Self-Esteem Articles

The Power of Being Self-Compassionate

Monday, December 29th, 2014

The Power of Being Self-Compassionate Think about a time that you were overly critical with yourself. You looked in the mirror and didn’t like what you saw. You told yourself you were too skinny or too fat or even too average.

You picked apart the image looking back at you. Or you forgot something important, or made a mistake and you told yourself you were stupid or incompetent.

Research demonstrates that our brains have a negativity bias, meaning we are more sensitive to negative than positive. This is because in the natural environment, negative signals were a sign of trouble and therefore took up more of our awareness.

How to Put the Brakes On

Monday, December 29th, 2014

7 Ways to Navigate Self-DoubtA lot of people run through their lives going from one task to another without taking time to stop and smell the roses.

Our society is overworked, and as result, overstressed.

I know what it’s like to get so overwhelmed on something that you slowly start to lose your grip on reality. That’s just one of the many things I have to deal with while living with schizophrenia.

The point is, it’s important to put the brakes on when you start to feel overwhelmed. This is just as important for regular people as it is for people with a major mental illness. However, these two types of people don’t react to stress the same way.

How Identifying a Kindred Spirit Can Battle Low Self-Esteem

Thursday, December 25th, 2014

best friends

If low self-esteem had a Constitution, its First Amendment would be: I hate myself.

Its Second Amendment would be: Everyone hates me.

Illogically, maddeningly, this Second Amendment haunts even the most introverted among us. Not that the Second Amendment of Low Self-Esteem causes introversion, but rather that naturally born loners who are unlucky enough to start loathing themselves often fall under the tragic enchantment of thinking themselves universally loathed — believing it so deeply as to turn their lives into aim-to-please performances.

You Might be Codependent If…

Wednesday, December 24th, 2014

You Might be Codependent If...While there are many features of codependency, here are some top ones. See if these apply to you.

1. You are preoccupied with others’ feelings. A friend to whom I was talking years ago about my worries of having upset someone asked if I felt responsible for others’ feelings. I immediately thought to myself, “Well, yeah. I mean, aren’t I?”

Looking back now, I understand what my friend was getting at. His idea was that we each are responsible for our own thoughts, feelings or actions.

It’s OK to Say No to Opportunities

Monday, December 22nd, 2014

how-to-say-noWe’re all faced with choices every single day of our lives. We’re also faced with numerous opportunities. These choices and opportunities come in questions from our friends, loved ones and colleagues. Some opportunities have incredible potential to take us places we never could have imagined. Some are just everyday opportunities, such as going to the bar with some friends.

The problem with a multitude of choices is the fact that to some, we’re inevitably going to have to say no.

I’d Never Tell Anyone This, But…

Friday, December 19th, 2014

I’d Never Tell Anyone This, But…I was 12 years old when my 16-year-old cousin got me alone in a room and started feeling me up. I remember being so shaken and scared. I didn’t know what to do.

When I came home, I told my mother. I shall never forget what she said to me: “Stop making up stories. Your cousin is a good boy. You know that. Why would you want to say bad things about him? What’s wrong with you?”

I froze. Could I have imagined the whole thing? Could it not have happened? Could it have been my fault? I ran up to my room and never mentioned the incident again.

You Can’t Please Everyone

Tuesday, December 16th, 2014

a lightbulb on a book showing ideas from inspiration and educationI’ve had an interesting couple of weeks. I’ve been talking to an agent about a book proposal. The book is already written, but in talking to the agent I’ve come to realize that in order for him to take me on as a client, I would need to entirely rewrite the book. I gave his suggestions a shot with a few pages the other day and he still wasn’t happy. This is after a series of rejections about another book proposal with the same agent.

I kind of have the feeling that no matter what I do, no matter how I rewrite the book, there’ll be parts of it he’s not satisfied with.

Studies Show We Find Stressed Out People Less Attractive

Monday, December 15th, 2014

Ability to Manage Everyday Stress Key to Future Health SS

Your libido, appearance and more things that take a hit when you’re feeling too overwhelmed.

If being stressed out of your mind didn’t feel bad enough, there’s a study that will make you want to chill the eff out even more: Researchers discovered that men find stressed out women less attractive.

After men rated women’s faces for attractiveness, the study found that the prettiest faces consistently belonged to the women with the lowest levels of cortisol, the stress hormone.

Addicted to Affluence

Sunday, December 14th, 2014

Shoe shoppingMany people mistake affluence for self-worth. You can buy what you want to buy. Live where you want to live. Own what you want to own. You’ve made it! What a worthy, wonderful person you are!

So how come you’re still feeling that it’s not enough? You bought what you wanted to buy. You feel great. Yet, a day later, rather than feeling pleased, you’re bored.

So, you rack up additional purchases on your favorite digital device. It’s so easy to shop these days. Or, tired of shopping, you plan another trip. You create another social event. And still it satisfies only for the moment.

When Things Don’t Turn Out How You’d Hoped, Expected or Planned

Tuesday, December 9th, 2014

When Things Don’t Turn Out How You’d Hoped, Expected or PlannedMaybe you took a job that was supposed to be fulfilling, but you dread going to work. Maybe you studied intensely for many months but still didn’t pass the bar. Maybe you thought you’d be married by now, but you aren’t even dating anyone. Maybe you poured your heart into a project or relationship only to get fired or break up. Maybe you and your kids aren’t as close as you were before.

When life doesn’t turn out the way we’d hoped, planned or expected, we feel tremendous disappointment and start doubting everything, including ourselves, writes Christine Hassler, a life coach and speaker, in her book Expectation Hangover: Overcoming Disappointment in Work, Love and Life.

Are You Working for a Psychopath?

Monday, December 8th, 2014

talking_to_boss.original

Every boss has his or her moments when grumpiness or a negative attitude takes hold, causing them to lash out. Our superiors are human, after all, and they are entitled to bad days just like anyone else.

But have you ever worked for someone who seemed to constantly run hot and cold: charming and funny one second, then vicious and manipulative the next? If a power-wielding bully dominates your workplace, you could very likely be working for a psychopath.

Toxic People: You Don’t Need Permission to Walk Away

Sunday, December 7th, 2014

Toxic People: You Don’t Need Permission to Walk AwayToxic people prey on others. They dominate and control, disregard your needs and feelings. They focus on themselves and don’t seem interested in you at all. They seem to see other people as tools instead of whole, autonomous beings.

You may wonder, who would put up with this?

It seems like toxic people zoom in on those with low self-esteem. When you can’t appreciate yourself, it’s hard to stand up for yourself. You’ll second-guess whether you should walk away from toxic relationships, wondering if maybe your perception is off or you did something to deserve to be treated poorly.

Recent Comments
  • Chet Bush: Thank you Professor Betsy Hoza for your ‘much needed Study on the ‘impotence of...
  • Lucy: Hi Shawna – you really need to get away from your father. You also need to realise that nothing he says...
  • kazchaz: This is helpful, very much so and it would be great to hear from you again, with updates on your progress,...
  • sambo: I really need some help im so depressed and anxious I cant work or leave the house im on antidepressants and...
  • Concerned: My father was a narcissist. He basically ruined my mother’s life and she ended up dying young of...
Subscribe to Our Weekly Newsletter


Find a Therapist
Enter ZIP or postal code



Users Online: 15177
Join Us Now!