Self-Esteem Articles

You Can’t Force Things

Monday, October 13th, 2014

You Can't Force ThingsIt’s been tough getting to sleep the last few nights.

I’ll go to bed and turn off the light and then the thoughts start pouring in. I’ll worry that I didn’t do the right thing in any number of situations during the day. I’ll worry about the work I have to do the next day. I’ll worry that no matter what I do, I’ll never be closer to my dream of buying a house in the mountains.

It occurred to me last night while I was lying there, though, that you can’t force sleep. If you try to fall asleep and see that you’re not, that’s just one more thing to worry about. The sleep will come; it always does. There’s no point in trying to force it to happen.

How Self-Loathing and Self-Worshipping Lead to Lies

Sunday, October 12th, 2014

Learn to Tell the Truth

I once asked a friend whether she knew anything about Russian literature.

“No,” she intoned, shaking her head with a studiedly blank look in her eyes. “Not a thing.”

Later I learned that she’d written her Master’s thesis on Anna Karenina. She had lied in order to avoid the fate — dire, she thought — of looking like a know-it-all.

Room for Misery & Room for Joy: My Story

Friday, October 10th, 2014

misery joyMost people who have been sober longer than a year are asked to give a “lead” — to tell their story. Mine was structurally simple, covering what it was like, what happened, and what it’s like now. Having only drank for three years, my addiction story is pretty straightforward: I stopped guzzling down mood-altering beverages.

My depression story, however, is not.

There are too many circles and uneven ends to fit into any neat, compact narrative. It seems as though the longer you dance with the demon of depression, the more embracing you become of different health philosophies and the more tolerant of unanswered questions.

Is it open-mindedness or desperation?

I don’t know.

5 Warning Signs You’re Being Objectified

Wednesday, October 8th, 2014

Where is the line between healthy attraction and objectification? Know the warning signs now!

A new study shows that objectification can be linked to sexual coercion in romantic relationships. This is not surprising, for several reasons. More alarmingly, objectification is also statistically linked to sexual violence. This is also not surprising.

So how do you tell the difference between objectification and healthy attraction?

Learn to Love Your Body with These 3 Simple Steps

Tuesday, October 7th, 2014

Body Image

Happiness comes from embracing the authentic beauty of our bodies and here’s how!

We’re all exposed to the bombardment of images of women’s bodies, from television, movies, the internet, billboards, packaging and magazines — young, predominately white, thin, hard, flawless faces and bodies.

The images with which we’re assailed to sell us things are not authentic. They’re manipulated, photoshopped and radically changed — eyes made bigger, necks longer, skin smoother, legs thinner and on and on.

Counteracting Negative Self-Talk with Supportive Statements

Tuesday, October 7th, 2014

Counteracting Negative Self-Talk with Supportive Statements How we talk to ourselves affects everything. It influences everything from how we feel about ourselves to the decisions we make. Negative self-talk can sabotage and undermine our efforts in any part of our lives.

For instance, if you keep telling yourself you’re unworthy or incapable — “I can’t do this! I’m not smart enough!” — you might not pursue a promotion or ask for a raise at work. If you keep telling yourself you’re undeserving of love — “I have too much baggage!” — you might not date or date people who mistreat you. You might stay in toxic relationships, and let others walk all over you.

Compare and Despair: On Losing Jealousy

Monday, October 6th, 2014

PointeShoesWhen I was 11, I auditioned for a ballet school. Miss Jo, the founder of the program, and of The Dayton Ballet Company, came to the auditions and sat next to my mom.

“Your daughter has beautifully arched feet,” she told my mom. “Although we wish all dancers had high arches, it will make it more difficult for her to learn pointe. Keep her out of the advanced classes so that she doesn’t become discouraged.”

3 Ways Breaking Up Can Actually Improve Your Life

Sunday, October 5th, 2014

Breaking Up

Learn about some of the positive things that can come out of a difficult breakup.

Breaking up is a horribly painful experience, whether it’s with someone you’ve only been dating for a little while or with a spouse you’ve been married to for years. I rank it up there in terms of stress with those other biggies — losing your job, moving, and so on. You’re likely to lose sleep, eat more or less, feel angry and sad (maybe at the same time), and wonder why this had to happen to you.

Being Able to Hear Yourself Think

Sunday, October 5th, 2014

head_workingHow many thoughts do we have in a day? There seem to be several conflicting numbers in the current literature, ranging from 12,000 to 80,000 per day.

With this high volume of mental activity, not all of our thoughts can be true, useful, or noteworthy. We often act like our thoughts are gospel truth and allow them to dictate our moods and reactions. We are human, and that’s what we do, until we have a method, rationale, or motivation to do otherwise.

How to Be Happy

Wednesday, October 1st, 2014

How to be HappyHappiness is a tough one.

We spend a lot of our time and billions of dollars trying to obtain happiness. Inevitably, though, we find ourselves back in the grind: dreading going to work, dreading doing the myriad errands and responsibilities it takes to live as a human being in this multifaceted world.

The thing about happiness, though, is it’s not supposed to be constant.

How to Sit with Painful Emotions

Tuesday, September 30th, 2014

upset-young-male

Feeling painful emotions, not surprisingly, can be painful. This is why so many of us don’t do it. Instead, we ignore our emotions, or dismiss them. We try to numb the pain with a glass of wine or three. We isolate ourselves. We cut or burn ourselves, or engage in other kinds of self-harm.

Basically, we turn to anything that’ll help us get rid of our feelings.

The Heartbreak of Mental Illness

Monday, September 29th, 2014

The Heartbreak of Mental IllnessI was talking to a friend the other day who is a clinician at a home for people with mental illness, and I told her I know what it’s like to suffer. She said something that struck a chord, though: she said she thought it was more a case of heartbreak than anything else.

I had never heard it described that way before, but I knew exactly what she meant.

I can remember when I was first diagnosed. I was so crushed by the label of schizophrenia that I could hardly will myself to do anything. I was in fact, heartbroken.

Recent Comments
  • Truth: With many of you women out there being so Damn picky and playing hard to get is the reason why there are so...
  • Emily: Michael – I keep reading your article. I changed my phone alarm to positive statements. I’m...
  • Jamarie: I just wanted to respond on your post, Milly. Not sure you will get this and that the post was all the way...
  • broken wife: I have been married to a schzi-bipolar husband for 32 years. Not sure how much longer this will work.I...
  • Lee G.: Ladies, I’m so sorry to hear how many of you are suffering with this. I was diagnosed about 10 years...
Subscribe to Our Weekly Newsletter


Find a Therapist
Enter ZIP or postal code