Marriage and Divorce

World Champion Cubs Toss Marriage Tip: Regroup!

Did you know that the same traits we admire in sportsmanship exist in good marriages? Spouses who want to keep their relationship growing nicely can pick up a few ideas from Chicago Cubs outfielder, Jason Heyward, and manager Joe Maddon. Many give Heyward’s inspiring World Series weight room speech credit for restoring his team’s spirits up after their several-run lead against the Cleveland Indians had dwindled to a 6-6 tie...
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Friends

Why Am I Uncomfortable Getting Close to People?

Many of us are hesitant to get emotionally close to others. Getting close means sharing feelings, thoughts, wishes and dreads. Getting close means sharing your true self, flaws and all, with someone else who totally accepts us.

Many people, who are hesitant to get close to others, wish they were not hesitant. They yearn for intimacy. They yearn to be known. And, they feel lonely.

But, closeness can be uncomfortable  --  not only mentally but physically as well.
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Books

5 Ways to Live Well with Chronic Pain

None of us ever set out to live a life with chronic pain and illness, but it happens. There comes that moment when you are sitting in yet another doctor’s office going over your symptoms for the third time that week, and the physician is simultaneously squinting his eyes, trying to make sense of your laundry list of complaints while scribbling something in your file -- when you realize that your story might not ever have a Cinderella ending.

You panic. You may throw things (when you get home). Niagara Falls begins to erupt from your eyes. And then gradually, over time and much heartache, you embrace Plan B.
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Addiction

Staying Sober During the Holidays

The holidays can be an emotional time for many people, but for those who have recently stopped drinking, navigating the holidays can be especially challenging.

What makes the holidays so appealing to people -- catching up with the same relatives and friends and doing the same traditions year after year -- is exactly what can make it tough for newly sober people to stay sober.
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Habits

Can Leopards Change Their Spots?

At the end of a frustrating therapy session, Emma turned to her husband and said, “you’ll never change.” Feeling defeated, she then turned to me and said, “My mother always said, ‘a leopard doesn’t change its spots.’ Now I see what she means. Do you think that people ever really change the way they are? ”

“Of course I do!” I responded. “That’s why I’m a psychologist. That’s why I love my work. People can and do change -- when they’re open to it.”

Now it is true, that a total personality change is not in the cards for most people -- nor should it be. We are who we are. But changing aspects of one’s behavior (how we think, what we do, how we speak) is definitely possible and happens all the time as people adjust to new circumstances.
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LifeHelper

Use Your Clean Record to Your Advantage

I don’t want to call down the evil eye, but I’ve never been arrested, and I’ve been issued one traffic ticket in my whole life.

I remember the ticket vividly. It was 1992. I was living in a small town in Pennsylvania, the kind with one traffic light, a movie theater, a church, a college and a couple bars. I was driving around the lake, coming home from a friend’s house. Suddenly, a policeman sounded his car siren and flashed his lights. “Was he after me?” I thought. I hadn’t done anything.
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General

Understanding the Different Types of Infidelity

The expectation of exclusivity and monogamy is common, although not always adhered to in a marriage or long-term relationship. When this expectation isn’t met, emotional damage can occur, including feelings of severe anger or rage. Some people experience a sense of betrayal and loss of trust in their partner while some lose a sense of personal confidence and self-esteem.

Many people have struggled to differentiate between platonic friendships and infidelity. While a friendship with the opposite sex is not the determining factor, the issues of faithfulness, deception and betrayal are.

There are several different types of infidelity that may occur in a relationship. Understanding the differences is important, so one doesn’t fall prey to one or more types of infidelity. It is also helpful to know the types in order to be able to continue to nourish and work on one’s couple.
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Habits

Moving Out of Fear and into Your Life

What is stopping you from achieving your goals in life? There are lots of things that may hinder you from taking the action required to make changes in your life, grow and reach certain goals. Fear can be one of those hurdles that continues to limit people from scaling greater heights. Fortunately, fear is a normal occurrence and it depends on your ability to move out of it in order to become what you have always wanted to be.

Fear is the sign of a window of opportunity. When you move closer to your dreams, you can rest assured that you will encounter fear. It is because of fear that you stop telling your truth and expressing yourself authentically. It then becomes challenging to move forward. However, did you know that you can move out of fear and into your life?
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ADHD and ADD

What to Expect When You Love a Woman with ADHD

"We are stronger and smarter than our reactive selves." I wrote this in an article shared on elephant journal, and I was referring to our intellectual self -- versus our reactive self. I received many questions and comments about this statement, so I took some time to reflect and dig further about what this means to me. And as a woman with ADHD (inattentive subtype), it is a daily struggle to control my impulses from reacting quickly.

I trust my "intellectual self;" she has solid judgment, but my reactive self can be stronger. Almost as though my mind and my body are in constant conflict.
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