I am frequently asked “What is mindfulness?”

I start by saying something poignant like “It’s being aware and in the present moment” or “It’s about allowing each experience to wash over us like a cool spring rain, without attachment or judgments.” I love these answers and they generally tend to spawn a lively conversation about experiences, judgment and simply allowing ourselves to be present.

Mindfulness, though, is also about perception and reaction. Here’s what I mean…

I spend a lot of time thinking about questions such as, “How do we change?” “Why is it so hard to make ourselves do things that we want to do?”

For instance, Why is it so hard to make myself go to bed? and “How can we stick to our resolutions?

I realize now that a big challenge for me is simply finding clarity.

The day I returned from inpatient therapy, my Lab-Chow mix cuddled up to me on the bed as I cried. She looked into my defeated gaze and licked my tears.

I was astounded that this creature was capable of the empathy that I so craved in my closest friends and relatives. It was like she could read the pathetic and sad thoughts that disabled me and wanted me to know I was lovable in the midst of my suffering.

She continues to be a supportive presence in my life, especially on the days that I grow weary of trying on — and throwing out — every mindful exercise and cognitive behavioral strategy… the hours where staying positive seems impossible. She gets it. I know she does.

Every week I hear tales of four-legged creatures becoming angels in times of terrifying darkness. Indeed, a substantial body of research indicates that pets improve our mental health.

How? Here are a few ways.

In a previous post, I mentioned there was a rumor of redundancy for some friends of mine. Some people were in fact let go, though none of my friends were among the unfortunate ones.

Redundancy — losing your job in a layoff — is difficult for most people. I’ve worked with many people who have been made redundant and struggled with the aftermath. On the whole, these individuals have been hard workers, intelligent, and loyal to their companies; when the hammer finally fell, they often went into an emotional tailspin.

After the initial shock, and even though many had been compensated well for losing their job, it’s interesting to note money became the least important factor.

What really mattered was suddenly losing direction and meaning in their lives. Without work, they became unsure and lost.

Every month in our interview series we take a peek into a different person’s creative process. We learn what inspires and fuels their beautiful work and how they navigate the obstacles that can potentially hinder their creative practice. Plus, we get tips that can be applied to our own creativity.

This month we’re honored to share our interview with Vivienne McMaster, a Vancouver-based photographer with a big heart and a spirit of playfulness. McMaster leads workshops and online classes that invite individuals to tell their stories using photography.

Her prime tool is self-portraiture. After experiencing a rough patch in her own life, it was photography, and self-portraiture in particular, that helped her heal and find her way back to herself.

This guest article from YourTango was written by Susie And Otto Collins.

Jealousy in a relationship can cause you to say things you later regret. You grill your partner about who she had lunch with. You interrogate your boyfriend about who he was just talking to on the phone. You accuse your spouse of flirting.

Jealousy robs you of your peace of mind and wreaks havoc in your relationship. It comes through in the way you talk and the way you act. Strictly speaking, “stalking” is the illegal act of pursuing or harassing another person, like when paparazzi stalk celebrities.

But did you know that stalking also happens in committed relationships and marriages too? Because of suspicion and jealousy, girlfriends stalk their boyfriends and husbands stalk their spouses.

Working memory is “the ultimate evolutionary tool” that has helped us create everything from Google to the Eiffel Tower, according to authors and researchers Tracy Packiam Alloway, Ph.D, and Ross Alloway, Ph.D, in their new book The Working Memory Advantage: Train Your Brain to Function Stronger, Smarter, Faster.

They define working memory as “the conscious processing of information.” And in addition to inventing incredible innovations, working memory is critical for our daily lives.

In fact, the authors call working memory our brain’s conductor. Just as a musical conductor creates a symphony of melodies by instilling order to an orchestra of instruments, working memory instills order to the onslaught of information we confront day to day, including shifting to-do lists, emails, social media alerts, work projects and ringing phones.

So how can we supercharge this maestro of memory?

We’re joining the APA in honoring Mental Health Month, which seeks to bring awareness to the importance of taking care of your physical, mental and emotional health and well-being.

Nowadays there seems to be a focus when talking about mental illness or challenging life issues to talk about what’s wrong. There’s this emphasis on symptoms — an emphasis that seems unrelenting and single-minded.

Eventually, when you get into psychotherapy, you do start talking more about your strengths, about the good things in your life, and how you extend such strengths and wins into other aspects of your life. But people don’t seem to go into psychotherapy as much nowadays. They expect life changes to just happen, with little effort on their part.

Since this is Mental Health Month, it seems like a good time to just say what sometimes seems impossible — you can make the change you want in your life.

Today, we’re joining the APA in honoring Mental Health Month. One of the aims of Mental Health Month is to bring awareness to the importance of taking care of your physical, mental and emotional health and well-being.

Stress touches everyone. It’s a tangible part of our days. But it doesn’t have to dismantle our lives. The key is to cope with stress effectively. And, thankfully, this is something each of us can learn. Once you find practices that resonate with you, you can tuck them into your personal wellness toolbox for use at any time.

Below, Kathryn Tristan, author of the book Why Worry? Stop Coping and Start Living, shared her tips for alleviating stress and enhancing your well-being. You’ll also find a simple test at the bottom to help you quickly assess your stress level.

Most of us want to get along well with other people. One way to do this is to help people feel good about themselves.

If you make a person feel smart and insightful, that person will more likely enjoy your company. The point is not to be manipulative, but to help other people feel good about their contributions to a conversation.

So here are some suggestions to make that happen.

A few weeks ago, as I was sitting with some friends over dinner, there were multiple times when a lot of “shoulds” circulated through the conversation. “He should have picked you up for the date,” or “he shouldn’t act like that.”

I myself was guilty as charged, “should-ing” here and there as well. And then, when I actually pondered the meaning of what we were suggesting, the blinker in my mind flashed red, and I tried to bring myself back into check.

That wasn’t the first time that I’ve had difficulty with just letting people be.

“[B]eing regularly creative correlates with being a better you, a happier mother, a lighter self with an easier laugh,” writes creativity coach Miranda Hersey in her excellent e-book The Creative Mother’s Guide: Six Practices for the Early Years. (You can read a sample page here.)

But, not surprisingly, expressing your creativity, whether through penning poetry, painting or opening up an Etsy shop, can be incredibly challenging during the early years of motherhood. Your days fly by, a blur of feedings, fatigue, mood fluctuations, swelling to-do lists and profound love for your little one.

In The Creative Mother’s Guide, Hersey, who has five kids herself, shares a variety of valuable tips and other mothers’ stories on living a creative life when your kids are young.