Relationships Articles

5 More Tips for Finding Love with a Mental Illness

Friday, January 23rd, 2015

5 More Tips for Finding Love with a Mental IllnessIn a previous post, we discussed five tips for finding love with a mental illness. Here are five more.

1. When to discuss your mental illness? It’s a dilemma: When should you reveal your mental illness? The first date should be fun and light so you can find common ground, but you probably don’t want to wait so long that a medical event suddenly thrusts your problems into the spotlight.

As you contemplate a future with your significant other, please remember: Don’t feel ashamed of your mental illness, medication, or counseling. It’s no different from needing medicine for diabetes or having a drug allergy; they’re just different types of medical issues that everyday people have.

What It Means to Teach People How to Treat You

Thursday, January 22nd, 2015

What It Means to Teach People How to Treat YouWe often hear the advice that it’s important to teach people how to treat us. But what does this really mean? What does it actually look like?

According to marriage and family therapist Michael Morgan, teaching people how to treat us is a process that involves teaching them “what is acceptable and unacceptable. It is knowing what we need and want and being able to communicate it effectively to others.”

5 Tips for Finding Love with a Mental Illness

Wednesday, January 21st, 2015

3 Therapy Exercises to Help Couples ConnectDating can bring joy and passion or make you feel lonely and misunderstood. When you add a mental illness into the mix, things can get even more complicated — if you let them. But you’re hardly alone in your confusion.

According to the National Alliance on Mental Illness, in any given year, roughly one in four adults experiences mental illness. Of these, many are enjoying loving, stable relationships. Many others don’t even know they have a mental disorder.

Mental illness is a medical condition that can be treated with medication and therapy. It doesn’t have to limit your social life, and it certainly doesn’t mean that you can’t look for a partner.

7 Tips to Avoid Letting Money Negatively Affect Your Relationships

Sunday, January 18th, 2015

Money Lock

It is said that money is one of the No. 1 challenges in relationships; however, it is not just the lack of money that causes problems. The pursuit of money and the use of money are also capable of challenging, if not destroying, our relationships.

As we put a firm step into the New Year, here are some reminders for maintaining healthy relationships with your loved ones, business associates, and with yourself. These golden rules can take you farther than simple riches can.

Relationship Resolutions

Sunday, January 18th, 2015

start-dating-your-spouseMost New Year’s resolutions sound wonderful. But you know what happens: they’re out the window before February. The best way to keep your promise is to start small.

Although I’m about to suggest some resolutions to enrich your relationship, I recommend that you commit to just one, after first selecting carefully. You want to promise to do something that is doable now.

5 Helpful Practices for Families

Friday, January 16th, 2015

5 Helpful Practices for FamiliesIn his book The Secrets of Happy Families author and New York Times family columnist Bruce Feiler turns to various fields and individuals — the military, Silicon Valley, sports coaches and Green Berets — for insights into creating stronger, more connected families. He also tries out these tips at home with his own family, which includes his wife and twin daughters.

In the book, Feiler shares all kinds of tools for teaching kids values, creating a more peaceful household and having more fun as a family.

Here are five tips and tools from The Secrets of Happy Families, which you might want to adopt for your family.

6 Tips for Building Emotional Muscle When Life Gets Tough

Thursday, January 15th, 2015

Woman outdoors holding flower smiling

If your emotional muscle is damaged from the past, it’s up to you to build it back up.

The scenario happens so often, it’s practically cliche:

A woman or man in an “unhappy” marriage meets someone new. Instantly, there’s a powerful connection, and maybe even an affair occurs; and, instantly, this person thinks she or he now knows how to be happy again.

The Reasons We Ruminate and How to Reduce the Cycle

Wednesday, January 14th, 2015

The Reasons We Ruminate And How to Reduce the CycleWhen we’re ruminating about something, we’re really obsessing about it. We overthink it. We blow it up in our minds. We review a situation over and over. And over.

Therapist Melody Wilding, LMSW, compared our ruminating minds to a broken record. Typically we ruminate about the past, including perceived mistakes and missed opportunities, she said.

Ruminating is “characterized by overwhelming self-criticism and negative self-talk about one’s failures and shortcomings.” We think that if we’d just done something better or had been better, the outcome would’ve been more positive, she said.

What It Really Means to Be in the Present Moment

Tuesday, January 13th, 2015

medication-adhd-treatmentThese days we often hear touted the importance of being in the present moment. We’re told that the “now” is all that exists and if we’re not here “now” then we’re not really living.

This makes a great deal of sense to me. Oftentimes, I find myself distracted by thought about the future. Or, I replay past experiences in my mind, often unproductively.

Being in the moment frees us to experience life more fully, which is a good thing. But might this edict have a shadow side? Like any rule or declaration, it has limitations and is prone to misunderstanding.

Why Compliments are Powerful

Tuesday, January 13th, 2015

Why Compliments are Powerful

There is more hunger for love and appreciation in this world than for bread. ~ Mother Teresa

Psychologist John Gottman most likely agrees. His widely respected research found that in good marriages, compliments outnumber criticisms by more than five to one.

My book, Marriage Meetings for Lasting Love:30 Minutes A Week to the Relationship You’ve Always Wanted, tells exactly how to hold a successful marriage meeting. They are short, gently structured conversations with your spouse which fosters romance, intimacy, teamwork, and smoother resolution of issues.

5 Ways Couples Can Connect When They’re Super Busy

Monday, January 12th, 2015

5 Ways Couples Can Connect When They're Super BusyYou don’t have to be told that today’s world is a rapidly moving one. You know it. You feel it every time you start writing your to-do list or reviewing it at night, noticing that you haven’t exactly crossed everything off.

“Every individual, couple, and family experiences the ramifications of the fast-paced world in which we live,” said Kaitlyn Slight, MS, a marriage and family therapist who specializes in working with couples in Raleigh, N.C.

“Coming home from work to do more work, carpooling children, unmanageable responsibilities, and impossible deadlines leave people fatigued, frustrated, stressed, and with little energy to give to relationships.”

6 Ways to Tell If You and Your Partner Are In a Toxic Relationship

Sunday, January 11th, 2015

upset couple backs bigst

Are you giving everything and getting nothing but hurt? It’s time to move on…

The unspoken dating rule is that once you’re bonded with someone, you don’t want to let go, even if things aren’t going great.

Since most of us like to avoid our feelings, we don’t want to do the grieving that’s necessary to let go. But when you’ve had a loss, there are a certain number of tears you must cry to let go — getting on with the crying is the fastest way. Even if the dissolution of the relationship was your idea, you may be clinging to a dream — in denial.

A bad relationship can become like an addiction — a difficult habit to break, because you are emotionally attached, and the attached part of you wants to keep trying, while the rational part knows you need to let go.

Recent Comments
  • Junefer Enaga: It helps a lot,, specially to the person like me who is nothing to be trusted about my problm
  • Scott B.: This is precisely what I’ve been saying recently to family and friends, in some cases, more so than...
  • Scott B.: I’m getting fed up/cynical myself after years of therapy with various doctors, and don’t get my...
  • Lyle Harris: Thank you. Even though this is an older piece, I still re-read it frequently. I have two young children,...
  • Anna: Thank you very much for this spot on article. The sneeze analogy was so perfect. I am suffering the worst...
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