Self-Help Articles

3 Tips for Staying Present with Your Kids

Sunday, December 21st, 2014

3 Tips for Staying Present with Your Kids Being present with your kids is fundamental to connecting with …

ADHD Tip: A Simple System for Managing Paperwork

Saturday, December 20th, 2014

ADHD Tip: A Simple System for Managing PaperworkFor people with attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD), paperwork can become a big problem. ADHD impairs executive functioning, making it difficult to make decisions, sort and prioritize. Clients commonly come to psychotherapist and ADHD coach Terry Matlen needing help with paperwork — everything from bills to receipts to school papers to taxes.

She explains exactly why in her valuable book The Queen of Distraction: How Women with ADHD Can Conquer Chaos, Find Focus and Get More Done:

“Your brain’s circuitry finds it difficult to prioritize (Do I pay the bill first or send the wedding RSVP?), stick with ‘boring’ tasks (Paperwork is so boring. I think I’ll play a video game instead) or sort (Do I file under ‘Car’ or stick it in bills paid?).”

I’d Never Tell Anyone This, But…

Friday, December 19th, 2014

I’d Never Tell Anyone This, But…I was 12 years old when my 16-year-old cousin got me alone in a room and started feeling me up. I remember being so shaken and scared. I didn’t know what to do.

When I came home, I told my mother. I shall never forget what she said to me: “Stop making up stories. Your cousin is a good boy. You know that. Why would you want to say bad things about him? What’s wrong with you?”

I froze. Could I have imagined the whole thing? Could it not have happened? Could it have been my fault? I ran up to my room and never mentioned the incident again.

How to Approach the Holidays When You’re Depressed

Thursday, December 18th, 2014

How to Approach the Holidays When You're DepressedIt’s a myth that suicide rates skyrocket between Thanksgiving and Christmas. The truth is that the month of December has the fewest number of suicides than any other time of year (Karr, 2012). What is interesting to note, however, is that there is a significant increase of suicides right after Christmas — a 40 percent increase.

From the studies that have been done on depression, suicide, and the holidays, it seems that the winter holidays insulate many from suicide, but there is a sort of rebound effect that occurs once the holidays have passed (Karr, 2012).

7 Ways to Manage Mixed Emotions During the Holidays

Wednesday, December 17th, 2014

simplifying-holidays-shrinking-stress

As the holiday season is now in full swing, I can’t help but observe the swing of emotions — mine and that of those all around me.

On one hand, there is the child-like delight of magical holiday lights and decorations. Regardless of a “bah hum bug” mindset, it is hard to deny the spectacular beauty of homes and businesses bedecked with twinkling lights.

If you have little ones and family in your life, there is the excitement, enthusiasm and anticipation of the magical appearance of gifts and delectable feasts.

You Can’t Please Everyone

Tuesday, December 16th, 2014

a lightbulb on a book showing ideas from inspiration and educationI’ve had an interesting couple of weeks. I’ve been talking to an agent about a book proposal. The book is already written, but in talking to the agent I’ve come to realize that in order for him to take me on as a client, I would need to entirely rewrite the book. I gave his suggestions a shot with a few pages the other day and he still wasn’t happy. This is after a series of rejections about another book proposal with the same agent.

I kind of have the feeling that no matter what I do, no matter how I rewrite the book, there’ll be parts of it he’s not satisfied with.

Lessons Our Emotions Can Teach Us — and How We Can Learn

Monday, December 15th, 2014

Lessons Our Emotions Can Teach Us – And How We Can LearnMany of us dismiss our emotions. We think of them as capricious and inconvenient. We think they stall problem-solving. We think they take too much time to process, and we don’t have the luxury of simply sitting and stewing.

If we grew up in a home where emotions were vilified or regularly suppressed, where good girls didn’t get angry and good boys didn’t cry, we might’ve adopted the same views and habits of repressing ourselves.

VIDEO: Try This 5-Minute Yoga Vinyasa Flow for the Holidays

Sunday, December 14th, 2014

Between traveling, buying gifts, cooking the “perfect” meal and managing kids and in-laws, coming home for the holidays can be …

Addicted to Affluence

Sunday, December 14th, 2014

Shoe shoppingMany people mistake affluence for self-worth. You can buy what you want to buy. Live where you want to live. Own what you want to own. You’ve made it! What a worthy, wonderful person you are!

So how come you’re still feeling that it’s not enough? You bought what you wanted to buy. You feel great. Yet, a day later, rather than feeling pleased, you’re bored.

So, you rack up additional purchases on your favorite digital device. It’s so easy to shop these days. Or, tired of shopping, you plan another trip. You create another social event. And still it satisfies only for the moment.

Leaving a Written Legacy

Saturday, December 13th, 2014

Leaving a Written Legacy There are photos and videos that capture certain moments. Birthdays. Anniversaries. The everyday. There are stories that get retold to every generation. But largely when a family member dies, their stories die with them.

This holiday season a beautiful gift you can give to a loved one is a glimpse into your personal history. Because that history also is a history of them. Because photos rarely capture the thoughts we were thinking, the emotions we were feeling.

Psychology Around the Net: November 13, 2014

Saturday, December 13th, 2014

mindful-ways-minimize-holiday-stress

Check out this week’s Psychology Around the Net for information on mindfulness during the holidays, beating stress at work, making insecurity work for you (yes, you read that correctly!), and more.

3 Ways to Embrace Your Need for Solitude and Quiet Time: The holidays are a great time for this lesson on fear, guilt, and mindset.

5 Tips for Coping With Stress at Work Starting First Thing in the Morning: You’ve probably heard them all, but what would happen if you actually started practicing them?

Carefully Choose Your Actions with These 3 Mindfulness Tools

Friday, December 12th, 2014

Using Your Senses to Gain a Richer Life

“Your task is not to seek for love, but to seek and find the barriers within yourself that you have built against it.” — Rumi

As humans, we are creatures of habit. We not only stick to the same brand of shampoo, but we also have many mental, emotional, and behavioral patterns that we fall back on day to day.

This isn’t always a bad thing: mindlessly getting the same brand of shampoo every time saves us probably twenty minutes of careful comparison. We can’t be mindful all the time.

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