Relationships Articles

Radical Self-Care for Moms

Monday, October 20th, 2014

Radical Self-Care for MomsAs a mom, when you hear that it’s important to take care of yourself, your eyes might glaze over and you may be thinking something like: “Another thing I need to add to my to-do list: ‘self-care.’ How am I supposed to do that?”

That’s the reaction Elizabeth Sullivan sometimes gets from her clients.

It Helps to Focus on the Positive Stuff

Sunday, October 19th, 2014

It Helps to Focus on the Positive StuffThings are OK as they are. That’s the one fact I’ve been struggling with recently.

I have this image in my mind as to how I want things to be. I want to make lots of money, I want a house in the mountains, I want to get married. All of this I worry about on a near-daily basis. These are also the things that drive me to work, to be better, and to achieve more things.

Why Real Love Is Hard Work

Sunday, October 19th, 2014

rainbow loomA month into our relationship, my now-husband asked me, “Where do you see yourself in five years?”

I didn’t hesitate.

“As a nun in a third-world country doing missionary work,” I said.

“Interesting.”

Somewhere around that time I also told him it would be five years before I slept with him. It was the quickest five years of my life.

The Solitude Dilemma

Thursday, October 16th, 2014

The Solitude DilemmaThis week The Atlantic shared a video in its Editor’s Picks series called ‘The Benefits of Living Alone on a Mountain.’ It followed a young man named Leif Haugen, a Forest Service firefighter in Montana. For three months out of the year, Leif lives alone at the lookout on top of a mountain.

Watching the video, I couldn’t help but feel a rather fervent mix of desire and fear.

Living in solitude like that, with no one to talk to and nothing to distract you but books and chores seems like a dream to me. At the same time, though, it made me wonder if, were I to live like that, I would get lonely.

Important: Do Not Overfeed (Yourself or Others)

Wednesday, October 15th, 2014

Female_betta_closeupLast weekend, we had a lot of excitement. My nine-year-old daughter got a betta fish, which she named Esther.

When we were talking to the clerk about how to care for the fish, she told us, “Be sure not to overfeed your fish. Just two pellets.”

When we read the little instruction book that came with the bowl, it said, “Do not overfeed your fish.” On the bottle of fish food, it said, “DO NOT OVERFEED.” So it seems clear to me that people have a real tendency to overfeed their fish.

Which got me thinking — why is it so fun to feed animals, birds, people? Even when it’s not such a good idea.

Why We Can Get Along a Whole Lot Better

Wednesday, October 15th, 2014

Why We Can Get Along a Whole Lot BetterAre you feeling beaten down by communication patterns you’re unable to control? Would you like to know why you’re having personality clashes? Minimize communication clashes or avoidance? Experience growth and a deeper level of understanding? Get along far better as a couple? Implement changes that last over the long haul?

The key is knowing whether you and your communication partner are the same or opposite communicator types.

21 Warning Signs of an Emotionally Abusive Relationship

Monday, October 13th, 2014

Signs of Emotional Abuse

Is it possible that you are being abused and not even know it?

Domestic violence is once again in the forefront of the news. This is in part due to abusive incidents with sports figures or celebrities that have become very public. Abuse is not always as obvious as being hit or shoved, called degrading names or cussed out. In fact, it can very well be underhanded or subtle.

You may find yourself feeling confused about the relationship, off balance or like you are “walking on eggshells” all the time. This is the kind of abuse that often sneaks up on you as you become more entrenched in the relationship. I am talking here about psychological abuse, which is also known as mental or emotional abuse.

Love Crimes: When the Abused Believe It’s for Their Own Good

Monday, October 13th, 2014

Love CrimesOne of the most nurturing, compassionate women I know is also an abused wife who once shared her biggest regret. Did she regret staying with her abusive husband? No. The most regretful day of her life was when she phoned the police after he physically assaulted her yet again.

“I ruined his life,” she said. “It’s the biggest mistake I ever made.” Immune to any reason, she pressed on, blaming herself for the “humiliation he had to endure” at anger management classes, the draining of her family’s resources on lawyer fees and the indelible black mark “she caused” on his otherwise spotless veneer.

Psychology Around the Net: October 11, 2014

Saturday, October 11th, 2014

Happy Couple

Find tips on creating a loving relationship, information about how your happiness affects your decision-making process, and more in this week’s Psychology Around the Net.

5 Tips to Create a Loving Relationship With Fewer Disappointments: Having trouble in the love department, or just want to improve your current relationship? Check out these five tips for focusing on yourself and finding “wholeness,” letting go of expectations, listening to understand rather than to react, and more.

Depression Increases Risk of Falls in Elderly: Recent research from Neuroscience Research Australia suggests the risk of falls among the elderly increases when depressive symptoms are present.

Top Reasons Couples Fall Out of Love

Thursday, October 9th, 2014

Top Reasons Couples Fall Out of LoveYou’ll hear many people say “we just aren’t ‘in love’ with each other anymore.” But relationships don’t naturally fall apart, according to Susan Orenstein, a licensed psychologist and relationship expert in Cary, N.C.

Other reasons often underlie a relationship’s breakdown. Below, you’ll find these common reasons along with several helpful suggestions if one hits close to home.

5 Warning Signs You’re Being Objectified

Wednesday, October 8th, 2014

Where is the line between healthy attraction and objectification? Know the warning signs now!

A new study shows that objectification can be linked to sexual coercion in romantic relationships. This is not surprising, for several reasons. More alarmingly, objectification is also statistically linked to sexual violence. This is also not surprising.

So how do you tell the difference between objectification and healthy attraction?

Getting Your Needs Met

Wednesday, October 8th, 2014

Surefire Strategies That Don’t Work for ADHD – And Some That DoAre you a nice person? Are you considerate, thoughtful and sensitive to the needs of others? That’s admirable and praiseworthy!

So how come you’ve been feeling unappreciated lately? Your needs never seem to count. It’s not fair.

You take other people’s feelings into account. How come they run roughshod over yours?

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