How You Can Better Love a Partner With Depression

It’s not easy.

Watching someone you love experiencing pain is one of the hardest things in the world, particularly when you can’t do anything about it.

I’ve witnessed couples go through this with terminal diseases before and it’s absolutely heartbreaking. In my own relationship, I’ve lived through a much less severe version of that experience, but that doesn’t mean that the pain hurts any less.

I love a woman who suffers from depression.

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Marriage and Divorce

World Champion Cubs Toss Marriage Tip: Regroup!

Did you know that the same traits we admire in sportsmanship exist in good marriages? Spouses who want to keep their relationship growing nicely can pick up a few ideas from Chicago Cubs outfielder, Jason Heyward, and manager Joe Maddon. Many give Heyward’s inspiring World Series weight room speech credit for restoring his team’s spirits up after their several-run lead against the Cleveland Indians had dwindled to a 6-6 tie...
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Why Am I Uncomfortable Getting Close to People?

Many of us are hesitant to get emotionally close to others. Getting close means sharing feelings, thoughts, wishes and dreads. Getting close means sharing your true self, flaws and all, with someone else who totally accepts us.

Many people, who are hesitant to get close to others, wish they were not hesitant. They yearn for intimacy. They yearn to be known. And, they feel lonely.

But, closeness can be uncomfortable  --  not only mentally but physically as well.
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Inspiration & Hope

Don’t Rush It: The Importance of Waiting

The older I get (I’m 53) the more I realize that life often moves at a slower pace than I’d like. This runs contrary to the buzz today that life is moving faster than the speed of light, that we’re all running around so quickly that we don’t have the time to think. Yes, we have picked up the pace due to technology, but there still exists a time frame that sometimes runs as slowly as proverbial molasses.

Furthermore, I have learned that rushing things can often be often be a form of suicide. If we try to speed up the natural pace of existence, it can be to our detriment.
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Can Leopards Change Their Spots?

At the end of a frustrating therapy session, Emma turned to her husband and said, “you’ll never change.” Feeling defeated, she then turned to me and said, “My mother always said, ‘a leopard doesn’t change its spots.’ Now I see what she means. Do you think that people ever really change the way they are? ”

“Of course I do!” I responded. “That’s why I’m a psychologist. That’s why I love my work. People can and do change -- when they’re open to it.”

Now it is true, that a total personality change is not in the cards for most people -- nor should it be. We are who we are. But changing aspects of one’s behavior (how we think, what we do, how we speak) is definitely possible and happens all the time as people adjust to new circumstances.
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Relationship Tips When a Partner Is in Recovery

Sustaining and nurturing a romantic relationship is challenging for any couple, but when one member of the couple is in recovery there are additional forces at play. There are often unresolved issues resulting from events and behaviors that occurred during the period in which one partner was actively misusing substances. And that partner may also be experiencing the lingering withdrawal symptoms, cravings and “highly sensitive nervous systems” that are common to those in early withdrawal. Relationship expert Dr. Beverly Berg highlights many of these issues, and others that are common to all couples, in this installment of Professional Voices. - Richard Juman, PsyD

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10 Common Challenges When Your Spouse Has Depression

It's no walk in the park.

When you're married to someone, you're committed -- through thick and thin, sick and well. But when you're married to someone with depression, sometimes you feel a little sick yourself.

How do you manage to care for your partner yet also find happiness, both within and outside of the marriage? How do you live with a partner who at times may consider suicide or shut off from everyone, including yourself?

It's not easy. And sometimes, it pushes you to the brink of your own sanity. Here are 10 struggles spouses of someone with depression know too well.

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Understanding the Different Types of Infidelity

The expectation of exclusivity and monogamy is common, although not always adhered to in a marriage or long-term relationship. When this expectation isn’t met, emotional damage can occur, including feelings of severe anger or rage. Some people experience a sense of betrayal and loss of trust in their partner while some lose a sense of personal confidence and self-esteem.

Many people have struggled to differentiate between platonic friendships and infidelity. While a friendship with the opposite sex is not the determining factor, the issues of faithfulness, deception and betrayal are.

There are several different types of infidelity that may occur in a relationship. Understanding the differences is important, so one doesn’t fall prey to one or more types of infidelity. It is also helpful to know the types in order to be able to continue to nourish and work on one’s couple.
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The 7 Startling Phases of Loving a Narcissist

Being in a relationship with a narcissist robs you of a piece of your soul.

Maybe you are feeling a desperate need to try and salvage a relationship you intuitively know is unhealthy, or maybe you are wondering why you can't "let go" and "move on" from the loss of your relationship. It's possible that you are in love with a narcissist and are now owning the blame for all the sudden problems or downfall.

A narcissist is someone who will enter your life and consume your entire existence all for selfish benefit. Understanding the whirlwind and accepting the finality of a relationship with a narcissist will show that we possess tremendous value. Here's the cycle of loving a narcissist.

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What a Real Apology Looks Like

To be human is to hurt people sometimes. Yet it’s not always easy to offer a genuine apology when we’ve injured or offended someone.

We need robust inner resources and an open heart to keep from descending into denial -- or slipping into a shame-freeze -- when we realize that we’ve violated someone’s sensibilities. It takes courage to downsize our ego and accept our human limitations with humility and grace.
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