General

7 Ways to Improve Your Emotional Intelligence

Howard Gardner argued that instead of intelligence being a single ability, humans had the ability to develop multiple intelligences, 9 to be exact. Some people have a natural proficiency in emotional or interpersonal intelligence but others have difficulty with this. Although this article focuses on one type of intelligence, I suggest for each individual to practice personal insight and assess him or herself on each intelligence scale.
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General

Know What Feeds You

When you were a baby, you were helpless and dependent upon your parents and caregivers for nurturance and sustenance. You were the recipient of other people's care. Your caregivers fed you food, loving touch, and appropriate learning stimuli to help you grow, thrive, and feel loved. Shelter and protection from harm was presented to you as well as the adults in your world could offer. Your needs were met as best as your caregivers could supply. Parents and all human beings do the best they can with the skills and awareness they have at the time.

To whatever extent they could care for you reflects what you received and learned was available to you. The care you received growing up taught you a great deal. Early trust (or its lack) was formed and the bonding process was portended for your future relationship with that person.
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Bullying

I Love My Family But Not Their Politics

I’ve come to understand the reason for the old adage that "you don’t talk about religion or politics." People are very passionate about these subjects, especially during a presidential election year, so political discussions even among loving family members can become heated. Some people align so much with their religious beliefs or political values that they feel like it’s a personal attack when others have differing views from them. But what do you do when your own politics differ greatly from your family’s views?
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General

How to Forgive Yourself after Divorce

Divorce guilt comes in all sorts of mutating forms. It is normal for many of us to feel like we are somehow to blame for the divorce.

Culturally, we are taught that keeping the household and marriage successful was our responsibility, without so much a thought that it takes two people in a partnership. And naturally, because there was a lot of pressure on us to be perfect, when the marriage unraveled, our reaction was to blame ourselves for it.

It is time to knock it off. In order to overcome guilt, you must forgive yourself.

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Brain and Behavior

Upgrading Your Mind

How many articles have you read that start out with something like this?

Manage Your Weight: 10 Easy Tips
Five Simple Ways to Manage Your Money
Time Management Tips for Getting it all Done
How to Manage the Stress in Your Life


All these (fictitious, yet typical) articles suggest ways to manage some aspect of your life. Not bad, if you can do it. However, most people can’t. And here’s why.

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Bullying

5 Things to Do if Your Job Makes You Cry

Frequent tearfulness, anxiety, fearfulness, insomnia and changes in appetite are often first symptoms of workplace stress. My clients who report these symptoms are also somewhat baffled by what could be the cause. They tell me, “I love my job and I’m good at it, so why does it suddenly upset me so much?"

Joan works as a nurse in a local hospital. She came to see me complaining that her panic attacks were getting worse and she was crying most days, unable to cope with a workload that, just a few months previously, had been no problem for her.

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General

Dating and Money: Must a Feminist Pay?

Who pays on dates? It used to be simple. The guy did the asking and the paying. Today it’s less clear, as we can see from this range of views:


Tom, 26, says he paid for the first five or six dates with his girlfriend of three years, who’s 29. “She felt bad about me always paying, so sometimes she does. “But I usually pay,” he adds, “and the guy is always expected to pay for the first date. I pay more because it’s the gentlemanly thing to do. If you’re a guy, it feels good to take a woman out to dinner.”
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Publishers

How to Say ‘No’ When You’re Being Pushed Too Far


Does this sound familiar?

A friend I'll call "Ed" kept pushing me to contribute to my school's alumni fund. The more he called me, the more stubborn I felt that my answer was, "No."

I felt that not only did I lack the money necessary to contribute in order to make a true difference, but I also knew whatever I could give would be paltry in relation to what the fund had already accumulated.

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Anger

Keep Your Cool around Hotheads

How many times in your life have you dealt with a hothead? That is someone who overreacts and flies off the handle, doing so with some degree of intensity, consistency, and predictability, typically with minimal provocation. When faced with a hothead who occasionally or repeatedly blows off steam in your direction, how do you process the behavior and keep your cool?

Once you've spent time with a hothead, you learn to expect future over-the-top reactions. Their inappropriate intensity and lack of self-control may show up in limited or multiple scenarios. You may feel uncomfortable, even fearful and embarrassed around these people. They may be aggressive, passive with explosive tendencies, unable to appropriately handle stressful triggers, or lack healthy emotional and physical outlets.

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Friends

5 Tips to Banish Loneliness

Loneliness is not a very accommodating or welcoming emotion. It is also not a given. Yet far too many of us experience this powerful and debilitating emotion from time to time. While most people are able to get past it without too much trouble, there are times when loneliness seems to hang around and is difficult to overcome.

While there can be no substitute for
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ADHD and ADD

The Many Conditions that Mimic Depression

Finding the right diagnosis for any disorder requires a comprehensive evaluation. Indeed, many illnesses share many of the same symptoms.

Take symptoms such as headache, stomachache, dizziness, fatigue, lethargy, insomnia and appetite loss. There are countless conditions with these exact indications.

Similarly, many mental illnesses share the same symptoms, said Stephanie Smith, PsyD, a psychologist in practice in Erie, Colo., who specializes in working with individuals with depression. Which makes “the process of diagnosing mental illness tricky, to say the least.”
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