General

Lost in Translation

“Matt, the project was due five minutes ago,” my harping boss nags.

“I am putting the finishing touches on it. It will be in your inbox momentarily,” I respond. I scan the PowerPoint presentation one last time and reluctantly click submit. The PowerPoint presentation is high-quality. With my exacting standards, I expect the highest quality.

My supervisor, a late 30ish woman, grumbles. She speaks the universal language of sighs, grunts, and slumping posture. I visualize her impatiently refreshing her inbox every three seconds.

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Addiction

Addicted to Distraction

Is there something you really need to do, yet somehow you just can’t seem to get to it? You tell yourself you’re going to do it, but then something else always gets in the way. If so, it’s likely that you are addicted to distraction.

Here are four questions I want you to ask yourself:

How many times a day do you check or initiate emails and text messages?
How often do you check out compelling headlines on your digital devices?
How much time do you spend game playing?
How much time do you spend on social media?

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Anger

The Creative Act of Forgiveness

Have you ever found yourself driving down a dark desert highway, losing yourself in the mysterious groove of "Hotel California" by The Eagles? With such a great melody, some of the best lyrics may slip by unnoticed. Especially “We are all just prisoners here, of our own device.” There is no one way to interpret a good lyric, but this line elegantly tells you that you are the sole guardian of your emotions.

It’s inevitable that we’ll come across people who don’t treat us exactly the way we’d like. It could be the one who cuts you off in traffic or the one who made a snide comment about how your shoes don’t match your scarf.

On a bad day, it could feel like the whole world is against you. These moments sneak up on you when you least expect it. Then, in that swift second, the rainbow skies you were skipping under suddenly and rapidly turn into dark clouds of a looming thunderstorm.

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General

Rekindling the Spark in a Long-Term Marriage

People tend to work very hard to get into that “once-in-a-lifetime” relationship. The honeymoon phase of courting and dating requires great effort to let the other know that she is special, that he is “the one.”

Falling in love with your partner for the first time is all-consuming. Maintaining the love and affection once a relationship is well-established also requires effort. Often the responsibilities of life, work, and children may get in the way of focusing on the love and happiness that one feels toward his or her spouse. Your spouse may start to feel more like your roommate than your lover. It is possible, and actually enjoyable, to recapture the romance and fall back in love.

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General

The Boys in the Boat — a Metaphor for Marriage

When you dream of a great marriage, what do you see? Spouses enjoying being together, basically in harmony for a lifetime?

Or does “happily married” sound to you like an impossible dream?

Cynicism about marriage is common these days. Fairytales that finish with “and they lived happily ever after” don’t mention a key ingredient in marriage. Nor do novels and movies give credence to the importance of this element: Teamwork.
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Disorders

Why Men Stay Away from Therapy — and Why It’s Actually a Perfect Match

A man went to see psychologist Ryan Howes solely because his wife wanted him to. She wanted him to work on his communication and become more comfortable with intimacy. He wanted to be anywhere but there.

Many men feel this way about therapy.* And many men avoid it -- even when they’re struggling and need it most. They often see attending therapy as a “sign of weakness or inadequacy,” said Jean Fitzpatrick, LP, a psychotherapist who has extensive experience working with both men and women and whose practice focuses on relationship and career issues. In particular, men over 50 tend to have a harder time being vulnerable and putting their feelings into words, she said.

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General

5 Ways Group Therapy Strengthens Relationships

Everyone yearns for loving, positive relationships. Yet for many adults, stable companions continue to be out of reach. Friends come and go. Romances fall apart. Family members remain at odds with one another.

Why do some people have healthy, flourishing relationships while others do not? And why does individual therapy often fail to help people break their pattern of troubled relationships?

Unlike individual therapy, group therapy focuses exclusively on relationships. Group therapy begins with you taking 100 percent responsibility for your own behaviors and the outcomes of your relationships.
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Anger

How to Achieve Mental Freedom

Living in a chaotic world can be a huge struggle when our external environment has more power than our internal selves.

There are different ways to determine if you are struggling to find a balance between your external and internal lives. Overthinking can be indicative of this struggle; external thoughts dominate your inner peace.

The internal locus of control drives us to actively fulfill the purpose we have set for ourselves. Feeling weak causes us to rely on external factors to dictate our drive. Ultimately, the problem is that we begin to live in a mental prison where we have little control over anything. And if the problem is mental prison then, consequently, the solution is mental freedom.

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Family

Can Too Much Social Media Cause Depression?

Most of us are familiar with social networking sites such as Facebook, Twitter and Instagram. It’s easy to get caught up in the virtual social world. You may feel instantly connected to people you haven't spoken to in years. Hours of our time can be spent witnessing our friends' family vacations, children’s momentous occasions, birthdays, weddings and even difficult life transitions such as divorce, sickness and deaths.

Social networking relationships can have a positive emotional effect. However, numerous studies have been conducted and articles written linking social networking to depression and social isolation, eliciting feelings of envy, insecurity and poor self-esteem. On the contrary, other studies indicate that social media sites can be positive for people struggling with social anxiety and depression.

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Anger

Paying Attention to Triggers

Depression can hit at any time when you have bipolar disorder. Last night, I couldn’t sleep. Even with all the medications I take at night, my brain would not shut off. I lay awake in bed until close to 2 a.m.

I didn’t think I was manic yesterday. I knew I had written many articles in one day and I normally can only do one a day. Yesterday, though, I had completed five before 3 p.m. I hadn’t missed any medications, though, so I thought I just must be doing really well. Writing is my passion, after all. Maybe I have been compliant for long enough that my mind is finally coming around to being used to the medications and now I am able to concentrate on my writing fully.
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Depression

Your Suicide Attempt Doesn’t Make You Unloveable


I worried that I would be a burden to any partner who I managed to lure into my life.

When I was fourteen years old, I tried to kill myself.

Whether my brain chemistry, raging hormones, a recent breakup, or chronic low self-esteem were to blame, I can't say for certain. Often, depression doesn't seem to need a reason. Like an uninvited house guest, it simply shows up when it wants to.

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Anger

3 Ways to Be More Assertive at Work – Without Being a Jerk

Have you ever admired a co-worker who’s able to navigate challenging situations with ease and professionalism, no matter the politics and difficult personalities involved? You know the type: She has a Teflon-like ability to deflect anger and frustration in the problem-solving process and doesn’t settle for an outcome that would sacrifice her self-respect or clout among colleagues.

What she’s exhibiting is a key personality attribute that’s important in both business and life: assertiveness. For those of us who avoid confrontation like the plague -- or, on the flipside, those of us who have hair-trigger tempers -- this calm-yet-effective, agreeable-yet-firm temperament seems superhuman. Assertiveness requires skill and can take time to cultivate, but it’s a quality you can (and should) aspire to master.

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