Children and Teens

5 Tips for Teaching Your Kids Self-Compassion

Self-compassion is vital for adults. It reduces anxiety and depression. It’s been linked to greater well-being, emotional coping skills and compassion for others. Unfortunately, many of us have a hard time practicing self-compassion. Instead we default to blaming, shaming, and bashing ourselves. We assume that self-criticism is a more effective approach. (It’s not.)

This is one reason why it’s important to teach self-compassion to our children — to give them a solid foundation for the future. A foundation for being kind and gentle with themselves and processing their thoughts and feelings without judgment. These are important skills for being a healthy adult and building healthy relationships.

But kids also need self-compassion now.
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How Do You Spot a Narcissist on Facebook?

Narcissists tend to use Facebook for validation, posting about their accomplishments including their diet and fitness routine, according to researchers at Brunel University London.

I do it. In fact, I do it all the time. I post to Facebook about how I worked out early or how great I'm doing at my fitness routine.

I share these posts because you wouldn't think I do any kind of fitness, and because I want to encourage myself to continue to exercise. I'm sort of accepting my body and body-shaming myself at the same time.
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Mental Health and Wellness

5 Ways Your Breasts Affect Your Mental Health

It's serious.

When you think about your boobs do you ever stop and think about how they could impacting your mental health?

I'm a person with an anxiety disorder and depression. It's not out of the ordinary for me on a bad day to cancel my plans because I can't find a shirt that "feels" right on my skin.

But I've never really stopped to think how my boobs have affected my mental health.

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The Powerless Pose: How the ‘Power Pose’ Debacle Illustrates Good Science at Work

The recent news that Amy Cuddy, a co-author of the original “power pose” study (and TED Talk presenter on the subject) no longer believes in this effect has grabbed headlines. And in January 2016, Slate published an article whose headline trumpeted the claim that the original study was “the latest example of scientific overreach.”

Many people are surprised, and maybe a bit angry, that scientists were wrong. Maybe the millions of people who watched the TED Talk feel a bit foolish because they unnecessarily struck silly poses in the mirror before going on a job interview!

The sky is falling, Chicken Little! How can we trust anything that researchers say?!

There’s just one problem with such a reaction: this saga is a pristine example of science working the way it’s supposed to!
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Inspiration & Hope

When Someone Tells You You’re Not Good Enough

Have you been rejected, told you don't have what it takes? You're probably doing something right.
Pretty much every famous person you can name risked rejection to get where they are, and got plenty of it. Any time you're doing something different, some people just aren't going to like it.
Among writers, it's common to wear rejection letters as badges of honor. Being told you don't have what it...
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How to Improve Self-Esteem After Drug Rehab

It’s normal to feel pretty low immediately after drug rehab, but if you’re still struggling to regain your self-esteem and it’s been longer than you thought it would be before you felt somewhat normal again, don’t fret. While it does take time to heal from all the damage that drug and alcohol abuse does to our bodies and minds, the good news is that we do heal.

Still, we may need a little help to get there. Here are some tips that may be effective.

Don’t be so hard on yourself.
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Psychology Around the Net: October 1, 2016

Ah, October, my absolute favorite month. How I've missed thee.

This year, I get to start off my favorite month at a wedding later today, watching two sweet friends marry and begin their lives together.

Speaking of marriage, let's take a look at some of this week's latest in mental health topics such as surviving a marriage with a special needs child as well as how the "selfie culture" is affecting young women's mental health, today's most common personality type, how your body reacts to food when you're stressed, and more.

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4 Ways To Stop Overthinking Your Mistakes

You know how when you trip walking down the street, it feels like the entire cityscape of people is staring at you in amusement? Or when you’ve worn the same pair of pants three times in one week, you’re completely paranoid your colleagues are judging you for your lack of fashion sense (or cleanliness)? What about when you fumble over your words in a presentation, and then can’t stop thinking about how every person in the room now thinks you’re a terrible speaker?

As human beings with egos and an innate self-awareness of our own feelings, actions and thoughts, we tend to notice and greatly exaggerate our flaws while assuming everyone around us has a microscope focused on our faults, mistakes and slip-ups. In truth, other people don’t notice them nearly as much as we assume. Why? Because they’re too busy noticing and greatly exaggerating their own flaws!
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Suicide Prevention Awareness: How to Ask

This month is suicide prevention awareness month. Statistics show that suicide is the 10th leading cause of death in the United States, and for every suicide, there are 25 attempts. There are many myths about suicide, and I believe there is one myth in particular that must be discussed.

If I ask someone directly if they are thinking about suicide, I might make them think about it or act on it.
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Anxiety and Panic

4 Hidden Ways Shame Operates

Shame is the painful sense of being flawed or defective. It is so painful to experience this toxic shame that we may find ways to avoid feeling it. Shame is more destructive when it operates secretly.

Here are some common ways that I’ve observed shame operating in many of my psychotherapy clients. Being mindful of the shame that lives inside us is the first step toward healing it and affirming ourselves more deeply.
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Anxiety and Panic

Breaking Up with My PTSD: The Reality of Recovering from Haunting Trauma

My almost life-long companion and I are actually breaking up. I should be more specific. What I’m breaking up with is more exactly known as C-PTSD, a form of PTSD. I think we’re in the final stages of our separation. It’s been a long and drawn-out breakup because that’s how it goes with C-PTSD. Once you get to know it well, you practice breaking up with it every day. Some days require more sorting out and negotiation than others.

It’s been around a long time for me. My children have all become very familiar with it even though they didn’t know what they’re really seeing. Most people outside of our home never even knew it was around.
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How to Stop Hurting When You Have a Narcissistic Parent

“If I accept that I can never have a real relationship with my father, it feels like I don’t have a father. If I accept that, am I still a son?”

Jack’s Story:

Jack is a 45-year-old architect, recently married for the first time. He came to therapy to deal with long-standing feelings of depression. His wife, ten years younger than Jack, wanted to start a family. Jack had spent years keeping a cool and cordial distance from his critical father. Now, as his wife pressed him to become a father himself, he felt flooded by sadness and insecurity. Could he be a good father? What if he messed it up?
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