Self-Esteem Articles

Suffering From Jealousy? Try These 10 Tips to Overcome It

Thursday, November 20th, 2014

green hourglass bigst

We’ve all been there. Maybe it was the popular cheerleader in high school who seemed to have it all: perfect hair, teeth, and her hunky boyfriend made you wonder if you’d ever outgrow your awkward stage. Or maybe it was the rising star at work who beat you out for the plum promotion you wanted without seeming to break a sweat. Perhaps it’s your Facebook “friend” who is chased by a never-ending stream of “Amazing!” selfie-narrated experiences.

Whatever your source of envy, the green monster is no fun companion. Jealousy can not only debilitate your relationships with others, it can also wreak serious havoc on your health. According to Donna Fremon-Powell , certified Guided Imagery Therapist in La Habra, California, emotions like anger, jealousy, hate and resentment produce a chemical that’s very similar to arsenic. “Simply put, your negative emotions are poisonous.”

Confessions of a Stage-Four People-Pleaser

Wednesday, November 19th, 2014

Confessions of a Stage-Four People-PleaserMy junior year of college, I bought a used computer for $100. It was cheap because the thing was as huge as it was heavy. The challenge was to walk with this cumbersome piece of technology across campus to my dorm. I was finally to the steps of Holy Cross Hall when I tripped and fell flat on my face.

Did I issue a four-letter word?

Of course not.

I apologized.

To the student who was on the stairs staring at me.

Raised to Be a Pleaser

Wednesday, November 19th, 2014

Raised to be a PleaserDo you have a strong need for approval from others? Do you have difficulty saying no, yet often feel resentful about what you agreed to do? Do you get overly involved with people’s problems, postponing attention to your own?

Try to please everyone and it’s likely you’re operating on overload.

3 Skills You Can Learn to Cope Effectively with Stress

Monday, November 17th, 2014

3 Skills You Can Learn to Cope Effectively with StressKnowing how to cope with stress healthfully may not come naturally, especially if your tendency is to beat yourself up. That only worsens your emotional tension and compromises coping. We also may perpetuate or even produce our own stress by thinking in absolutes or creating calamities out of any situation.

And we might experience stress when we fear that we don’t have the right resources to accomplish a task, said Jeremy Savage, MA, LPC, a professional counselor who specializes in the treatment of stress, depression and anxiety. These resources may include money, knowledge and energy, he said.

9 Quotes about Life from ‘Garden State’

Thursday, November 13th, 2014

9 Quotes about Life from Garden State“Garden State” is a comedy-drama movie featuring Zach Braff and Natalie Portman that captures the state of transition young adults experience in a refreshing light. The narrative features psychological undertones.

Andrew Largeman (Braff) has been medicated since he was 10 years old, resulting in his emotional detachment. He is simply going through the motions of day-to-day life. Sam, a vivacious 20-something with problems of her own, inspires Andrew to start really living.

Following are some thought-provoking quotes from the film (along with my own interpretations).

7 Signs Your Workplace is Toxic

Thursday, November 13th, 2014

toxic office

For many people, the office can feel like a second home. You spend the majority of your waking hours there and your co-workers may likely be the people you interact with most in your life, after family or a spouse.

If you’re not happy with your work environment, that dissatisfaction can carry over into your personal life, damaging everything from your self-esteem to your friendships. Toxic workplaces also can have an impact on your health: the increased stress of working in a dysfunctional office can lead to job burnout, fatigue, listlessness, and depression.

If any of the above symptoms ring a bell with you, it’s time to take stock of the dysfunction in your workplace in order to evaluate if the situation is fixable — or decide if it’s time to move on with your career.

How to Refrain from Getting Too Excited about Potentialities

Wednesday, November 12th, 2014

How to Refrain from Getting Too Excited about PotentialitiesA lot has been happening in my life.

