Self-Help Articles

The 7 Best Tips for Handling Anger and Resentment in Relationships

Sunday, November 23rd, 2014

Couples

Too much fighting in your relationship? Empathy is the antidote to anger!

“Love is not a contract between two narcissists. It’s more than that. It’s a construction that compels the participants to go beyond narcissism. In order that love lasts one has to reinvent oneself.” – French Philosopher Alain Badiou

Resentment and anger in relationships often stem from utter dismay at how your spouse could have possibly done what they did. You just can’t understand it — you never would have done such a thing.

Activities for Couples to Get Closer

Sunday, November 23rd, 2014

Activities for Couples to Get CloserIt’s normal to feel disconnected from your partner from time to time. It happens to the healthiest of couples.

We are all busy. We all have things that should’ve been done yesterday. We may be parents, which adds an extra layer of hectic. We may have demanding jobs or several jobs. We may have completely different schedules from our partners.

So we asked two relationship experts to share several activities couples can do to reconnect and get closer.

Take Advantage of the Good Days

Saturday, November 22nd, 2014

How Gratitude and Kindness Go Together for Brain-Changing HappinessWith the rollercoaster that is life with schizophrenia, you come to know not only the bad, tough periods where your symptoms are on fire but also the days where things are calm and you can sit still and listen to the breeze through the trees.

The bad days are hell and you feel it innately but when the good days roll around it’s incredibly easy to take them for granted. If nothing’s bothering you and your worries have dissipated it’s hard to find a reason to overthink.

I’m more than familiar with what it’s like to be so oppressed by paranoia and delusions that it’s hard to even think about leaving your bed.

How to Determine Whether It’s ‘Love’ Or ‘Lust’

Friday, November 21st, 2014

the-pill-dampen-sexualityNot sure about your feelings? Here’s how to know if what you are feeling is really love.

Moving from “like” to “love” is one of the most important transitions a couple can make. Unfortunately, it’s also one of the most misunderstood ones. Too many couples think that love is the same as lust. This equates love with the ooey-gooey excitement and breathless anticipation that usually occurs at the beginning of a relationship.

Defining love this way makes it into a feeling and the down side is that feelings come and go. If you don’t want your love to wax and wane with your emotions, you probably don’t want to define love solely as something you feel. Our culture doesn’t give us a lot of other options for a definition of true love, though. If it’s not just a feeling, then what else is it?

30 More Journaling Prompts for Self-Reflection and Self-Discovery

Friday, November 21st, 2014

30 More Journaling Prompts for Self-Reflection and Self-Discovery	In September I shared 30 prompts, questions and ideas to help you get to know yourself better.

This month I’m sharing 30 more.

When we get to know ourselves better, we know what we need. That means we can respond to those needs and make better, kinder decisions.

Suffering From Jealousy? Try These 10 Tips to Overcome It

Thursday, November 20th, 2014

green hourglass bigst

We’ve all been there. Maybe it was the popular cheerleader in high school who seemed to have it all: perfect hair, teeth, and her hunky boyfriend made you wonder if you’d ever outgrow your awkward stage. Or maybe it was the rising star at work who beat you out for the plum promotion you wanted without seeming to break a sweat. Perhaps it’s your Facebook “friend” who is chased by a never-ending stream of “Amazing!” selfie-narrated experiences.

Whatever your source of envy, the green monster is no fun companion. Jealousy can not only debilitate your relationships with others, it can also wreak serious havoc on your health. According to Donna Fremon-Powell , certified Guided Imagery Therapist in La Habra, California, emotions like anger, jealousy, hate and resentment produce a chemical that’s very similar to arsenic. “Simply put, your negative emotions are poisonous.”

Confessions of a Stage-Four People-Pleaser

Wednesday, November 19th, 2014

zen cat anyaMy junior year of college, I bought a used computer for $100. It was cheap because the thing was as huge as it was heavy. The challenge was to walk with this cumbersome piece of technology across campus to my dorm. I was finally to the steps of Holy Cross Hall when I tripped and fell flat on my face.

Did I issue a four-letter word?

Of course not.

I apologized.

To the student who was on the stairs staring at me.

Raised to Be a Pleaser

Wednesday, November 19th, 2014

Raised to be a PleaserDo you have a strong need for approval from others? Do you have difficulty saying no, yet often feel resentful about what you agreed to do? Do you get overly involved with people’s problems, postponing attention to your own?

Try to please everyone and it’s likely you’re operating on overload.

How Meditation Helps Anxiety

Wednesday, November 19th, 2014

How Meditation Helps AnxietyYou’ve probably heard or read that meditation is helpful for anxiety. It is — but not in the way you might think.

“Many people have the misconception that meditation is like a magic elixir that will quickly and effortlessly reduce their stress and anxiety,” said Tom Corboy, MFT, co-author of The Mindfulness Workbook for OCD.

But the primary purpose of meditation isn’t to melt your anxiety. Instead, it’s to help you become more present right now, in this very moment, he said. “[T]he anxiety reduction is just a pleasant side effect.”

Riding Out the Blips

Tuesday, November 18th, 2014

Riding Out the BlipsLiving with schizophrenia is like driving across the country. There are meandering fields and prairies of months when you’re well that almost make you forget you have an illness. Then you come into the mountains and the roads get curvy and steep and the weather gets unpredictable. One minute you could be fine, then the next it’s snowing and you can’t see 10 feet in front of you.

I’ve coined a term for driving through the mountains of mental illness. I call these periods “blips.” It’s important to be able to recognize these blips before you find yourself in the hospital again.

3 Skills You Can Learn to Cope Effectively with Stress

Monday, November 17th, 2014

3 Skills You Can Learn to Cope Effectively with StressKnowing how to cope with stress healthfully may not come naturally, especially if your tendency is to beat yourself up. That only worsens your emotional tension and compromises coping. We also may perpetuate or even produce our own stress by thinking in absolutes or creating calamities out of any situation.

And we might experience stress when we fear that we don’t have the right resources to accomplish a task, said Jeremy Savage, MA, LPC, a professional counselor who specializes in the treatment of stress, depression and anxiety. These resources may include money, knowledge and energy, he said.

Mood Mastery

Sunday, November 16th, 2014

Mood MasteryYour mood is a mental state that magnetizes feelings to it. When in a bad mood, you will look for someone or something to blame, because misery does love company. Although your mood is an independent mental event, you can influence your mood. You can even change it by taking small, steady steps of mood awareness and acceptability.

What mood are you in today? Are you a slave to your or another’s mood? Empathizers and Instigators alike are moody. You could say mood is the minefield we all must walk through alone.

Recent Comments
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