Relationships Articles

A Codependent’s Take on the Disney Song ‘Let It Go’

Saturday, July 5th, 2014

A Codependent's Take on the Disney Song "Let It Go"I finally broke down and watched the movie Frozen. I just don’t have any compelling reasons to watch Disney these days, with no kids under 10 in my household. So it took me a while to get around to it.

Of course, I’d heard the hit song during and after the Academy Awards (who could have missed all the chatter about Travolta’s gaffe with Idina Menzel’s name?). Quite honestly, the song just didn’t do that much for me.

How Depression Damages Your Relationship & What You Can Do

Friday, July 4th, 2014

How Depression Damages Your Relationship & What You Can DoDepression is a difficult illness that darkens your thoughts and feelings. It saps your self-esteem, energy, motivation and interest in anything. It’s also tough on romantic relationships.

According to psychologist Shannon Kolakowski, PsyD, in her book When Depression Hurts Your Relationship: How to Regain Intimacy and Reconnect with Your Partner When You’re Depressed, depression diminishes your ability to connect with your partner and creates doubts about your union. Symptoms such as anger and irritability can create tension between partners.

You Are Not Alone in Your Diagnosis of Mental Illness

Thursday, July 3rd, 2014

You Are Not Alone in Your Diagnosis of Mental IllnessIn the eight years I’ve lived with schizophrenia I’ve seen horrible days and I’ve seen days where the sun seemed to shine just right on my face and strike a certain happiness in my soul.

Throughout every day, though, I’ve struggled with my thoughts.

There isn’t a day that goes by where a bit of panic doesn’t creep up into me. In those moments it can feel like the world is against you. It can feel like you are the only person alive who is feeling that certain kind of panic, but I’m here to tell you that you’re not.

How to Help a High-Functioning Alcoholic in Denial

Thursday, July 3rd, 2014

How to Help a High-Functioning Alcoholic in DenialHigh-functioning alcoholics might be one of the most dangerous types. They often are in denial about their alcoholism. They don’t realize how hard their drinking is on family members and friends, and since they seem to function normally, they don’t see a problem with it.

High-functioning alcoholics do not fit the “drunk” stereotype. They might reason that because they go to work and school, interact with their family, manage a household, and fulfill their everyday responsibilities, they can’t possibly have an alcohol problem.

Recovering from Codependency

Wednesday, July 2nd, 2014

Recovering from CodependencyTonight in my CoDA meeting we read from Step Ten of Melody Beattie’s book Codependents’ Guide to the Twelve Steps. I highly recommend this book if you are serious about getting your head in the right place. It’s a great place to start.

What struck me this evening was this paragraph:

I kept trying to forgive [addicts] for [their addictions] when I was still allowing myself to be victimized by their [behavior]. I kept substituting forgiveness and denial for acceptance of reality. I had concepts confused.

Are You Making Excuses that Prevent You from Finding Love?

Tuesday, July 1st, 2014

Dating with Schizophrenia

Are you the reason you’re still single?

I’ve heard many excuses from women telling why they can’t find a man to love. I understand where they’re coming from; there was a time when I had plenty of excuses myself.

But making excuses for why you can’t find a partner is dangerous to your love life. It will not only keep love away from you. It will cause you a lot of unhappiness.

Shh…Create a Love that Lasts Forever with These Secret 5 Steps!

Monday, June 30th, 2014

3 Ways 'Love' Benefits Your Health

Make your partner feel good and don’t forget the little things.

Developing the secure, fulfilling bond you deserve with your partner is hard work, but it is not impossible. Below are five characteristics of every strong bond and what you can do to help create a deep, loving connection.

I Can’t Believe They Did That! Taming Judgmental Tendencies

Monday, June 30th, 2014

I Can’t Believe They Did That! Taming Judgmental TendenciesBeing judgmental can be a good thing. Our judgment is a survival skill, according to psychotherapist Joyce Marter, LCPC. It helps us stay out of danger.

For instance, you use good judgment when you don’t give your phone number to a man who’s “separated” from his “crazy” wife, or invest money in a hot new business started by your nephew who has a gambling problem, she said.

However, when we use judgment beyond its survival value, it can ruin relationships, “because nobody likes to feel they’re being scrutinized by a ‘Judge Judy.’”

Conscientious People Might Use More ‘Filler Speech’ (Um, You Know)

Sunday, June 29th, 2014

People Talking

Turns out it isn’t what you say — but how you say it, that matters.

There aren’t many guys roaming the earth who’d honestly define their type as the superficial and super-naïve Cher Horowitz from Clueless. The valley-girl persona has always been associated with a narrow world view and, well, talking like you’ve hiked up the Kardashian hill has always made you look a little stupid.

But apparently, all that’s about to change. According to new research published in The Journal of Language and Social Psychology, people who use “filler speech” are actually more conscientious than we’ve ever given them credit for.

The Secret to Great Relationships of Any Kind

Thursday, June 26th, 2014

The Secret to Great Relationships of Any KindGerry Spence, the famous attorney who has an amazing record for winning in court, says that people have “truth tentacles.” That’s how he became so successful — by telling juries the truth.

I agree; I think people can tell when they’re being lied to. Sometimes we may put blinders on because we don’t like the reality we see, but deep inside, we generally know the truth.

Letting Go and Moving On After a Breakup or Divorce

Wednesday, June 25th, 2014

Letting Go and Moving On after a Breakup or DivorceHeartbreak hurts. Loss is shattering. Put these two together and you’ve got the lovely one-two punch that can come with breakups of short-lived or long-term relationships.

It brings most everyone down. Otherwise emotionally-guarded people crumble into a mess of anger, sadness and confusion. Task-oriented folks lose focus and motivation. Forgiving types start learning how to hold a grudge.

Twenty-Somethings and Love: 10 Lessons to Learn ASAP!

Wednesday, June 25th, 2014

3 Therapy Exercises to Help Couples Connect

Let’s bust some terrible ideas!

People in their twenties are full of life and promise, and that’s a great thing. But they are also full of some lousy ideas about love.

So let’s take a moment to educate ourselves on the things we need to know, and the misconceptions we need to drop, ASAP.

Recent Comments
  • briony: I agree. I fully understand these concepts and have worked in some for years. But to this day (10 years on)...
  • Raina: If you want to see a culture where the boys lean on each others shoulders and sleep on each others laps,...
  • Teeny: Get over yourself.
  • Heels: Nowhere in the article do I see insensitivity. Diabetes type 1 and 2 run in my family, and I know how...
  • Freyasmews: I appreciate this short list, as well. I’m currently grieving a death in a series of deaths that...
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