Best of Our Blogs

Best of Our Blogs: August 12, 2016


Best-selling author Dr. Barbara De Angelis has said, "We don't develop courage by being happy every day. We develop it by surviving difficult times and challenging adversity."

Sometimes, those difficult times come from the dynamics of a relationship. Other times, they come from dealing with our own personal matters.

All times, though, we can pull strength from ourselves and conquer to those difficult times to obtain the courage we need to face any other trials that come our way -- and let's face it, there will be more. Such is life, but also such is the resilience of humans.

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General

Does Sexual Satisfaction Change the Longer You’re in a Relationship?

A common relationship secret shared among couples in a long-term relationship (whether married or not) concerns the frequency of sex. Although this open secret is usually about married couples, it's a concern shared by anyone in a long-term relationship. The longer the relationship, the conventional thinking goes, the less sex you're likely having. And maybe the reason you're having less sex is because it's less enjoyable for either you, your partner, or both of you.

Is there any truth to this belief that sexual enjoyment (and perhaps frequency) fades the longer you're in a relationship? Does science have the answer? You bet.

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General

What Healthy, Happy Couples Do and Don’t Do

There is no such thing as a perfect relationship. After all, every couple disagrees and runs into a range of challenges. So it isn’t that healthy, happy couples fight less than other couples. It isn’t that they are so alike and compatible that they’re somehow immune to conflict.

And yet there must be something that distinguishes their partnerships from unhealthy relationships, right?
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Anger

Best of Our Blogs: August 9, 2016


Anxiety can be crippling, but you can learn to manage it. Grudges might hurt you more than the "guilty" party, but you can let go of past grievances. Sometimes, it's easy to let others dictate how they'll treat you in a relationship, but you can set boundaries and show people what you expect -- and won't tolerate -- from them.

Get ready to explore new paths you can take

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General

Early Warning Signs Your Relationship Is Making You Depressed

Everyone dreams of meeting their soul mate. Our brains actually encourage us to fall in love when we meet someone who we connect with by increasing the production of the hormone oxytocin, also known as the love hormone. Oxytocin production increases early on in a relationship and enhances the feelings associated with finding new love.   

Eventually the relationship evolves, the honeymoon phase passes and each person's...
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Caregivers

Good Qualities of Adult Children of Mentally Ill Mothers

There isn’t really a huge trumpet blowing for the qualities that blossom in the children of mentally ill mothers. Not even much of a toot. But there’s a whole orchestra booming about the downsides: the lack of self-esteem, difficulty forming relationships, trusting people, or most uplifting of all: the inevitability of developing your very own mental illness.

Just for once, let’s not go to that particular concert. Because maybe, if you’re the child of a mentally ill mother, you also have the capacity for things like this:

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General

What Makes Relationships Happy and Healthy? Couples Therapists Weigh In

We tend to hold the misconception that healthy, happy relationships happen naturally. Organically. Even effortlessly. They move along an assembly line without requiring much, if any, intervention on our part. Because we worry that if we have to work at a marriage, then maybe it simply isn’t meant to be.

This month we asked couples therapists to reveal the biggest lessons they’ve learned about healthy, happy relationships. And their lessons mainly focused on work—the kind you’d do in the garden: nurture, tend, cultivate.
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General

7 Ways to Become More Comfortable Being with Ourselves

So many of us have a hard time being alone with ourselves. Which is why we have a few glasses of wine when we’re the only one at home. It’s why we try not to be home by ourselves. It’s why we like to stay busy. It’s why we turn to all sorts of substances; anything not to think or feel or sit with ourselves.

Because, as clinical psychologist Carolyn Ferreira, Psy.D, said, “When we are still with our own thoughts and feelings, there is always the possibility that those thoughts and feelings will go to a place that we don't like.”
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General

How You Might Be Unwittingly Relinquishing Your Power—and How to Get It Back

She’s driving me crazy! He doesn’t want to improve our relationship, so there’s nothing I can do. I have to work late. Yet again. I’m not smart. I’m not capable of accomplishing this. I don’t have time for what I really want to do. If only things were different. Why does this keep happening to me???

These are just some of the ways we relinquish our power—to others, to circumstances, to conditions. As psychotherapist Eli Feldman, LMHC, said, “there are a million ways we take power away from ourselves.”
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Children and Teens

Crippled by Self-Doubt? Your Impostor Syndrome Could Have Roots in Childhood

Do you ever feel like you somehow got away with landing your job without truly deserving it? Do you feel super uncomfortable when your boss praises your work, because you’re sure you haven’t earned it? Do you have a fear of being “found out,” exposed for not being experienced, talented, successful, or knowledgeable enough for your job?

You might be experiencing something called Impostor Syndrome. And you wouldn’t be alone: more than 70% of people report experiencing Impostor Syndrome at some point in their career.
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