Publishers

How to Say ‘No’ When You’re Being Pushed Too Far


Does this sound familiar?

A friend I'll call "Ed" kept pushing me to contribute to my school's alumni fund. The more he called me, the more stubborn I felt that my answer was, "No."

I felt that not only did I lack the money necessary to contribute in order to make a true difference, but I also knew whatever I could give would be paltry in relation to what the fund had already accumulated.

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Addiction

How Sex Addiction Can Change Mental Illness

I was married to a sex addict narcissist for close to 20 years. My father was a sex addict. I was a stripper many years ago and worked for many years around sex addicts. It started when I visited my father’s house on his weekend to have me after my parents' divorce. He was at work and I was a nosy child. I found a Playboy magazine. I remember it well. Suzanne Somers was on the cover. I slowly turned each page, looking at and soaking in the beauty and perfection of these women.

My immediate thought was that these women looked nothing like my mom. They were doing things my mom would never have done. I think I was only 8 or 9 years old. In that moment, I knew in my mind, like it was complete truth, that if I grew up and became a woman like that, I would be able to keep a man.

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Brain and Behavior

10 Cognitive Distortions that Can Ruin Relationships


There is a term in psychology known as "cognitive distortion." This is when your mind convinces you that something is true, when it really isn't.

These thoughts are inaccurate and reinforce negative thinking. This is a problem because there is a direct link between what we think and how we feel.

Which means -- you may be dooming yourself and your relationship without even realizing it.

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Disorders

Psychology Around the Net: August 20, 2016


A few weeks ago, my beau and I decided to tackle a huge home improvement project together.

According to Amy Kipp, a couples and family therapist in San Antonio, "Working through the ups and downs of a big project helps you hone your communication skills [...] The sense of accomplishment and teamwork that results from a challenging shared experience strengthens a couple’s bond. (Her quote is featured in 7 Relationship Milestones That Are Just as Meaningful as Marriage.)

Thus, it seems working on this project is a way to strengthen our relationship. This project is not an improvement our home needs (i.e. we're not renovating a bathroom with a leaky toilet and busted shower tiles); it's an improvement we -- as the homeowners -- want (basically, we're a large part of our backyard into a sort of outdoor oasis). As such, creative ideas are flying everywhere. We have both collective and separate visions, and we're working to combine those visions while making sure each of us is happy.

We haven't thrown any paint brushes at each other yet, so I'd say we're succeeding so far.

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Family

Complaining About Your Partner to Your Friends? Why You Should Stop

When we get together with friends, many of us start complaining about our partners. After all, he missed date night -- which you’ve been planning for months -- at the last minute. Again. It doesn’t matter what you do; she’s rarely satisfied anyway. He doesn’t listen. She refuses to clean the house. He always wants to be with his friends -- it’s like you don’t even exist. She spends too much money. He just bought the most ridiculous thing.

And that’s just the half of it.
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Aging

When Men Feel Trapped: A Practical Guide

Male midlife crisis is a term used to describe a male identity crisis that occurs around midlife. Men in a midlife crisis feel trapped in an identity or lifestyle that is constraining, and they want to break out. There is a shift in their awareness of time and themselves. With a sense of only a finite amount of years left, men are grasping at a last chance for a feeling of vitality and pleasure.

This is...
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Depression

Don’t Let Depression Steal Your Sexuality


Just work with me here...

I’ve been having a hard time writing these last couple of weeks. New insurance led to a switch in which particular generic form of my antidepressant I received, and lo and behold, the different one isn’t quite getting the job done.

I’ve been a bit weepy (ok, more than a bit -- pretty much anything involving dads gets me choked up...just happened while I was typing that) and a bit brain-foggy. I'm having a hard time focusing or getting stuff done (sorry if I owe you an email!). And I need to take occasional sobbing breaks while I am also getting hit with intermittent waves of free-floating guilt and paranoia.

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Children and Teens

4 Tips for Parenting Teens

Parenting is tough. It can get tougher when your child enters the teenage years. Understandably, you might feel overwhelmed when your child starts acting differently and stops wanting to spend time with you, preferring to hang with their friends. You might feel overwhelmed with their mood swings. You might feel anxious about navigating this next phase. You might be unsure.

What do you do? What actually helps? We talked to two experts, and an important theme emerged: empathizing with your teen and making sure they feel heard. Here’s how.
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Publishers

Learn to Break the Cycle of Codependent Relationships


"A codependent person is one who has let another person’s behavior affect him or her and who is obsessed with controlling that person’s behavior." -- Melody Beattie

From a young age, I felt insecure in my own skin. I was a highly sensitive child and, subsequently, struggled with low self-worth for most of my life.

Although I had many friends and a good family, I consistently looked for approval outside of myself. I grew up believing that the opinions of others were the only accurate representations of my core worth.

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