General

How to Forgive Yourself after Divorce

Divorce guilt comes in all sorts of mutating forms. It is normal for many of us to feel like we are somehow to blame for the divorce.

Culturally, we are taught that keeping the household and marriage successful was our responsibility, without so much a thought that it takes two people in a partnership. And naturally, because there was a lot of pressure on us to be perfect, when the marriage unraveled, our reaction was to blame ourselves for it.

It is time to knock it off. In order to overcome guilt, you must forgive yourself.

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Bullying

5 Things to Do if Your Job Makes You Cry

Frequent tearfulness, anxiety, fearfulness, insomnia and changes in appetite are often first symptoms of workplace stress. My clients who report these symptoms are also somewhat baffled by what could be the cause. They tell me, “I love my job and I’m good at it, so why does it suddenly upset me so much?"

Joan works as a nurse in a local hospital. She came to see me complaining that her panic attacks were getting worse and she was crying most days, unable to cope with a workload that, just a few months previously, had been no problem for her.

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Publishers

How to Say ‘No’ When You’re Being Pushed Too Far


Does this sound familiar?

A friend I'll call "Ed" kept pushing me to contribute to my school's alumni fund. The more he called me, the more stubborn I felt that my answer was, "No."

I felt that not only did I lack the money necessary to contribute in order to make a true difference, but I also knew whatever I could give would be paltry in relation to what the fund had already accumulated.

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Addiction

How Sex Addiction Can Change Mental Illness

I was married to a sex addict narcissist for close to 20 years. My father was a sex addict. I was a stripper many years ago and worked for many years around sex addicts. It started when I visited my father’s house on his weekend to have me after my parents' divorce. He was at work and I was a nosy child. I found a Playboy magazine. I remember it well. Suzanne Somers was on the cover. I slowly turned each page, looking at and soaking in the beauty and perfection of these women.

My immediate thought was that these women looked nothing like my mom. They were doing things my mom would never have done. I think I was only 8 or 9 years old. In that moment, I knew in my mind, like it was complete truth, that if I grew up and became a woman like that, I would be able to keep a man.

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Borderline Personality

Always Recovering, Never Recovered

"Always recovering, never recovered." A simple sentence that can be a harsh reminder. That's not to say your efforts or how far you've gotten were for naught, but to keep getting back up when you do fall.

I've learned over the years, of course, that it's extremely important to know you are not alone. Others are struggling and surviving alongside you and it's nothing to be ashamed of.

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Brain and Behavior

Why I Self-Sabotage

The mind is razor sharp, the water glass is refilled, and I am ready to unfurl my latest thought-providing Psych Central article.

Sitting down in my favorite chair, I fire up the trusty laptop and within minutes am listening to a belting Michelle, Missy, and James Corden in Carpool Karaoke. I am chuckling at Chris Martin’s delicious irony (stopping at a lemonade stand in a clever Coldplay reference). And, of course, I had to see if Jennifer Lopez had graduated from full-fledged diva into semi-relatable starlet. The answer: she was surprisingly likable.

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Children and Teens

4 Tips for Parenting Teens

Parenting is tough. It can get tougher when your child enters the teenage years. Understandably, you might feel overwhelmed when your child starts acting differently and stops wanting to spend time with you, preferring to hang with their friends. You might feel overwhelmed with their mood swings. You might feel anxious about navigating this next phase. You might be unsure.

What do you do? What actually helps? We talked to two experts, and an important theme emerged: empathizing with your teen and making sure they feel heard. Here’s how.
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Anxiety and Panic

5 Tips for Helping Your Troubled Teen

It can be tough to tell when a teen needs help. Because adolescence is a time of transition -- and even turbulence. Your teen is likely irritable and moody. They question their identity. In fact, they try on different identities, which can lead to inconsistent behavior.

According to psychotherapist Sean Grover, LCSW, this is known as developmental depression, which is totally normal for teens. “[T]eenagers go through a dramatic transformational period driven by biological and psychological maturation, hormone imbalances and irregularities in brain development.” Which fuels their emotional instability, he said.
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Family

3 Signs You Might Be Carrying Your Mother’s Insecurities

You may feel inadequate, filled with self-doubt, and don't know why. This may be stealing your confidence and joy in ways that are hidden to you. You may be so used to living this way you aren’t even aware that life could feel any different. Many daughters carry their mother's sense of unworthiness into their own lives without knowing it.

Behind many a demanding or controlling mother is an insecure person worrying that she will be found out, or a meek and mild wounded mother who isn’t outwardly critical but drags her daughter down in more subtle ways… never letting her fully live up to her potential.
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