Your intentions are pure. You want to help.

It might be your friend, your spouse, or one of your parents. It might be a co-worker, your sister, or your child.

If you’ve never had a panic attack, however, it can be difficult to imagine how panic feels. Thus, it can be difficult to comfort someone who is legitimately panicking.

In a way, I can only speak for myself. I’m not a doctor. I’m not a therapist. I’m just another woman with panic disorder, after all.

But thankfully, I’ve established a pretty large support network in my nine or so years of dealing with panic. Friends, family members, and internet acquaintances all seem to agree on one thing: “help” can sometimes hurt.

The quotation marks are intentional. To the non-panicker, “just calm down” might be the first phrase to trip out of your mouth during a friend’s surprise panic attack. We know you mean well — really, we do.

But phrases like that have the potential to fan the fight-or-flight flames. Find out how in today’s video:

Think you can avoid a sales pitch?

Maybe you can. If there’s a salesperson knocking on your door, you could run away and hide in the bedroom until he goes away.

But not all masters of persuasion are dressed up in suits and ties to sell volcano insurance. We actually fall victim to many sales pitches each and every day — from television, from magazines, from friends, and from family.

It’s not your fault, really — it’s part of our nature to behave in a manner that makes us susceptible to certain persuasive techniques. In fact, it’s common courtesy.

Let’s say you head out to the bar with a friend. First round of drinks is on you.

Then what? Who gets the next round?

We’ve reached the end!

Blogger Chato Stewart has so many Mental Health Heroes that it took me four videos to cover them all! He’s honored each …

Happy Autumn! The leaves are beginning to change colors and there’s a cozy chill in the air that invites jackets and light scarves. Isn’t it nice?

Just kidding.

But did you stop for a second to look at the calendar? You know, just to make sure that May through September didn’t blindly pass you by?

You can’t find seasons at the Lost and Found

It’s true: you can miss an entire season if you’re not paying attention. Have you ever taken a shower (yes, I hope, but let me continue…) in which you’re completely blind to the fact that you’re even taking a shower until the second you shut off the tap?

This is what happens when we let our minds hang in the past or scurry to the future. We forget where we are, what we’re doing, and what the present moment holds for us.

Belly breathing isn’t an easy skill to learn… especially for a panicker like me.

When I first started trying to breathe diaphragmatically while under lots of stress in grad school, the whole effort was a miserable failure. Whenever I tried, even in the comfort of my own apartment, I felt like I wasn’t getting enough air. And that airless feeling, in turn, would usually trigger a panic attack.

Despite my perennial pessimism in most other parts of life, I kept trying.

I kept trying at home. I kept trying in my university’s anxiety management class. I kept trying in the library. I kept trying and trying and trying.

And now, four or five odd years later, I’m finally able to breathe out of my belly instead of my upper chest. Through mindfulness, I’m now able to notice when my breathing pattern is off — and then, I can consciously correct it.

[caption id="attachment_4049" align="alignleft" width="225" caption="A row of split and shaved Paxil fragments, lined up in descending size, that I took near the end of my ...

I hated sixth grade.

It was my first year in middle school and I reeked of awkwardness in a very “Deb-from-Napoleon-Dynamite” sort of way. Side ponytail? Check. Fascination with weird homemade lanyards and keychains? Check.

All the older kids were wearing their grunge-inspired flannel shirts and Grateful Dead t-shirts. Most of my wardrobe came from either Kids R Us or a giant garbage bag of hand-me-down clothes that my mother had collected from her co-workers.

One day, while walking home from school, a eighth-grade boy started harassing me. He’d call me names, comment on my clothing, and taunt me nearly the entire ten-block walk. My entire repertoire of comebacks, unfortunately, came straight from Full House.

I am not the only person with an anxiety disorder.

Likewise, you are not the only person with an anxiety disorder.

But it can sure feel that way sometimes, eh? Especially on days when everyone else at the party is acting super sociable, but you’re slunked (is that a word?) down in a corner and too dizzy to talk to anyone.

It’s easy to feel alone on days when everyone else seems to be gathering their groceries from the store shelves just fine, but you’re still hovering in the breezeway, leaning on your cart, and trying to muster up the courage to walk inside.

And it’s easy to feel alone at work, too. Everyone else can pay attention to the corporate PowerPoint presentation in the conference room, but you’re sitting next to the closed door, thinking about how far you are from the office restroom, and flexing your leg muscles for a quick escape.

Every time we say “I am alone!” we are lying.

We are not alone in our struggles…and I made a video, just for you, to prove it:

Coping with panic attacks can be difficult, to say the least.

I’ve had well over… um… well, I’m not exactly counting, but it’s certainly more than 300 or 400. And I mean bona fide panic attacks. Not high anxiety — true panic.

Even after 8 years, I’m still working on coping with it effectively. A series of heart palpitations in the cereal aisle will still send me dashing for the exit of the grocery store. A twinge of nausea on a car ride will send me reaching for Xanax.

And a little unwelcome heat & humidity will make me clammy and lightheaded… just like it did today. Just as I started filming this video, I panicked. My apartment was too warm and I couldn’t get the AC to work. Frustrated, I started feeling woozy and like I needed to sit down, lest I panic. Then, when I finally did sit down, I became worried that I would simply grow hotter and hotter until I finally passed out. So, feeling even woozier, I stood up again to plead with the thermostat, shaking, and extremely fearful of passing out.

When I read Richard Zwolinski’s most recent Therapy Soup blog post, this quote caught me off guard:

“While I know of suicidal youth as young …

Read more… »

Earlier this week, you may have seen Sandy Naiman’s post about how to bounce back from unemployment stress:

In today’s economy, with soaring unemployment rates, …

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It’s been a long week, hasn’t it?

The days are getting longer here in the northern hemisphere — and for many of us, the extra light brings joy.

But the extra light also keeps us wakeful for longer. Soon, even 8 pm will be nearly as bright as mid-day.

That extra light — as welcomed as it might be after such a long and dark winter — can do us a big disservice. When there’s more daylight outside, do you ever feel like you pack more activities into your day? Does it take more effort to slow down for bedtime? Do you tend to go to bed later?

If you’ve answered “yes” to any of the above questions, keep reading! I made a video just for you.