Relationships Articles

Why ADHD is Misunderstood

Thursday, November 27th, 2014

Why ADHD is MisunderstoodAttention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) is regularly misunderstood. In fact, some believe that ADHD doesn’t even exist. One reason is the media. Some media perpetuate the myth that pharmaceutical companies created ADHD in order to cash in, said Terry Matlen, MSW, ACSW, a psychotherapist and ADHD coach.

“This couldn’t be further from the truth,” she said. “ADHD has been identified in medical books way before the advent of ADHD medications.”

How to Cope with Pain from the Past

Wednesday, November 26th, 2014

How to Cope with Pain from the PastOne of my favorite quotes, referenced in a piece on Tiny Buddha, states:

“If you get lost in a trigger that thrusts you to a painful event, take a deep breath and remember: we can’t change that we’ve been hurt before, but we can choose not to suffer now.”

That sentiment — that we can’t change the past, but we can choose not to suffer now — struck a chord. I’ve been through many emotional downs in previous relationships (especially one significant romantic relationship) and therefore hope to embody this approach. The past can be a cautionary tale, a reminder that we’ve endured pain, but we made it to the other side and learned from the experience.

How to Navigate Anger When You’re Used to Stuffing it Down

Wednesday, November 26th, 2014

How to Navigate Anger When You’re Used to Stuffing it DownMany of us are afraid of our anger, so we shove it down. We may worry that if we express it, we’ll do damage to ourselves or others, said Selena C. Snow, Ph.D, a clinical psychologist who specializes in anger management in Rockville, Md.

We may say or do things at home or at work that we regret or will trigger negative consequences, she said.

Society also plays a role in shaping our fear or mistrust of anger.

What it Means to be Vulnerable

Wednesday, November 26th, 2014

Flickr photo by gato-gato-gatoIt’s a fact of life that you can’t truly form a relationship with at least some degree of vulnerability. You have to open up at some point or another. This has been one of those particular problems for me and as I get older I’m slowly learning how to let people in.

The truth of it is that I tend to keep people at arm’s length. I tend to maintain a distance even between my closest friends and that may be to my detriment. Jumping in wholly and completely just isn’t something that’s easy for me to do. Whether it’s a result of being hurt in the past or a result of the paranoia I feel every day as someone living with schizophrenia I’m not sure.

3 Ways to Stop Comparing Yourself to Others On Social Media

Tuesday, November 25th, 2014

teen_computer09“The reason we struggle with insecurity is because we compare our behind-the-scenes with everyone else’s highlight reel.”
~ Steve Furtick

We all have certain triggers that can cause our confidence to take a sudden nosedive.

For some, it’s a trip to the gym. If you’re self-conscious of your body, watching fit people strut their stuff in their tightest fitting gym clothes likely has you over analyzing your every body part.

For others, it may be a certain individual — a family member, friend, or enemy that, for whatever reason, leaves them with the dreaded feeling that they just aren’t enough.

Getting Past Those Awkward Moments — in Baseball and in Marriage

Monday, November 24th, 2014

Getting Past Those Awkward Moments -- in Baseball and in MarriageYou might not expect to pick up marriage tips from a baseball team. Yet as my home team, the San Francisco Giants, moved toward the World Championship, I was struck by how they showed similar character traits to those I encourage in my couples therapy clients.

Some spouses I work with have explosive personalities. They become verbally abusive when their partner doesn’t do what they want. Such impulsive reactions harm their marital relationship. In sports and other competitive games, we call someone who acts this way a “poor sport.”

The 7 Best Tips for Handling Anger and Resentment in Relationships

Sunday, November 23rd, 2014

Couples

Too much fighting in your relationship? Empathy is the antidote to anger!

“Love is not a contract between two narcissists. It’s more than that. It’s a construction that compels the participants to go beyond narcissism. In order that love lasts one has to reinvent oneself.” – French Philosopher Alain Badiou

Resentment and anger in relationships often stem from utter dismay at how your spouse could have possibly done what they did. You just can’t understand it — you never would have done such a thing.

Activities for Couples to Get Closer

Sunday, November 23rd, 2014

Activities for Couples to Get CloserIt’s normal to feel disconnected from your partner from time to time. It happens to the healthiest of couples.

We are all busy. We all have things that should’ve been done yesterday. We may be parents, which adds an extra layer of hectic. We may have demanding jobs or several jobs. We may have completely different schedules from our partners.

So we asked two relationship experts to share several activities couples can do to reconnect and get closer.

How to Determine Whether It’s ‘Love’ Or ‘Lust’

Friday, November 21st, 2014

the-pill-dampen-sexualityNot sure about your feelings? Here’s how to know if what you are feeling is really love.

Moving from “like” to “love” is one of the most important transitions a couple can make. Unfortunately, it’s also one of the most misunderstood ones. Too many couples think that love is the same as lust. This equates love with the ooey-gooey excitement and breathless anticipation that usually occurs at the beginning of a relationship.

Defining love this way makes it into a feeling and the down side is that feelings come and go. If you don’t want your love to wax and wane with your emotions, you probably don’t want to define love solely as something you feel. Our culture doesn’t give us a lot of other options for a definition of true love, though. If it’s not just a feeling, then what else is it?

Navigating Love in a Relationcanoe

Thursday, November 20th, 2014

Navigating Love in a Relationcanoe

What sets a canoeing expedition apart is that it purifies you more rapidly and inescapably than any other travel. - Pierre Elliott Trudeau

If we’re going to travel lighter toward each other in love, it’s time to change a heavy-duty word. If ever there was a tired, stodgy, lifeless word, it’s “relationship.” Who decided it was a ship in the first place? A ship is a huge, weighty vessel with lots of cargo and a big responsibility to its passengers; not easy to turn around.

What I Wish You Understood About My Depression

Thursday, November 20th, 2014

What I Wish You Understood About My DepressionThere are many persistent misconceptions about depression. For instance, people assume depression is synonymous with sadness. (It’s not.)

They also assume that individuals with depression can simply snap out of it. (They can’t. Mild depression may abate with exercise, meditation and other self-help strategies. But most people’s clinical depression usually requires treatment.)

Such misconceptions can lead us to misinterpret what people need. It can lead us to make insensitive comments — “are you sure you want to get better?” — and to be dismissive of a disease that is actually devastating and really hard.

We asked people who have or had depression to share what they wish others knew and understood about the illness.

Raised to Be a Pleaser

Wednesday, November 19th, 2014

Raised to be a PleaserDo you have a strong need for approval from others? Do you have difficulty saying no, yet often feel resentful about what you agreed to do? Do you get overly involved with people’s problems, postponing attention to your own?

Try to please everyone and it’s likely you’re operating on overload.

Recent Comments
  • ek_ladki: “Genshai”? There is no such word in the Hindi language.
  • amandaundialed.: I completely agree with you. I’m thankful that I have read this, and that other people...
  • amandaundialed.: Amazing advice. You should be the administrator of most sites. Thank you very much; I found your...
  • amandaundialed.: :) thank you
  • amandaundialed.: But … What I think I read was that you can ask a psychologist for a rate ;whilst not free, is...
Subscribe to Our Weekly Newsletter


Find a Therapist
Enter ZIP or postal code



Users Online: 9696
Join Us Now!