Self-Help Articles

Don’t Fail Marriage: 3 Homework Assignments to Earn an A in Nuptials!

Thursday, July 10th, 2014

marriage in trouble

Ready for a divorce? Try doing these things first.

School may be over for most kids, but for some parents in Oklahoma, it’s only beginning.

Oklahoma lawmakers signed a bill this month requiring divorcing couples with children under the age of 18 to complete a mandatory educational program. We guess parents are not going to be thrilled about this forced enlightenment and yet compatibility with your spouse is a critical subject. And it’s one you can pass with flying colors without government intervention if you complete these three homework assignments:

Returning to Work after Addiction Treatment

Tuesday, July 8th, 2014

Returning to Work after TreatmentEvery year, thousands of white-collar professionals enter treatment for addiction to alcohol and drugs. In treatment they are taught new skills for living productive and fulfilled lives without mind-altering substances. After completing a 30- to 90-day inpatient program, possibly with some additional time in a less restrictive sober living community, they return to work.

In their absence, not much has changed back at the office; the expectations and associated stress have continued without a break. These newly sober professionals are inserted back into a culture from where they came and where they drank.

ADHD and Kids: 5 Tips for Setting Appropriate Rules

Monday, July 7th, 2014

ADHD and Kids: 5 Tips for Setting Appropriate RulesParenting a child with ADHD can present various challenges because of the disorder’s symptoms, such as hyperactivity, impulsivity and inattention.

Kids with ADHD may have every intention of respecting a rule, said Elaine Taylor-Klaus, CPCC, ACC, an educator and parenting coach. But they may break it — often “by accident than on purpose.”

Taylor-Klaus makes a key distinction between “naughty” and “neurological” (having difficulty following a rule because of ADHD symptoms).

Lowering the Volume in a World of Living Out Loud

Sunday, July 6th, 2014

Lowering the Volume in a World of Living Out LoudLife in the age of living out loud presents some unique challenges. You may have heard the well-known saying about jazz music that there is great importance in the notes that are not played, that the notes that are not played are as important as the ones that are. American jazz musician Miles Davis is often cited as the creator of the phrase, but it is sometimes attributed to other musicians as well.

The concept of the importance of space and silence is relevant in many artistic mediums, and is also applicable to human communication and interaction.

Constructive communication is best approached with a spirit of editing, of identifying what will not be said. I sometimes tell clients to think about their communication and interaction with others as a book that is being written. All books could benefit from editing and refining rough drafts. The editing of the self in the realm of communication may serve to not only avoid escalation and conflict; it may provide a chance to practice mindfulness and self-discipline in a way that benefits the self and others.

5 More Things that Make a Good Partner

Sunday, July 6th, 2014

5 More Things that Make a Good PartnerLast month we explored five things that make a good partner, including loving yourself and understanding the true meaning of 50/50. This month we asked two different relationship experts to share their insights.

“Many people believe that a good partner is someone who gives unconditionally and makes the relationship all about them,” said Meredith Hansen, Psy.D, a clinical psychologist who specializes in couples, premarital and newlywed counseling.

However, a partner who’s too giving and too focused on pleasing their partner lacks a sense of self, which isn’t healthy, she said.

Good partners have different opinions, needs and preferences. And they work on striking a balance in their relationship. “Sometimes it will be about you, sometimes it will be about them, and often it will be all about the two of you.”

A Codependent’s Take on the Disney Song ‘Let It Go’

Saturday, July 5th, 2014

A Codependent's Take on the Disney Song "Let It Go"I finally broke down and watched the movie Frozen. I just don’t have any compelling reasons to watch Disney these days, with no kids under 10 in my household. So it took me a while to get around to it.

Of course, I’d heard the hit song during and after the Academy Awards (who could have missed all the chatter about Travolta’s gaffe with Idina Menzel’s name?). Quite honestly, the song just didn’t do that much for me.

How Depression Damages Your Relationship & What You Can Do

Friday, July 4th, 2014

How Depression Damages Your Relationship & What You Can DoDepression is a difficult illness that darkens your thoughts and feelings. It saps your self-esteem, energy, motivation and interest in anything. It’s also tough on romantic relationships.

According to psychologist Shannon Kolakowski, PsyD, in her book When Depression Hurts Your Relationship: How to Regain Intimacy and Reconnect with Your Partner When You’re Depressed, depression diminishes your ability to connect with your partner and creates doubts about your union. Symptoms such as anger and irritability can create tension between partners.

You Are Not Alone in Your Diagnosis of Mental Illness

Thursday, July 3rd, 2014

You Are Not Alone in Your Diagnosis of Mental IllnessIn the eight years I’ve lived with schizophrenia I’ve seen horrible days and I’ve seen days where the sun seemed to shine just right on my face and strike a certain happiness in my soul.

Throughout every day, though, I’ve struggled with my thoughts.

There isn’t a day that goes by where a bit of panic doesn’t creep up into me. In those moments it can feel like the world is against you. It can feel like you are the only person alive who is feeling that certain kind of panic, but I’m here to tell you that you’re not.

Find Out How You Can Ease Chronic Illness with Meditation and Mindfulness

Wednesday, July 2nd, 2014

using-mindfulness-to-alter-your-mood

A novel study suggests that meditation and mindfulness can greatly improve the lives of people with chronic illness, particularly those with diabetes mellitus or coronary heart disease. Instead of worrying about the past or the future, patients begin to gently accept the limitations of their illness and focus on what is possible and beneficial in the present moment.

The study, published in Behavioral Medicine, found that patients who practice meditation and mindfulness experience better sleep and relaxation patterns and have a more accepting outlook toward living with a long-term illness.

Are You Making Excuses that Prevent You from Finding Love?

Tuesday, July 1st, 2014

Dating with Schizophrenia

Are you the reason you’re still single?

I’ve heard many excuses from women telling why they can’t find a man to love. I understand where they’re coming from; there was a time when I had plenty of excuses myself.

But making excuses for why you can’t find a partner is dangerous to your love life. It will not only keep love away from you. It will cause you a lot of unhappiness.

Shh…Create a Love that Lasts Forever with These Secret 5 Steps!

Monday, June 30th, 2014

3 Ways 'Love' Benefits Your Health

Make your partner feel good and don’t forget the little things.

Developing the secure, fulfilling bond you deserve with your partner is hard work, but it is not impossible. Below are five characteristics of every strong bond and what you can do to help create a deep, loving connection.

10 Quick & Easy Ways to Improve Your Mental Health

Monday, June 30th, 2014

Woman outdoors holding flower smiling

We all know the importance of maintaining good physical health — we’re bombarded daily with ads for exercise programs, diet plans, and blog posts on what to eat and drink and what vitamin supplements to take or avoid. What’s not as frequently addressed, however, is mental health — but it’s just as important.

Household budgets are strained all across America, but even if times are tight there are plenty of ways to improve your mental outlook — and they don’t have to take a lot of time or effort.

Recent Comments
  • Anon - Useful Tip: I rate myself a ‘medium’ hoarder. For instance, if I buy a magazine, I will keep it,...
  • Jess: I loved the description of the monster. Taking the known “fear” that is causing the panic away is...
  • Yazico: Great article Dr. Grohol, I carefully read it and I found your explanations very realistic. I like the way...
  • I feel the same way!!: I feel the same way when my parents do that to infant they’re doing right now :-(
  • crystal: I enjoyed reading this. I too, like the patient mentioned in the article have an abnormal menstrual cycle...
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