Relationships Articles

How a Little Space and Time Can Help Heal a Relationship Crisis

Thursday, August 28th, 2014

Portrait of unhappy young couple in bedroom

“Getting over a painful experience is much like crossing monkey bars. You have to let go at some point in order to go forward.” – C.S. Lewis

When you’re in the middle of any sort of relationship crisis, the very last thing you want to do is let go. Conflict with someone you love often makes you want to do the very opposite, especially when the other person is already doubting the future of the relationship.

When we’re feeling threatened by the loss of someone we love, we act from a place of fear. Our stress hormones skyrocket as we react with our fight or flight instinct. Suddenly we hold tighter, talk more, do more, and think of nothing else.

Soul Mates: Do They Really Exist?

Thursday, August 28th, 2014

Soul Mates: Do They Really Exist?Lately, I’ve perused articles regarding soul mates, and I couldn’t help but note how a soul mate may often be conceptualized as an individual’s “other half to their whole,” synchronizing with Plato’s theory.

A news article on Psych Central even relayed that those who perceive their partner as their soul mate, as being part of that kind of unity, were more dissatisfied in their relationship when conflict arose. After all, if you are with your soul mate, the perfect counterpart, why should trouble even surface? Couples who viewed their relationship as a journey, a journey that involves continual growth, were happier.

Relationship Lies: Learn These 4 Dating Myths NOW Ladies

Wednesday, August 27th, 2014

The Secret to Great Relationships of Any Kind

No, you won’t “just know” when you meet the right guy.

Are you totally baffled as to why you only seem to attract men who are far from ideal for you? Are you tired of ending up with men who aren’t ready for the same type of relationship you want?

Before you give up on the possibility of ever meeting a guy who truly measures up, you may want to take a look at how the following so-called “dating rules” may be adversely hurting your chances of finding The One.

Blue in the Face: When the Other Person Just Doesn’t ‘Get It’

Tuesday, August 26th, 2014

He Just Doesn’t ‘Get it’!Have you felt frustrated because someone close to you just doesn’t “get it,” even though you’ve explained your point over and over? During those times, do you feel yourself getting enraged or shaking your head in disgust?

We’re often under the illusion that if only the other person understood “the facts” (as we see them), he’d embrace our position. When he doesn’t, we’re perplexed and frustrated.  In those moments, it’s hard to imagine that the other person has his own version of “the facts.” That what we strongly adhere to may differ from his deeply entrenched beliefs. And that just as strongly as you believe you’re right, he believes you’re wrong.

Couples You Meet in Counseling: The Ice Queen and the Martyr

Monday, August 25th, 2014

upset couple backs bigstMy first post in this series tackled Mr. Perfect and his crazy wife. Here we turn to The Ice Queen and the Martyr, another commonly seen couple.

Here are some examples of what you hear from The Martyr in session:

“No matter what I do, it’s not good enough. She doesn’t show any appreciation or affection. I guess I don’t communicate well. But I’ve heard from other girlfriends that I’m actually great at communicating. “

“We haven’t had sex in months. She pushes me away. I guess I should try harder, but I already schedule date nights, help with housework, and get up with the baby.”

You Have the Right to Say No

Sunday, August 24th, 2014

You Have the Right to Say NoSo many of us end up saying yes to activities, events and even ideas only to regret it. We end up answering questions that are too personal or downright rude. We let people into our lives who don’t deserve to be there.

Or we say no, and then worry — endlessly — if we really have the right to decline a request or invitation, to stop spending less time with a friend.

According to authors James Altucher and Claudia Azula Altucher in their new book The Power of No: Because One Little Word Can Bring Health, Abundance and Happiness, not only do we have the right to say no, we have an entire Bill of Rights for doing so.

Families Engaged in Destructive Tug of War: How to Drop the Rope

Saturday, August 23rd, 2014

Families Engaged In Tug of War: How to Drop the RopeTug of war is an ancient game that is believed to have begun in the 8th century BC as a training exercise for warriors. Today it is a fun game usually played at social events that pits two teams against one another to reveal which team is the strongest and has the most endurance.

However, when a tug of war pits two family members against each other, it’s anything but fun. Indeed, it often turns into a deadly game — killing any safety and security that family members feel in their own home.

Psychology Around the Net: August 23, 2014

Saturday, August 23rd, 2014

cant-stop-thinking-of-ex

Overthinking, oversharing, and — well, a few celebrities to boot. That’s what you’ll find in this week’s Psychology Around the Net.

When to Think Less About Your Choices: Thinking too much about something could mean you’re focusing on only a few variables instead of blending a more holistic, emotional view into the situation.

The Psychology of Oversharing Facebook Couples: We all have one or three of these couples within our Facebook feeds. Now find out the psychology behind them.

Pharrell’s ‘Happy’ is a Rare Bright Spot in Track Sales This Year: Admit it: You can’t help but feel a little boost in mood when you hear this song! Well, according to Billboard it’s also bucking the downward trend record sales have seen lately.

Heartbreak Happens: Get Over It!

Friday, August 22nd, 2014

post-breakup-tips

Don’t let one setback stop you from finding love and happiness in the rest of your life.

Life is a series of events. I want you to look at that statement, and then I want you to read it again. Life is a series of events.

In fact, I want you to read it one more time. Life is a series of events. Read it, and say it aloud to yourself six times. Now that that’s lodged firmly in your head, I want to ask you a question: Why does one event traumatize a person so badly?

Understanding the Cycle of Guilt

Thursday, August 21st, 2014

Understanding the Cycle of GuiltThe cycle of guilt is the ultimate Catch-22 situation, an emotional prison where no matter what you do, you end up feeling bad. I know this place, because it’s taken me weeks to write this article, and all the while I’ve been running laps on the hamster wheel of guilt.

And it’s not just me. The subject has entered the therapy room quite a lot this summer; many people seem to want off the wheel, to break the cycle and dump the feelings of heaviness and burden.

Does Living in the Moment Mean Forgetting the Past?

Thursday, August 21st, 2014

Flickr Creative Commons InvernoDreamingLet it go. Move on. Live in the moment. These are valid sentiments — words of wisdom that are featured in self-help books and spoken by personal development gurus. And I honestly adhere to those notions; moving forward from certain chapters and releasing old ghosts is freeing. And healthy. Staying present encourages appreciation, of beauty, of the little things.

However, without discounting the aforementioned points, I propose that the past is immensely valuable as well. Happiness could be attained via reminiscence, and in the past, meaning could be garnered and lessons can be learned.

The Truth about Couples Therapy

Thursday, August 21st, 2014

upset couple backs bigstI always say that every couple would benefit from therapy. As a couples therapist myself, I am privy to the benefits of therapy both after problems begin and as a preventative measure. As some brilliant person once said, “The best time to fix a leaky roof is when the sun is shining.”

But the truth is, most people aren’t entirely enthusiastic about the prospect of couples therapy. Who wants to voluntarily do something that conjures up images of a woman in a beige sweater looking over her glasses, asking, “And how do you feel about that?”

Recent Comments
  • Fed Up: I am in a very similar situation. Except She admitted they kissed on a work night out, and I even showed her...
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  • Sadat Malik: I enjoyed this article. It had some helpful insight into the causes of love addiction, some of the tell...
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  • deborah: Will there be a replay of this webinar somewhere? It was very helpful.
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