Children and Teens

What to Do When You Feel Unmotivated in Your Career (And 3 Ways to Do Your Best Work)

We’ve all faced days at the office where we’re just not feeling motivated. Off days happen to everyone and it’s tough -- if not unrealistic -- to constantly do your best work. There are bound to be times when you procrastinate too much, lack focus, or struggle to start important projects.

You may react by getting down on yourself, wondering where your determination has gone. It can be disappointing to feel like you’re not living up to your aspirations, especially when there’s important work to be done, which there almost always is. Speed, efficiency, and productivity are what drive results, and when our energy doesn’t match our ambition, it can be frustrating.
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Brain and Behavior

10 Flimsiest Excuses for Not Taking Action

When a decision needs to be made and work must be done, instead of springing into action and doing what’s necessary, too often the temptation is to offer an excuse. More often than not, the excuse is a lame one, such as the following:

I don’t know how.
Did it ever occur to you that you might have been given this task or project as a way to expand your skills, gain new insights, or expand your abilities? Don't push it aside because you are unfamiliar with it or lack experience in doing it. Doing so makes you look weak, ineffective and possibly lazy. Ask for help if you need it. That’s a more proactive approach when you need to take action.
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Family

3 Things You Might Be Neglecting in Your Relationship — and Tips to Help

All relationships require care and tending. Anything that you want to thrive does. But in the midst of our fast-paced days and family obligations, we may neglect the very actions that are essential to building a beautiful union. Or maybe we miss these vital components because we never knew about them in the first place. After all, so many of us aren’t taught how to have healthy relationships. For instance, we assume that we’re listening to our spouses because, well, we can hear them. But hearing someone’s words and understanding them are two very different things.

Below are three things you might be neglecting to do in your relationship -- along with some helpful suggestions from
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Family

3 Tips to Take Your Marriage from Good to Great

Good marriages are healthy marriages. They’re built on a foundation of love, trust, safety, commitment and respect. Great marriages have these elements, too. But they go further.

Below, John Harrison, LPCC, a counselor and coach who specializes in working with couples, shares three ways to transform a good marriage into a great one. His tips are simple and straightforward. But these are not quick, empty fixes. Instead, they are steps we must take on a regular basis to enhance our relationship and connect on a deeper, truer level with our one and only. 

Challenge each other
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Brain and Behavior

Surviving the Traffic Jams of Life

The shrill horn startles you. “Hey, jerk, pay attention,” a flat-chested trucker shrieks at you. Waving in his direction, you respond with your own blue streak. Sadly, your vulgar mouth moves faster than the gnarled traffic. The 7 a.m. commute is a fitting metaphor. Stuck in an unfulfilling job and crumbling relationship, a catnap is a futile reprieve from your sinking life.

In the U.S., we face snarling traffic, time-sucking commutes, and soul-sucking jobs. In 2015, Los Angeles commuters wasted 81 hours rotting in traffic. Even in cities regarded for their quality of life (I am looking at you Denver, Seattle, and Minneapolis), choking traffic is the norm.

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Children and Teens

5 Ways to Help Young Kids Communicate Their Emotions

One of the most valuable lessons you can teach your child is to identify and manage their emotions. Doing so shows them that experiencing a range of emotions is normal. Kids who learn healthy ways to express and cope with their emotions show less behavioral problems. They feel more competent and capable.

“Being able to talk about emotions sets the foundation for healthy problem solving and conflict resolution,” said Sarah Leitschuh, LMFT, a psychotherapist who specializes in helping families develop healthy ways to communicate about and cope with emotions. These skills also help kids to maintain healthy relationships right now and as they get older, she said.

Sometimes, however, parents teach or model the opposite to their kids: They inadvertently create a space where a child feels uncomfortable expressing their emotions, Leitschuh said.
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Depression

What Depression Is & What It Isn’t

Depression is one of the most recognized psychological disorders. It’s certainly common. A 2014 survey found that 6.6 percent of American adults or 15.7 million suffered from a major depressive episode within the past 12 months, said Sandra Hamilton, Ph.D, a psychologist who specializes in treating depression, anxiety and relationship issues. With something so prevalent, many of us may assume we know what it is.

But assumptions can quickly turn to misconceptions. Misconceptions about what depression looks and feels like. Misconceptions about whether people really want to get better. Misconceptions about the seriousness of depression. Which is important because depression is serious. It affects a person’s entire being. It affects their entire life.
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Personal

10 Warning Signs You’re in a Codependent Relationship

Are you a codependent person?

"Ugh, I am so not a codependent person," said the codependent person. "I'm way too independent and responsible to depend on another person like that. In fact, it's all the other people in my life with the issues, and I'm stuck cleaning up their messes."

I didn't think I was a codependent person either, until I was slammed into reality one night in a Barnes & Noble aisle. There I was, sprawled under the four shelves labeled "Addiction," desperately thumbing through each book with shiny streaks down my face.
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ADHD and ADD

Maintaining a Household When Both Partners Have ADHD

Maintaining a household is hard enough. But when both partners have ADHD, there are extra challenges. These kinds of responsibilities require planning and prioritizing and performing and completing often boring tasks -- all of which is difficult for adults with ADHD. (Because people with ADHD have impairments in executive functioning.)

“It’s very unlikely that both partners have the same kind of ADHD. What usually happens is that one of them takes the place of the non-ADHD partner,” said
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Depression

My Depression Was a Dealbreaker for Him


He found out by Googling me.

I have been writing candidly about my life for as long as I can remember. I've never been able to pull off fiction because my brain doesn't work that way, but I have been able to, as Hemingway put it, "sit down at a typewriter and bleed." Or, since it is the 21st century, sit down at a computer and just let it all out.

Maybe I'm a product of the 21st over-sharing generation or maybe I just want others to feel less alone in their own struggles; some days, I'm not quite sure. But either way, the topics in which I choose to cover never fail to evoke a strong response, and I would never want it any other way.

One such topic, from which I’ll never steer, is my depression.
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Bullying

Why the Selfish People in Your Life Aren’t Going Away

"Selfishness is not living as one wishes to live, it is asking others to live as one wishes to live." -- Oscar Wilde
Selfish people consume the time and energy of others and, despite what you tell yourself, there’s no end in sight to their narcissism.
“I’ll just do this last thing for her and then I’ll get back to my own affairs.”
“Maybe if I’m passive aggressive, he’ll take the hint that I have my own things to worry about.”
“She appreciates me in her own way…”
You can’t wait around for the day selfish people finally appreciate your time and show respect for your needs. It’s time to stop being manipulated and start focusing on yourself.
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College

The Ladder of Success is Different for Different People

“Welcome to the neighborhood. You will love our cozy cul-de-sac. See you at the annual block party!” the Jones’s pastel invitation coos.

Don’t know the Joneses? In reality, you have known them your entire life.

The Joneses represent homecoming Barbie and Ken, doting college sweethearts, first-time homebuyers, the ascending professional couple, and the glitzy “it” couple living in the tree-shrouded corner home. Which, incidentally, is where you and your family will be mingling awkwardly at the Friday block party.
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