Self-Esteem Articles

3 Skills You Can Learn to Cope Effectively with Stress

Monday, November 17th, 2014

3 Skills You Can Learn to Cope Effectively with StressKnowing how to cope with stress healthfully may not come naturally, especially if your tendency is to beat yourself up. That only worsens your emotional tension and compromises coping. We also may perpetuate or even produce our own stress by thinking in absolutes or creating calamities out of any situation.

And we might experience stress when we fear that we don’t have the right resources to accomplish a task, said Jeremy Savage, MA, LPC, a professional counselor who specializes in the treatment of stress, depression and anxiety. These resources may include money, knowledge and energy, he said.

9 Quotes about Life from ‘Garden State’

Thursday, November 13th, 2014

9 Quotes about Life from Garden State“Garden State” is a comedy-drama movie featuring Zach Braff and Natalie Portman that captures the state of transition young adults experience in a refreshing light. The narrative features psychological undertones.

Andrew Largeman (Braff) has been medicated since he was 10 years old, resulting in his emotional detachment. He is simply going through the motions of day-to-day life. Sam, a vivacious 20-something with problems of her own, inspires Andrew to start really living.

Following are some thought-provoking quotes from the film (along with my own interpretations).

7 Signs Your Workplace is Toxic

Thursday, November 13th, 2014

toxic office

For many people, the office can feel like a second home. You spend the majority of your waking hours there and your co-workers may likely be the people you interact with most in your life, after family or a spouse.

If you’re not happy with your work environment, that dissatisfaction can carry over into your personal life, damaging everything from your self-esteem to your friendships. Toxic workplaces also can have an impact on your health: the increased stress of working in a dysfunctional office can lead to job burnout, fatigue, listlessness, and depression.

If any of the above symptoms ring a bell with you, it’s time to take stock of the dysfunction in your workplace in order to evaluate if the situation is fixable — or decide if it’s time to move on with your career.

How to Refrain from Getting Too Excited about Potentialities

Wednesday, November 12th, 2014

How to Refrain from Getting Too Excited about PotentialitiesA lot has been happening in my life.

I’ve had a lot of really exciting opportunities, for which I’m incredibly thankful, but I’ve also had many potential opportunities that fell through. Sometimes they fell through based on my inability to do the work, sometimes it just wasn’t the right fit and sometimes it was no fault of my own and extenuating circumstances got in the way.

Are You Living Authentically or According to Others’ Expectations?

Wednesday, November 12th, 2014

Are You Living Authentically or According to Others' Expectations? Ever feel like you’re just not getting enough done? You’re not heading in the right direction or being productive enough with your time? There may be a general malaise that creeps over you at the end of the day because you still haven’t gotten that raise or started working out or cut back on watching TV. You feel generally discontent because life isn’t looking the way you thought it would and you’re certain you should be doing more.

But what should your life look like and why? Where do these expectations come from and are they even what you want?

6 Eye-Opening Ways to Get to Know Yourself

Wednesday, November 12th, 2014

6 Eye-Opening Ways to Get to Know Yourself When you know yourself on a deeper level, you can create a life that is meaningful and joyous for you, according to psychotherapist Joyce Marter, LCPC. Art therapist Lisa Mitchell, MFT, calls this deeper level our “essence.” This is you at your center or core.

Knowing yourself also helps you distinguish your issues from someone else’s. “The better you know yourself and your psychology — your triggers, your relational themes and patterns, your biases, your tendencies — the better able you will be to both take responsibility for yourself as well as let go of that which is not yours to contain,” Marter said.

Mindfully Sitting with Shame

Tuesday, November 11th, 2014

Mindfully Sitting with ShameShame surfaced during my sitting meditation. When it first arrived, I wasn’t sure what to do. I wanted it to leave. It was going to ruin my calm meditation! And I was in a group meditation, which increased my discomfort, so I sat, hoping for something else to surface quickly.

Nothing else surfaced. We all sat silent. Shame was determined to stay, and in that moment, I was reminded of the poem, Guest House, by Rumi:

This being human is a guest house. Every morning a new arrival. A joy, a depression, a meanness, some momentary awareness comes as an unexpected visitor. Be grateful for whoever comes, because each has been sent as a guide from beyond.

When Depression Sneaks Up, Remember the Law of Opposites

Sunday, November 9th, 2014

When Depression Sneaks Up, Remember the Law of OppositesYou go to get something for lunch you always enjoy, but as soon as you look at the menu you’re just not hungry. You get on the treadmill and just can’t find the energy all of a sudden. You quit almost before you even begin.

Sometimes it’s not easy to spot changes in mood. Depression can creep up and just start taking things from you.

One morning I can’t get out of bed even though I went to sleep early the night before. Now I’m getting seconds and thirds of spaghetti and meatballs, and I feel like a bottomless pit. Soon I’m skipping all the activities or hobbies that used to bring me joy. I have no interest in anything.

Low Self-Esteem? Consider the Benefits of Actually Pampering Yourself

Saturday, November 8th, 2014

Spa Treatments

She ran her hands over my cheekbones, her fingerpads expert after years of experience, and ever so soft.

And it was already outrageous, already almost unbearable, because it felt so fine.

The bubbly, fluffy notion of self-indulgence, which fuels the spa industry, literally terrifies many of us who struggle with low self-esteem. Some of us dislike being touched by almost everyone. We so fear and disdain our bodies — how they look, what they do, what they don’t do, the million ways in which we think they’ve failed — that we maintain a highly fractious relationship with them, despite their confounding proximity.

Try These 3 Tricks to Improve Your Self-Esteem

Thursday, November 6th, 2014

Self Confidence

It’s time to clean off the mud to reveal the true you.

You are in many settings throughout your day, and whether you’re at home, at work, at the gym, having a meal, engaged in personal time, interacting with your kids, partner, friends, or co-workers, your self-esteem affects 100 percent of how you appear in those situations and relationships.

Some of these instances might involve conflict, and how you feel (good or bad, happy or sad, respected or taken advantage of, abused or abusive — physically, mentally or emotionally) has everything to do with how you’ll respond. This is your self-esteem.

Dealing with Betrayal without Betraying Ourselves

Monday, November 3rd, 2014

kenshin__trust_and_betrayal_by_imnoweebo-d7daqulBetrayal is one of the most painful human experiences. We suddenly discover that what we thought was true is not true. When a person we’ve trusted suddenly undermines trust, our world is turned upside down.

Trusting a person means feeling safe with them. We trust that they respect us, care about us, and wouldn’t hurt us, especially intentionally. We feel betrayed as our eyes are suddenly opened to a new reality: what we thought was safe and reliable turns out not to be.

Early Signs of Love Addiction

Sunday, November 2nd, 2014

Early Signs of Love AddictionAs I strengthen my relationship with my wounded child, I realize that my childhood showed signs of a developing love addiction. There were aspects of my home life that primed me for neediness and a tendency to define my value in the eyes of others. Deprivation played a key role. Here are some of the things I recall:

My mother was a perfectionist. She was ruthless in her oversight of our household chores. I remember one event from when I was a young adult. My mother had made a big issue about no one helping her. So I stepped in to help.

Recent Comments
  • RepressedMem: Diane, I am so with you, even though the genders are reversed but the actions are identical except that...
  • joe blow: whats do you do when not even god steps in to help
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  • Edith: My comment is from personal experience. I believe that not everyone knows how to love. My own 80y/o mother has...
  • ADHD Dad: i bristle a little when I think of the ‘Disorder’ element of ADHD. I have 2 (of 3) children...
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