condition, it's not easy to explain, and it's challenging to diagnose.
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Addiction

Psychology Around the Net: October 17, 2015


Happy Saturday, Psych Central readers!

This week's Psychology Around the Net brings you the latest on therapy and your sex life, the effects of alcohol use on the economy, what exactly counts as creepy behavior, and more.

Enjoy!

The Psychology of Sex: How Therapy Can Save Your Sex Life: Sometimes, physical conditions such as low testosterone and diabetes can lead to intimacy and sex problems; other times, mental health help such as talk therapy might be just what a couple needs to strengthen their relationship and boost their sex life.

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General

Hookup Culture: Dating Apps Don’t Change Who You Are

Every week there’s a new article published about how dating apps, specifically Tinder, are “tearing society apart” and fueling a “Dating Apocalypse” in America. I haven't been single in a while, so I was obviously curious about what changed. The answer is nothing.

Hooking up is nothing new. The one-night-stand wasn't invented during my lifetime. It would be naive to think there was a time when it didn't exist. It's not a Millennial invention, it's a Pleistocene invention. But is it a Millennial problem?
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