I’ve had a lot of really exciting opportunities, for which I’m incredibly thankful, but I’ve also had many potential opportunities that fell through. Sometimes they fell through based on my inability to do the work, sometimes it just wasn’t the right fit and sometimes it was no fault of my own and extenuating circumstances got in the way.

Are You Living Authentically or According to Others’ Expectations?

Wednesday, November 12th, 2014

Are You Living Authentically or According to Others' Expectations? Ever feel like you’re just not getting enough done? You’re not heading in the right direction or being productive enough with your time? There may be a general malaise that creeps over you at the end of the day because you still haven’t gotten that raise or started working out or cut back on watching TV. You feel generally discontent because life isn’t looking the way you thought it would and you’re certain you should be doing more.

But what should your life look like and why? Where do these expectations come from and are they even what you want?

6 Eye-Opening Ways to Get to Know Yourself

Wednesday, November 12th, 2014

6 Eye-Opening Ways to Get to Know Yourself When you know yourself on a deeper level, you can create a life that is meaningful and joyous for you, according to psychotherapist Joyce Marter, LCPC. Art therapist Lisa Mitchell, MFT, calls this deeper level our “essence.” This is you at your center or core.

Knowing yourself also helps you distinguish your issues from someone else’s. “The better you know yourself and your psychology — your triggers, your relational themes and patterns, your biases, your tendencies — the better able you will be to both take responsibility for yourself as well as let go of that which is not yours to contain,” Marter said.

Mindfully Sitting with Shame

Tuesday, November 11th, 2014

Mindfully Sitting with ShameShame surfaced during my sitting meditation. When it first arrived, I wasn’t sure what to do. I wanted it to leave. It was going to ruin my calm meditation! And I was in a group meditation, which increased my discomfort, so I sat, hoping for something else to surface quickly.

Nothing else surfaced. We all sat silent. Shame was determined to stay, and in that moment, I was reminded of the poem, Guest House, by Rumi:

This being human is a guest house. Every morning a new arrival. A joy, a depression, a meanness, some momentary awareness comes as an unexpected visitor. Be grateful for whoever comes, because each has been sent as a guide from beyond.

When Depression Sneaks Up, Remember the Law of Opposites

Sunday, November 9th, 2014

When Depression Sneaks Up, Remember the Law of OppositesYou go to get something for lunch you always enjoy, but as soon as you look at the menu you’re just not hungry. You get on the treadmill and just can’t find the energy all of a sudden. You quit almost before you even begin.

Sometimes it’s not easy to spot changes in mood. Depression can creep up and just start taking things from you.

One morning I can’t get out of bed even though I went to sleep early the night before. Now I’m getting seconds and thirds of spaghetti and meatballs, and I feel like a bottomless pit. Soon I’m skipping all the activities or hobbies that used to bring me joy. I have no interest in anything.

Low Self-Esteem? Consider the Benefits of Actually Pampering Yourself

Saturday, November 8th, 2014

Spa Treatments

She ran her hands over my cheekbones, her fingerpads expert after years of experience, and ever so soft.

And it was already outrageous, already almost unbearable, because it felt so fine.

The bubbly, fluffy notion of self-indulgence, which fuels the spa industry, literally terrifies many of us who struggle with low self-esteem. Some of us dislike being touched by almost everyone. We so fear and disdain our bodies — how they look, what they do, what they don’t do, the million ways in which we think they’ve failed — that we maintain a highly fractious relationship with them, despite their confounding proximity.

Recent Comments
  • Jeanne Melanson: I love this article. I have suffered from chronic depression for most of my 58 years. I’ve...
  • Sparrow: That is a misunderstanding — getting 8 hours of consolidated sleep is natural and healthy. The broken...
  • Sparrow: I would like to second what Delayed2Sleep said. I live with Non-24-Hour Sleep-Wake Disorder and you...
  • delayed2sleep: To the author: Please remove the following paragraph from the article: “If you choose to...
  • Manda Wisheswell: Hello everyone. I read the ‘7 ways’ several months ago when my first depression started...
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