Sex addiction is an escalating state of dysfunction affecting body, mind and spirit. It is a series of sexual acting-out behaviors that are kept secret and are abusive to self or others. Sex addiction is used to avoid painful feelings, but often can be the source of such feelings.

Acting out sexually for a sex addict alters consciousness and feelings. It is a mental preoccupation which includes obsession and compulsion, and is devoid of a caring relationship. Sex addicts are unable to stop their behaviors on their own, but can be responsive to the recovery process using a 12-step model such as Sex Addicts Anonymous (SAA).

A formal disclosure is an important piece when putting together the recovery puzzle. It involves the sex addict and his or her partner meeting with a therapist trained in sex and love addiction issues.

Save the date for our latest free webinar, to be held next Monday, June 24: Cultivate Empowering Beliefs – How to Create Personal Freedom and End Self-Sabotage.

If you tend to sabotage your plans in life, it is likely because of personally held, but conflicting beliefs.

Conflicted beliefs manifest conflicted behaviors. The problem is, many limiting beliefs operate beneath the surface. Even though they affect you deeply, you may not be aware of them or how they work against you.

In this new webinar by Psych Central blogger and life coach Mike Bundrant, you will learn the source of your negative beliefs… as well as how to let them go.

10:00 a.m. Accidentally pressed “reply all” to everyone in my company, offering sincere condolences to a co-worker who lost her mom three years ago, which spurred dozens of emails companywide on who died, and whether or not the company should send flowers.

Oops.

10:50 a.m. Wrote a premature announcement on a website that I would not be blogging there anymore –which got me cut off from access to the blog.

Yikes!

12:00 p.m. Forgot my towel at the public pool. Had to air off using the hand and hair dryers.

Embarrassing.

5:30 p.m. Showed up at my daughter’s book group on time for once! The mom answers the door and tells me it’s next week.

Really?

That is an average beginning to most days.

Immature love says, “I love you because I need you.”

Mature love says, “I need you because I love you.”
~ Erich Fromm

One of the best things about “being in love” is that you feel really good about yourself. It’s not only that you perceive the other person as terrific; it’s that you feel terrific about who you are and what you’re about. Yes, emotions are contagious. People catch them from others. So, when your love is acting lovingly toward you, it’s natural for you to feel joyous, confident, smart and secure.

Yet, as time passes, some “loving relationships” become anything but loving — indeed, some become downright abusive. How does something like that happen? How can “love” be experienced so differently by different people?

All around us there are competent, smiling people with good hearts and good jobs. Stand-up men and women who do their best to provide for their family, friends, children, and co-workers. People who laugh easily at others’ jokes, generously offer advice and compassion, and put others’ needs before their own.

But if we look a little more closely, we might see a flicker of self-doubt in the eyes of these fine folks. If we listen with a little extra care, we may sense a subtle lack of self-worth lurking beneath their surface. If we watch a little more attentively, we may see some effort behind their smiles and a waver in their confidence.

These are the people who are living their lives under the influence of powerful, invisible childhood emotional neglect (CEN).

So your partner left. You’re alone and have to cope on your own with the loss of the relationship.

Not only is your partner physically gone, but you are now left with hurt, anger, grief, frustration, and several other feelings.

How do you cope? How do you move forward? How do you resume a normal life and feel happy again?

Most people have heard the old adage “time heals all wounds.” This is true for the ending of relationships as well. In the moment it may feel like you will never heal, but it gets easier with time.

There also are things you can do to get back on your feet and get back to a healthier and happier you. Here’s a few ideas to begin the healing process.

German psychoanalyst Eric Fromm said, “The task we must set for ourselves is not to feel secure, but to be able to tolerate insecurity.”

Everyone I have ever known — I take that back — every likable person I have ever known in this world has admitted to periods of sheer insecurity. They looked at themselves from the perspective of someone else — perhaps a person with no appreciation of their talents, personality traits, abilities—and judged themselves unfairly according to the perverted view.

I am terribly insecure much of the time. I grew up with bad acne, braces, and a twin sister who was in the popular group. The adolescent self-doubt had sticking power. At times I can pull off the image of a self-confident author and writer, but it usually lasts as long as the speaking event or lunch with my editor.

Lately the junior high inferiority complex has made a surprise visit, and I’m more insecure than usual. So here’s one of those lists that people are always writing — suggestions on what to do if you are feeling insecure, too.

You’re upset about something that happened to you. It’s not easy for you to get beyond it. It could have happened today or decades ago. It could be what others consider a big thing (a death) or a small thing (a slight). No matter. What happened to you still triggers emotional pain.

Others are sympathetic at first, offering empathy and support. But it’s not long in our fast-paced society until people begin to lose patience with you. “Get over it already!” is their new message.

Not a bad idea, you think. But how do you do this? If you could get over it already, wouldn’t you have done it?

Most of us would like to believe that we don’t judge others. While this may be somewhat true, we often make assumptions about an individual based on the first impression.

Many of us are able to move forward and form a final opinion once we get to know an individual. They either confirm what we assumed or we realize we were wrong.

Knowing that assumptions are made after the first impression, it is natural to want to give our best in that moment. Below are several tips on how to make a great first impression in any situation.

It has been several years now that we have been bringing Emotional CPR (eCPR) — our public health education program designed to teach laypeople to assist each other through emotional crisis — to communities across the United States and overseas.

Many people have told us that the skills they have learned in our training have helped them communicate better in all their relationships. They also tell us that eCPR is a “way of life,” in that it is a practice of being more accepting of and present to ourselves and others. This is very good news, and it is an invitation to take our understanding of eCPR to a deeper level.

A few months ago I had the great honor of speaking with Kofi Annan, former secretary general of the United Nations, after a talk he had given here in Washington, D.C. We spoke about eCPR and there was a moment that I will remember for the rest of my life.

He looked deep into my eyes and said, “We are in the same line of work. We are peacemakers.”

One of my treasured books from favorite author Linda Schierse Leonard, “The Wounded Woman,” had the most beautiful, sacred, royal-looking design on a deep purple cardstock page insert, simply announcing the name of the publishing company, Shambhala.  That card, alone, I remember, was as fascinating to me as the book’s title and the mysterious, wise teachings of Carl Jung, brought to life by the woman author devoted to sharing archetypal insights.  (“The Call to Create” and “Creativity & the Veil of Addiction” are just two others Schierse-Leonard penned.)

Back in the ‘80s — before the age of websites — I filled out the card and sent it in to receive their catalog of books and see what else they had up their sleeve.  Over the years, it seemed I’d only sporadically receive a brochure (as fits and starts to publishing houses’ marketing efforts came into the digital age). 

Having the same effect as the cardstock insert, though, as soon as the first one arrived some 20-plus years ago, I was captivated anew.

When working with depressed people, …