General

On the Destructive Belief That No One Can Make Us Feel Anything

When I studied psychology back in the day, Fritz Perls was very popular. I felt a new sense of empowerment reading his compelling writing about “owning” the self and developing radical self-reliance -- moving from environment support to self-support.

Perls’ views may have been what the doctor ordered when social values encouraged being agreeable and placating others rather than honoring our experience (our feelings and wants) and staying connected to ourselves. Perls cajoled, jolted, and perhaps even shamed people into becoming self-reliant and self-sufficient. One popular view was “No one has or ever will make you feel anything.”

Continue Reading

Friends

Surviving Infidelity: Why It’s Necessary to Prove That the Affair Has Ended

Recovering from the painful damage caused by infidelity is never easy. In the aftermath of infidelity, marriages and committed relationships that have been built and nurtured over years, even decades, can quickly crumble, leaving one or both partners devastated.

But there is hope and a way forward for those couples who are willing to make the commitment and do the hard work. The trauma of infidelity needn’t last a lifetime.
Continue Reading

Addiction

How to Build Character

“Character is a diamond that scratches every other stone.” - Cyrus A. Bartol
The desire to be of good character is not only a laudable effort, but also a worthwhile one that pays handsome dividends. It’s unfortunate that more people don’t see the value in striving to achieve character.

There’s nothing like good character for making an indelible impression. When faced...
Continue Reading

Habits

7 Tips on How to Kick the Habit of Indecisiveness

People usually struggle to make choices because they don’t believe in their ability to think for themselves; they believe other people are more capable of making the “right” choice for them. When this is the case, they pawn off small and major decisions to others so they can feel more confident in their decisions. The problem with this is that it gives other people control.
Continue Reading

Anxiety and Panic

7 Practical Tips for Relieving Holiday Depression

For highly-sensitive folks and people predisposed to sadness, the holidays create a perfect storm for depression. There's the added stress of holiday shopping, decorating, and parties -- not to mention dealing with strained family relations; snowball and gingerbread cookies seem to stalk you; and a sense of forced merriment has a way of making you feel like a total loser if you change the radio station when "Jingle Bells" comes on.

According to research posted by the
Continue Reading

Anxiety and Panic

When Worrying Takes Over

There are many worriers out there: The man who constantly worries about whether he has or will get cancer or another terrible disease. The woman who lies awake at night, fearing that she will never meet the right one. The grandmother who can’t let go of the idea that the plane with her grandchildren on board might crash. The employee who can’t concentrate because he fears he may have made a mistake that will cost him his job.

They are all different, but worriers also have a lot in common: Unconsciously, they see worrying as a useful strategy to get prepared and gain control.
Continue Reading

LifeHelper

How to Live What You Believe

“If you don’t live it, it won’t come out of your horn.” - Charlie Parker
There is no better way to demonstrate what you believe than to truly live it. But, as everyone knows, it isn’t always easy to live up to your beliefs. Indeed, this can cause some consternation and anxiety -- especially when what you believe may be contrary to the beliefs of those around you.

To remain at peace with yourself and to live with internal harmony, it is necessary to act in accordance with your
Continue Reading

Depression

The Holidays, Family, and Depression: A Survival Guide

There is no good time of the year to have mild to moderate depression. Once the end of the year holiday season rolls around, it isn’t a matter of dealing with the same routine day in and day out. Now there are holiday parties to attend, relatives to see, and other expectations that are either of your own making or imposed by others. While it may not seem possible, you can survive the holidays, including time that you feel must be spent with relatives you would rather avoid. Here are some tips that will help. 
Continue Reading

Anger

How Meditation Helps Our Relationships

We may think of meditation as a way to gain inner peace and tranquility. But have you considered how a meditation practice can create a climate that deepens intimacy and improves communication?

John Gottman’s research into what makes marriages succeed rveals that when partnerships are marred by a high degree of criticism, contempt, stonewalling, and defensiveness, they often end up in divorce. How can we reduce these intimacy-busting behaviors and create a climate that supports the love we want?

Continue Reading

Habits

12 Ways to Unlock Your Inner Happiness During the Holiday Season

The holidays are just around the corner. You are running around for everyone else, having trouble saying no to your commitments, and your energy has already depleted. Before you realize it, you have put the relationship you have with yourself, your most important relationship on the back burner.

The holidays are a time to decompress, reevaluate where you are in life, and cultivate your inner happiness. Read on and discover some ways you could be sabotaging your own happiness without even realizing it, and take the necessary steps to put your own sanity and mental well being first before taking care of others.
Continue Reading