General

What Healthy, Happy Couples Do and Don’t Do

There is no such thing as a perfect relationship. After all, every couple disagrees and runs into a range of challenges. So it isn’t that healthy, happy couples fight less than other couples. It isn’t that they are so alike and compatible that they’re somehow immune to conflict.

And yet there must be something that distinguishes their partnerships from unhealthy relationships, right?
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Family

3 Signs You Might Be Carrying Your Mother’s Insecurities

You may feel inadequate, filled with self-doubt, and don't know why. This may be stealing your confidence and joy in ways that are hidden to you. You may be so used to living this way you aren’t even aware that life could feel any different. Many daughters carry their mother's sense of unworthiness into their own lives without knowing it.

Behind many a demanding or controlling mother is an insecure person worrying that she will be found out, or a meek and mild wounded mother who isn’t outwardly critical but drags her daughter down in more subtle ways… never letting her fully live up to her potential.
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General

3 More Ways to Cultivate Our Personal Power

The way we see ourselves affects everything. In particular, when we see ourselves in a negative light, we actually take away our own power. We take away our power to make positive, supportive choices. We may give our power to others -- people who don’t deserve it, who don’t have our best interests at heart.

According to psychotherapist Lisa Richberg, LMHC, when we see ourselves negatively, we might believe: I am not good enough. We might believe: I am not smart enough, attractive enough, athletic, productive, capable, or creative enough.

“We relinquish our personal power when we let our boundaries slip, allowing others to take advantage of us.”
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General

Early Warning Signs Your Relationship Is Making You Depressed

Everyone dreams of meeting their soul mate. Our brains actually encourage us to fall in love when we meet someone who we connect with by increasing the production of the hormone oxytocin, also known as the love hormone. Oxytocin production increases early on in a relationship and enhances the feelings associated with finding new love.   

Eventually the relationship evolves, the honeymoon phase passes and each person's...
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General

What Makes Relationships Happy and Healthy? Couples Therapists Weigh In

We tend to hold the misconception that healthy, happy relationships happen naturally. Organically. Even effortlessly. They move along an assembly line without requiring much, if any, intervention on our part. Because we worry that if we have to work at a marriage, then maybe it simply isn’t meant to be.

This month we asked couples therapists to reveal the biggest lessons they’ve learned about healthy, happy relationships. And their lessons mainly focused on work—the kind you’d do in the garden: nurture, tend, cultivate.
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General

7 Ways to Become More Comfortable Being with Ourselves

So many of us have a hard time being alone with ourselves. Which is why we have a few glasses of wine when we’re the only one at home. It’s why we try not to be home by ourselves. It’s why we like to stay busy. It’s why we turn to all sorts of substances; anything not to think or feel or sit with ourselves.

Because, as clinical psychologist Carolyn Ferreira, Psy.D, said, “When we are still with our own thoughts and feelings, there is always the possibility that those thoughts and feelings will go to a place that we don't like.”
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General

Video: Using Your Leisure Time to Make Yourself Happy

The word "leisure" doesn't necessarily make us think about being active and intentional in the way we spend our time. After all, phrases like "at your leisure" and "going for a leisurely walk" imply taking it easy and letting things happen at their own pace.
But "leisure time" or "free time" isn't a time where we do nothing. Rather, it's a time we can use to do whatever makes us happy.
Sometimes we just really need a break, and doing whatever makes us happy means doing whatever's easiest. We turn on the TV or browse the web aimlessly, and it helps us decompress after a long day.
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General

How You Might Be Unwittingly Relinquishing Your Power—and How to Get It Back

She’s driving me crazy! He doesn’t want to improve our relationship, so there’s nothing I can do. I have to work late. Yet again. I’m not smart. I’m not capable of accomplishing this. I don’t have time for what I really want to do. If only things were different. Why does this keep happening to me???

These are just some of the ways we relinquish our power—to others, to circumstances, to conditions. As psychotherapist Eli Feldman, LMHC, said, “there are a million ways we take power away from ourselves.”
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Children and Teens

Crippled by Self-Doubt? Your Impostor Syndrome Could Have Roots in Childhood

Do you ever feel like you somehow got away with landing your job without truly deserving it? Do you feel super uncomfortable when your boss praises your work, because you’re sure you haven’t earned it? Do you have a fear of being “found out,” exposed for not being experienced, talented, successful, or knowledgeable enough for your job?

You might be experiencing something called Impostor Syndrome. And you wouldn’t be alone: more than 70% of people report experiencing Impostor Syndrome at some point in their career.
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Books

5 Tips for Doing It All–Really!

We often hear and read that we can’t do it all. We must pick and choose. We need to make serious sacrifices. We can either have a great career or a great family. We either volunteer or have a side business. But we need to resign ourselves to the fact that we can't have everything. It’s a message women regularly receive.

However, writer and author Linda Formichelli asserts that we can do it all. For instance, if your version of doing it all means cultivating a connected family, building a fulfilling career, enjoying fun hobbies, and traveling regularly, you can have that.
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