Self-Help Articles

I Can’t Believe They Did That! Taming Judgmental Tendencies

Monday, June 30th, 2014

I Can’t Believe They Did That! Taming Judgmental TendenciesBeing judgmental can be a good thing. Our judgment is a survival skill, according to psychotherapist Joyce Marter, LCPC. It helps us stay out of danger.

For instance, you use good judgment when you don’t give your phone number to a man who’s “separated” from his “crazy” wife, or invest money in a hot new business started by your nephew who has a gambling problem, she said.

However, when we use judgment beyond its survival value, it can ruin relationships, “because nobody likes to feel they’re being scrutinized by a ‘Judge Judy.’”

Reconnecting to Our Authentic Selves

Saturday, June 28th, 2014

Reconnecting to Our Authentic SelvesMany things can stand in the way of reconnecting to our true selves.

“Adulthood is filled with all kinds of stressors, responsibilities, and sacrifices that can leave us feeling disheartened and disillusioned,” said Casey Radle, LPC, a therapist who specializes in anxiety, depression and self-esteem.

These never-ending responsibilities and productivity pressures can sap our energy and more, she said. “I know I have used the term ‘soul-sucking’ to describe many things throughout my adult life.”

Separating Delusions from Reality

Friday, June 27th, 2014

Separating Delusions from RealityIn the midst of my most intense psychotic episode I thought I was a prophet.

I thought it was my job and my job alone to bring peace to the world.

I was receiving hidden messages that only I could see when I listened to the radio or watched television, and I thought there was great evil coming to the world.

The Secret to Great Relationships of Any Kind

Thursday, June 26th, 2014

The Secret to Great Relationships of Any KindGerry Spence, the famous attorney who has an amazing record for winning in court, says that people have “truth tentacles.” That’s how he became so successful — by telling juries the truth.

I agree; I think people can tell when they’re being lied to. Sometimes we may put blinders on because we don’t like the reality we see, but deep inside, we generally know the truth.

Overcoming Common Paralyzing Thoughts for Adults with ADHD

Thursday, June 26th, 2014

medication-adhd-treatmentMany people with ADHD have limiting beliefs that prevent them from achieving their goals, whether it’s going to graduate school or going for a promotion.

For instance, adults might think: “I could never do that, the boring parts would be too hard” or “I’m too lazy and not that smart,” according to Roberto Olivardia, Ph.D, a clinical psychologist and clinical instructor in the department of psychiatry at Harvard Medical School.

3 Unique Techniques for Navigating a Negative Inner Voice

Tuesday, June 24th, 2014

3 Unique Techniques for Navigating a Negative Inner VoiceEveryone has a negative inner voice. For some this voice speaks up occasionally. For others the voice is a frequent visitor.

According to Steve Andreas in his book Transforming Negative Self-Talk, “An internal voice may remind us of past failures, sorrows, or disappointments, torture us with criticism or verbal abuse, describe frightening or unpleasant futures, or disturb us in other ways.”

A negative inner voice can make us feel hopeless and helpless, because we can’t control the demoralizing thoughts brewing in our brains. However, there is something you can do — many things, in fact.

10 Habits for a Happy Marriage

Sunday, June 22nd, 2014

10 Habits for a Happy MarriageThe key to a happy marriage is the quality of your habits, according to therapists Ashley Davis Bush and Daniel Arthur Bush.

Thankfully, healthy habits can be learned. In their book 75 Habits for a Happy Marriage Davis Bush, LICSW, and Bush, Ph.D, share a variety of practical, valuable tips for couples to reconnect, communicate better and enhance their intimacy.

Expert Advice: 4 Great Tips for a Lasting Relationship

Sunday, June 22nd, 2014

tips-for-building-loving-relationship

A round-up of love advice from the pros.

There are so many people who are either looking for love or are constantly talking about how to save their relationships. I remember having many of those conversations with friends. We were all either in difficult relationships or had been single for a long time.

We all knew that we needed to work on ourselves first, but none of us were really sure what the key to a great relationship was. Some felt that great sex could always bring the relationship to a place of connection; others thought that meaningful communication was the answer. And when both of those tactics failed, then there were those who believed in using outside assistance (such as therapists or coaches) for support.

No Time for Meditation? Squeeze in a Little Laughter Instead

Saturday, June 21st, 2014

laughing-1

Seeking out something to laugh about on a daily basis — such as watching your favorite comedian online — may be just what you need to create a more relaxed, zen-like state of mind.

A new study by Loma Linda University Health reveals that joyful laughter produces an abundance of gamma brain waves, similar to those found in a person who meditates often.

Using laughter as a form of therapy — also known as Humor Associated with Mirthful Laughter (HAML) — is increasing in popularity as a holistic and non-pharmacological treatment.

3 Ways to Navigate Anxious Thoughts with Self-Compassion

Saturday, June 21st, 2014

3 Ways to Navigate Anxious Thoughts with Self-CompassionFor so many of us when we start having anxious thoughts, we get self-critical. We berate ourselves for our worries, sweaty palms and all-over shakiness.

We call ourselves names. We become ashamed and embarrassed.

What is wrong with you? You’re an idiot for getting anxious over something so small!

Bullied in the Workplace? Don’t Lose Your Power by Emotional Dumping

Friday, June 20th, 2014

Lose Your Power by Emotional DumpingEmotional dumping is when you verbally offload the intense rage or fear you feel onto someone you think should care and fix it now. For example, if you’ve been the target of workplace bullying, you might spew forth your outrage onto human resources or senior managers. You might expect them to do something, but become even more upset when they react in an oppositional way.

As a therapist, I regularly encounter this phenomenon, often from otherwise intelligent and articulate women who feel OK about seeking help and solace from others (men usually find it more difficult).

5 Steps to Find Calm: An Interview with Robert J. Wicks

Friday, June 20th, 2014

New Photo

Renowned psychiatrist Peter Kramer once said that the opposite of depression isn’t happiness. It’s resilience, the ability to bounce back from tragedy, to regain a healthy sense of perspective after traumatic or stressful experiences.

In my recovery from depression and anxiety, it is calm — more than excitement or joy or contentment — that I seek. I want merely to enjoy a good night’s sleep and an evening without negative intrusive thoughts. I want to keep my heart rate down during challenging weeks, to let emotion take a back seat to rational thought, if that is even possible.

Recent Comments
  • Anon - Useful Tip: I rate myself a ‘medium’ hoarder. For instance, if I buy a magazine, I will keep it,...
  • Jess: I loved the description of the monster. Taking the known “fear” that is causing the panic away is...
  • Yazico: Great article Dr. Grohol, I carefully read it and I found your explanations very realistic. I like the way...
  • I feel the same way!!: I feel the same way when my parents do that to infant they’re doing right now :-(
  • crystal: I enjoyed reading this. I too, like the patient mentioned in the article have an abnormal menstrual cycle...
Subscribe to Our Weekly Newsletter


Find a Therapist
Enter ZIP or postal code



Users Online: 15100
Join Us Now!